It Finally Blew Up

Tweet

So sometimes when I read a discussion I am totally lost. It will start out talking about how it went okay, and go on from there, but the post won't make any mention of what "it" is. I guess they assume people will know what they're talking about if they are on their friend list. Well, it is impossible for us to read each and every discussion someone posts, so often I don't know what they are referring to. So in my own discussions I try to give a little background so if someone has never read my discussion they'll be clued in to what I'm talking about. Now I'm thinking of giving that up. It's getting to be a lot to write about if I'm also going to include the never ending problem of my how my uncle is with my grandmother. But I'll try again: my mother died at 55 of dementia, my maternal grandfather died before she did, also of dementia, but a different form. My uncle (60) is a sociopath. He lives next door to my grandmother (80) and uses her for everything. He is addicted to pain pills and often falls and makes himself worse because he has no idea what he's doing. He recently fell and didn't want to go to the doctor. He can hardly walk now and was calling my grandmother around 25 times a day (no exaggeration) to do things ranging from bringing him a bottle to urinate in, to turning his heat up, and then turning his heat down. I live 2 1/2 hours away, so I can't do much. I spent a week with her in the beginning of January and saw how terrible the situation was. While I was there I tried to do everything he asked so she wouldn't have to. Ironically, she was aggravated he'd ask me to do anything. My grandmother acknowledges to everyone, BUT my uncle how troublesome he is, how much he is in the wrong, and how he should be in a nursing home instead of her doing everything for him. He appears to have no clue she minds waiting on him hand and foot. And believe me, I told him he was ruining her life. So she had to go to the hospital, which I wrote about last week or the week before. She was in for a little over a week with pneumonia. During that time she apparently had enough, but she didn't deal with it the way we all hoped she would. Instead of telling him she needed him to take care of himself and that he needed to go in a home and she couldn't wait on him hand and foot (she's had back surgeries ruined because she tried to pick him up when he fell). Nope, she decided she's selling her house and going to a nursing home herself. She's also having my dad sell her car so she literally has no way of doing anything for her son. She can't seem to actually put her foot down so instead of him doing what should be done, she's selling her last connection to my grandfather. This is a woman who can do anything, as long as she isn't bearing the stress of taking care of my uncle. She's an excellent driver, never in an accident, and never a ticket. So she's not giving it all up because she's incompetent. She realizes he's going to end up killing her, and she's taking it out of his hands When I talked to her a couple of weeks ago she was so torn up she was leaving her home she spent with my grandfather. But she'd rather do that than having it out with my uncle. I realize he is her child. But I can't fully explain the horrible things he has done. His own daughters won't speak to him. He's stolen pain medications from his parents, his in laws, and even me. There is so much more, but it's already too long. *She originally told him she was selling his house (because she and my grandfather bought it for him) as well as hers and he would have to go to a home, but after he got angry she backed off and told him he could stay in the house as long as she could afford it.