I have your back mylot friends and members
@shaggin (74987)
United States
November 22, 2018 10:07pm CST
I've been meaning to write this for a few weeks now and finally decided to sit down and do it.
When I was younger I had a male friend I would chat with online. One day he told me that I never have anything nice to say about anyone. I told him of course I do and said some nice things about a few people.
But what he said got me thinking and I started paying close attention to the things I said about people. It showed me that he was right! A lot of the things I said were negative.
This is how my mother was and is and I realized I had learned that behavior from living with her and didn't even realize I was acting the same way. I noticed a few years ago my niece who lives with my mother is acting the same way.
So once I realized my friend was right that was a big changing point in my life. I started trying to think positively and if I thought someone bad about someone I would say to myself that wasn't nice and come up with something nice to say about them.
It has worked well in changing how I think. I try now to always see the good in everyone.
On Facebook there are people just looking for something to argue about. They lurk reading people's posts until they finally come up with something snarky to say to them. That's when I jump in and stick up for the person being put down.
I have started paying attention to the comments mylot members say and have noticed snarky comments. I don't like people being rude or unkind so if I see this I will be saying something about it. I don't want mylot to turn into a place where people don't feel welcome. We all just want to come here and have a nice time!
My daughter just got an award which is voted by the teachers. The award was a character award. While one student got the highest gpa award my daughter was the runner up for that. There were students who got sports awards but my daughter was the only one in her grade chosen for the character award.
I am hopeful that the way I raised her has a part in that. To always be kind to everyone even if you do not like them because you never know what they are going through and how they feel and to try to put herself in their shoes.
So if you ever see me being mean or rude on here please point it out to me just like my friend did to me all those years ago.
16 people like this
17 responses
@changjiangzhibin89 (17243)
• China
28 Nov 18
Your daughter is a student of good character and fine scholarship ! Liviing with you makes who she is.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
28 Nov 18
@changjiangzhibin89 she is a pretty great kid I will take a little credit but not all. Thank you very much 
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (17243)
• China
29 Nov 18
@shaggin You are welcome ! Anyway she lives up to your expectations .
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
29 Nov 18
@changjiangzhibin89 she far exceeds them
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502696)
• Italy
23 Nov 18
I have never seen anything rude said by you here, you are a very nice myLotter and I always like to read your posts and your comments. Congratulations to your daughter, I am so glad she god this award, this proves that you grew her up the right way.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
23 Nov 18
@LadyDuck I am sure it is her personality too but I do hope that the way I raised her has helped form her a little into that kind person. I know my mother taught me things and I rebelled against them so I don't blame the parents for everything so I also don't want to take credit for everything either.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
24 Nov 18
@playertwo I think so although she doesn't want to go to college I am hoping she will get a scholarship and change her mind!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
3 Dec 18
You're one of the nicest people here.
Congratulations to your daughter. And you.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
3 Dec 18
@Courtlynn aww thank you that makes me really happy to hear.
There are people here will read an entire long post then just say one rude thing instead of anything nice about the rest of the post! I see that happen a lot at Facebook and I just stay off Facebook for the rest of the day after that. I don't like seeing that here at mylot!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
3 Dec 18
@Courtlynn that is something that bothers me a lot. We want to relax and enjoy ourselves here. If we get treated bad and decide we don't want to keep coming here that is bad for mylot.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
3 Dec 18
@shaggin It should make you feel good, cause it's the truth.
There are definitely people who do that here, even people who do worse by bullying others. Part of why myself and many others don't come on as much as we use to.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
23 Nov 18
@shaggin
You have always been nice to me. I have no complaints. Living with other can influence our moods and how we respond to people and I am so glad you realized that you wanted to set an example for your daughter. I wanted to have children so I could give them the love I never had. I was not lucky having human ones. I had animals instead and loved them with all my heart.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
23 Nov 18
@Hannihar you have always been so kind to me as well I am so sorry you were unable to have children 
There are so many people out there who would give anything to have a baby and then there are others who harm their children and don't want them. That is one thing so unfair in life!
I am so sorry you were unable to have children There are so many people out there who would give anything to have a baby and then there are others who harm their children and don't want them. That is one thing so unfair in life!1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (209080)
• United States
23 Nov 18
That was very astute of you to realize that and change. It will help your children in the long run..as well.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
24 Nov 18
@snowy22315 I often think what I would be like if he hadn't said that to me. He always had a way of making me think and I love that about some people.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (209080)
• United States
24 Nov 18
@shaggin I think somebody saying that to me, would probably make me take a look at myself as well. I am glad he did. There is enough negativity in the world.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23660)
•
25 Nov 18
Congrats to your daughter. You are a good mother.. Honestly, I used to be like that , my mom was too.. but then I guess I realized that I did the same things I hated in my mom and changed for the better.. I am really thankful for having that kind of personal awareness.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
25 Nov 18
@sofssu thank you very much! I was so used to my mother’s attitude that I never thought anything of it. I am so glad my friend pointed it out to me how negative I was because I may never have changed if he hadn’t. I am glad you saw you didn’t want to be like your mother and changed as well!
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (54720)
• United States
24 Nov 18
I too would want someone to bring it to my attention if I was less then kind
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
25 Nov 18
@Tampa_girl7 some people get mad over it but I view it as constructive criticism.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
25 Nov 18
I don't remember seeing you mean or rude. My mother was a great mom and taught us to be positive and that certainly makes life happier. My dad's favorite phrase was if you can't say something good, don't say anything at all....
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
25 Nov 18
@PainsOnSlate having positive family members around you can make a big difference in our attitudes. I am glad your parents were such good role models. I am pretty sure my mother taught me that phrase as well about not having anything nice to say but she didn’t practice what she preached so that did not set a good example for us. I do say that phrase to my kids and for the most part they are very kind kids.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
26 Nov 18
@shaggin be grateful you have good kids, mine are grown and I love to have them visit when they can.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
25 Nov 18
That is a great reward that your daughter got and I'm sure her upbringing had much to do with it.
Fortunately, I don't see a lot rudeness here on myLot.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
26 Nov 18
@JamesHxstatic I think how I have raised her plays a good part in it but she is a wonderful kid all on her own.
I don't see rudeness much either I think we have a nice bunch of people here. I usually don't read through the comments people write on others posts but I will be reading through more of them now to see if there is anyone being rude that could use a reminder to be nice.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
23 Nov 18
I am sure I have my days but I try to be nice to everyone too but some people its hard to be nice to because they will run over you, they see it as a weakness in me.
Some men I have just had to tell them to F off, then I would add just because I am nice to you does not mean I want you!
The old crazy ladies, HARD! Because one will repeat it over and over, most people would be good enough to take me, but taking them is not the problem they want me in the store with them hunting down their list of junk. No, that is what adult services is for.
Ohh, and no you have not been mean or rude to me.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
24 Nov 18
@AndriaPerry if someone irks me here I just unfollow them and no longer read their posts so I won't be interacting with them unless they comment on my posts. I have only blocked one person here so far and that was a few years ago. For the most part mylot is a really nice group of people.
I know what you are saying about men in real life. I am nice to everyone so sometimes they take it as being interested when I am not. I am pretty upfront about things if I want a guy they will have no trouble figuring it out so if I don't come right out and tell them then I absolutely do not want them lol.
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
23 Nov 18
@Sojourn Its not to bad here. Most of the time I just don`t answer them and they go away.
1 person likes this
@thedevilinme (5216)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 18
When yo go past 40 you get cynical. That comes from experience.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
24 Nov 18
Well I was early adulthood when my friend said this to me. I am 35 now and I think I have gotten kinder as I have grown older.
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
24 Nov 18
@BarBaraPrz thank you. I think some people are afraid to speak up and get involved but I have to stick up for people who are being treated bad or it weighs on my conscience.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382374)
• Rockingham, Australia
23 Nov 18
Well done for changing your attitude and not being too blind to see that your friend at least had a point. I never hear you say anything bad about people and you are very loyal and supportive of your boyfriend and even I have said not-so-nice things about him! 
And that is absolutely the best award your daughter could ever win.
And that is absolutely the best award your daughter could ever win.1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
25 Nov 18
@JudyEv I am thankful he said that to me all those years ago as it made such a difference in my life. I have a hard time being around my mom and am glad I am not longer like that. Being around people who are negative all the time can weigh you down. The part about my boyfriend made me laugh out loud. I remember years ago someone here calling him Elmer Fudd.
1 person likes this
