Terms of enDEARment...
By JJ
@JolietJake (50190)
March 9, 2018 4:03am CST
I hate when someone I don't know at all calls me 'dear'.
Let's put this in plain words: you do not know me.
Therefore I am NOT your darling, or your precious, or your beloved, or your sweetheart.
In the culture I come from, referring to someone you do not know as 'dear' can be considered an insult.
I would probably accept 'dear' from a southern waitress in a restaurant if she said "I'll be with you in a minute dear".
But someone I have never seen face-to-face, or had any real interaction with online, saying "Thank you for your opinion dear" just rubs me wrong...especially coming from another guy. 
I. Am. Not. Your. Dear.
Got it darlin'? 
I. Am. Not. Your. Dear.
Got it darlin'? 27 people like this
32 responses
@toniganzon (72542)
• Philippines
9 Mar 18
I just told someone that in a response to one of his discussions that I get annoyed when being called 'dear.' Especially here in mylot. Several years ago I think I told people that in here that I don't want to be called dear. But Indian members told me it's really common for them to be calling someone dear. But I still don't like that. OH and when someone calls me, 'my friend' here in mylot. I don't enjoy that as well.
So this is one nice discussion, DEAR. 
7 people like this
@JolietJake (50190)
•
9 Mar 18
I can accept it from you though sweetheart since we've known each other for a bit
4 people like this
@toniganzon (72542)
• Philippines
9 Mar 18
@Jackalyn I don't mind when I am face to face with a person. But not here especially from strangers whom I haven't even really talked to that often yet.
2 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109845)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Mar 18
You are a male. That makes you a buck. Therefore you are a deer.
7 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (50139)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
9 Mar 18
Oh, dear... can I call you Honey, instead? 
4 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78856)
• East Tawas, Michigan
10 Mar 18
@JolietJake 'Buttercup', is more fitting for you
or maybe 'Dimple-cheeks!'
or maybe 'Dimple-cheeks!'1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78856)
• East Tawas, Michigan
10 Mar 18
@hereandthere It all tastes great between two slices of bread, heavy on the mayo:)
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
9 Mar 18
You Echo my thoughts exactly on this. Today in the supermarket I was at the Checkout. The woman called me dear. I felt like hitting her. Apart from anything else she failed to hear anything I had said including that I didn't want another bag for which she of course charged me. I keep on telling people I am not darling oh dear. What happened to sir and madam which is what I was taught to call people when working in a shop?
4 people like this
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
9 Mar 18
@JolietJake sometimes you wonder if people are being condescending. I wonder if I just look like a little old lady before my timem
4 people like this
@JolietJake (50190)
•
9 Mar 18
There are very few specific incidents in which I feel it is permissible. The worst problem with it online is you never know exactly how it is intended since you can't hear any vocal inflection.
3 people like this
@JolietJake (50190)
•
9 Mar 18
But that is people you know already. I keep getting it from people that I have never had any interaction with.
4 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
9 Mar 18
Oh crap!!!! Sooooo, my references of Sugar Buns, Sweet Potato, Honey Bear are out the door @JolietJake ?
3 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
10 Mar 18
@JolietJake Oh well dang. I promise to behave myself.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78856)
• East Tawas, Michigan
10 Mar 18
@nanette64 Your nose is growing again, Pinocchio!
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78856)
• East Tawas, Michigan
9 Mar 18
@JolietJake Maybe 'lamby-cakes' is a bit more appropriate
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21742)
• Canada
9 Mar 18
I hear you. I tolerate it.....but underneath it grates....kinda like fingernails on chalkboard....
That said, I had a neighbour who had an unusual name....Honey. I can imagine what strangers thought when we called her by name,
2 people like this
@JESSY3236 (20819)
• United States
9 Mar 18
lol I don't mind being called dear. But yes I can understand that since you are a man. I don't like being called young.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (118737)
• Anniston, Alabama
9 Mar 18
I just laughed so hard I think I peed myself. Yes a man saying dear to another man, unless he swings that way, is not liked.
I think its demeaning for people/ women/ young people, cashiers/ all people to say " sweetie to me" I had a tenant that said that, in the end she f`ed me over but she did not know how her sweetie F`ed her back just by making a few phone calls.
I am no ones sweetie either. 
I think its demeaning for people/ women/ young people, cashiers/ all people to say " sweetie to me" I had a tenant that said that, in the end she f`ed me over but she did not know how her sweetie F`ed her back just by making a few phone calls.
I am no ones sweetie either. 2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
10 Mar 18
I think dear is en enderment meant for those persons who knows it's other well and close to each other.
Actually, i would call a sales lady darling , in a way like it is a substitute for Miss with a touch of asking for a favor.
For men, Icall them Sir.
Would you get offeñded when i call you Sir? 
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (125187)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Mar 18
Dear lord, quit your bich-in cupcake, before you get your panties all up in a wad. LOL
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (125187)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Mar 18
@JolietJake You mean you didn't like getting them all up in a wad? haha
1 person likes this
