Some kind of a wake up call...
By sishy7
@sishy7 (27166)
Australia
December 3, 2015 2:25am CST
I came home from work yesterday and found my husband cleaning his shed - throwing some stuff away, and putting the rest in some kind of organized manner inside it... 
I find that rather unusual as I know he can be such a hoarder. He piles everything inside the shed thinking one day he'll need this or that for something or another. Well, that something or another never comes and the stuff just keep piling up... 
He frequents a local junk-yard owned by an elderly Vietnamese couple. He first discovered the place when he needed some spare parts for a bike he's building. That was years ago and since he has even befriended the couple.
Yesterday he left work early and was so excited to visit the yard. But he was greeted with sad news from the wife informing him that her husband has passed 2 weeks ago. Apparently he had a stroke right there at his yard and died on the way to the hospital. My husband was so shocked and the news really affected him. The couple's son was there when he heard the news, and he even said to my husband how his dad always talked about him being not just a regular customer but a good friend as well... 
He came home so sad after learning about his friend's death and started going through the shed. He later told me that he just didn't want to leave me and the kids with a huge mess of his stuff in there to deal with should something bad happen to him unexpectedly. In a way, I think it was just his way to funnel his sadness... 
I find that rather unusual as I know he can be such a hoarder. He piles everything inside the shed thinking one day he'll need this or that for something or another. Well, that something or another never comes and the stuff just keep piling up...
He frequents a local junk-yard owned by an elderly Vietnamese couple. He first discovered the place when he needed some spare parts for a bike he's building. That was years ago and since he has even befriended the couple.
Yesterday he left work early and was so excited to visit the yard. But he was greeted with sad news from the wife informing him that her husband has passed 2 weeks ago. Apparently he had a stroke right there at his yard and died on the way to the hospital. My husband was so shocked and the news really affected him. The couple's son was there when he heard the news, and he even said to my husband how his dad always talked about him being not just a regular customer but a good friend as well...
He came home so sad after learning about his friend's death and started going through the shed. He later told me that he just didn't want to leave me and the kids with a huge mess of his stuff in there to deal with should something bad happen to him unexpectedly. In a way, I think it was just his way to funnel his sadness... 25 people like this
18 responses
@sishy7 (27166)
• Australia
4 Dec 15
@JudyEv I'm sure my husband keeps some useful stuff in there, like the many tools/hand tools/power tools/gardening tools that he seems to enjoy collecting. But I really am not very handy at all with them - and so far I don't see signs that my sons would have any interests in them either although at least one of them would help his father with some projects occasionally...
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
4 Dec 15
good that he started going through it, sad the thing that motivated him
4 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
4 Dec 15
@sishy7 he may also be working through his grief.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
3 Dec 15
My mom was an awful, disorganized hoarder of trash. I hope I am not doing the same. My brother mostly cleaned out her house. My dad has watched this process (they were divorced) and over the years he has gotten rid of things that in the past he would have kept. He says he does not want us to go through that with him. I think he is more organized in the first place. I agree, this is part of your husband's grieving.
3 people like this
@sishy7 (27166)
• Australia
3 Dec 15
In a way, he was reminded of his own 'junk' when he was at the old man's yard. He's so used to see his friend maintaining the place whenever he visited before. And yesterday when my husband saw only the wife and son, he realized how hard it must be for them to run the place without the old man who had always been the backbone of the business.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 15
Sorry to hear about your husband's friend. I'm sure it really affected him if it made him want to do all the cleaning. Sometimes one single incident can be a turning point for people to change their habit, so that might have been the turning point for your husband.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
9 Dec 15
When dad passed away mom called a junk dealer to come out and haul all his stuff away. She got quite a bit of money out of all those things he had hoarded. There was a shed full of spare parts, a big pile of car and bicycle parts and half a dozen old junk cars.
The yard and one section of the fields didn't look right after the junk man finished clearing everything out...
2 people like this
@sishy7 (27166)
• Australia
10 Dec 15
Oh, that must had been some major clear out...
My husband was counting on his friend to take whatever scrap metals or other things piling up in the shed. So far the junk-yard business is still open, but my husband feels it's just not the same when run by the son.
@blitzfrick (2890)
• United States
11 Dec 15
For many years, I've been on a decluttering quest. Paper is my nemesis. But a few years back, I was re-inspired when I visited the house of the recently deceased mother of one of my highschool friends. Her mother had been a hoarder, and her daughter Ginger had to take care of floor-to-ceiling "stuff". Not only was the house literally stuffed, but also the garage and a storage shed in the back yard. Ginger finally hired a company to help her out. Like your husband, I don't want to leave a houseful of stuff for others to sift through and get rid of after I'm gone. The battle continues.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27166)
• Australia
13 Dec 15
When it comes to paper or documents, I'm much worse than my husband... I keep everything - down to every little receipt... 
But I'm working at it as well, I figure I really need to be a bit more reasonable and just start throwing some away before I'm buried in them...
But I'm working at it as well, I figure I really need to be a bit more reasonable and just start throwing some away before I'm buried in them... 1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27166)
• Australia
14 Dec 15
@blitzfrick I can understand that feelings... I went through some old boxes few months ago and found letters my father wrote to me in the '80s. They went back in the boxes and didn't go to my throw away pile. My sister thinks I'm strange doing that. And I think she's the strange one for having no sentimental bone at all... 
1 person likes this
@blitzfrick (2890)
• United States
14 Dec 15
@sishy7 I have a few documents that are from the 1980s. I just can't let them go, they're part of my personal history.... it's very hard to explain.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382036)
• Rockingham, Australia
4 Dec 15
That is very sad. Your husband would have called in with no idea that something was amiss. We are trying to declutter but it is difficult when you don't know when you are going to die We continually use bits and pieces that we have kept for a 'rainy day'.
We continually use bits and pieces that we have kept for a 'rainy day'.2 people like this
@Traceyjayne (11329)
• United Kingdom
6 Dec 15
I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with your husband and his friends family x
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
7 Dec 15
that is sad. having a friend of different nationality is good, and also heart-breaking when that friend passes away.
1 person likes this
@BethieAnnie (818)
• Dayton, Ohio
4 Dec 15
Everyone has a unique way to cope with grief. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance. We can move through the stages in any order, and they may overlap. Thank you for sharing this. My father put together a will after seeing a friend nearly die of heart trouble, I suppose that was my father's way.
1 person likes this
