I knew about it
@GardenGerty (169568)
United States
August 26, 2019 9:16pm CST
My friend/co worker was in an abusive relationship. She was "getting her ducks in a row" to leave her husband. She had papers served last week and moved to another town.
She and her son used to ride the bus to school. She was paid to supervise our kids from our classes. Since she no longer lives in our town she cannot do that. I will ride the bus from now on.
It saves me a little bit of money and means I do not have to worry about car trouble.
I was pretty certain that when they asked me to be on the bus for two days it would end up like this and I had planned for it.
I just could not say anything.
For those who do not know a lot of American idioms "getting your ducks in a row" means that you have gotten things in order. My friend made sure she had legal things tied up as well as having a place to live and a car to drive.
It is time for bed now. I mowed a little before we ate this evening.
15 people like this
18 responses
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
27 Aug 19
Been there and done that. I am glad she got out.
I am getting my ducks in a row now but not for escaping an abusive relationship, but to make sure I won`t have to dal with abuse, othan later.
Yes you will save money but do you like the bus ride?
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
It is not a bad thing. I know I will not have to scrape my windows and thaw my car in the winter and that is awesome. I do not have to deal with the crazy drivers. The kids on the bus are fifth grade and younger and really pretty good, so far.
@lovebuglena (52208)
• Staten Island, New York
27 Aug 19
Not everyone has the courage to leave an abusive relationship - whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological. Good that she was able to move on from that.
3 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (17243)
• China
27 Aug 19
I find the idiom in my dictionary.Hope your co worker will get rid of the blight that the the failure of marriage casts and start a new life!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
You are always inspiring us to learn new things and look things up. She will be better off in the future.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
20 Nov 19
@changjiangzhibin89 Thanks, I am glad we learn from each other.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (17243)
• China
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty Thank you ! I Keep dictionaries handy here on Mylot.I have learnt a lot from your posts.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (86855)
• United States
27 Aug 19
I’m thankful she left the abuse, and I pray he doesn’t go looking for her.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
She is living with another woman, borrowing and buying a car from her. She goes home and parks inside a garage, and as far as she knows the guy does not know where she is.
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (17038)
• United States
27 Aug 19
I am glad you friend got her ducks in a row. I pray she and her son can have some peace in their lives now. Sadly a lady got a restraining order for her ex husband but it didn't save her or their two children. He and his 16 year old murdered all three of them. Currently both are sitting in our county jail waiting for their trial dates to be set. Our community has had a horrible increase in murders this year for some unknown reason, to date we are at 10. It was 17 years after I moved here before we had our first murder. I've been here for 30 years.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
He will not be outright violent. It is important that everyone think he is a nice and wonderful man. He was verbally and mentally and emotionally abusive and was in my opinion mishandling funds.
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (17038)
• United States
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty Any sort of abuse is ugly. In my opinion, verbal, metal and emotional abuse may be more vile than physical because the perpetrator can be like a chameleon, changing personality with the surroundings. My mother was like that a lot.
1 person likes this
@oahuwriter (26773)
• United States
27 Aug 19
It's always safer to be prepared for everything and getting your ducks in a row is very good. Hope your friend gets help and protection she needs for herself and son. Some shows I've seen, though fiction shows the husband of abusive relationships go after the wife when she leaves him. I don't know if it applies to your friend, but being with a group or some kind of club, so she can get help and protection if she needs it is a good idea I think. I don't know much about it, but found this site:
National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/ an advocate on our website.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
He is not likely to be physically abusive. He wants the community to think he is a good person. The abuse was emotional, verbal, mental and financial. She has good friends. At work at school she is safe, we have good security measures and watching eyes. When she leaves she can go out a back door to a safe parking lot. When she arrives where she is staying she can put her car in a garage and go inside.
1 person likes this
@oahuwriter (26773)
• United States
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty
That's good, for most shows I see that the abuser will hunt for the abused and usually want to take them back home with them.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
27 Aug 19
She did very well. I had nothing planned as the situation was so severe but get away I did. Amen.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
Seeing other people in abusive relationships made me certain not to marry into one.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
27 Aug 19
i'm so glad yer friend/co-worker 'twas able to get 'way from that, hon. particularly with havin' a young'un 'nvolved, too. 'tis a shame they can no loner ride the bus. i hope she remains safe'n the new town. some 'f those fella's 've no regards fer restrainin' orders, not worth the paper printed 'pon :(
yes ma'am, ya gettin' that job'll sure help with some 'xpenses 'n worries.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
His abuse was emotional and verbal. He also kept her financially dependent. They were riding the bus because they lived in this town. Now they live close to school.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty bless her'n her son. i'm so relieved she made 't 'way from him finally. show's she's great strength, despite his 'fforts.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
Yes, and she planned well to do it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
I think she will be safe. His abuse was verbal, emotional and financial for the most part. He did "accidentally" hurt her one day about a week ago. She actually had recordings of his abuse toward her and her adopted son.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382440)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty If he 'accidentally' hurt her once, then probably it would escalate from there.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
20 Nov 19
Yes. There are still court proceedings, and they say he is in counseling and on medication and wants to "work it out". She will do what it takes to protect her son.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
27 Aug 19
@GardenGerty
I hope it all works out for your friend. Unless people have been in an abusive relationship they do not understand. i was also in one and it took me 4 years to get a divorce.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
My sister stayed in one over twenty five years. I was on the outside looking in. I do not think I would be in a situation, but you never know. Getting away is hard work.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty
It is very hard to get out of them. If you have not been in one you cannot understand how they feel and how hard it is to get out of one. I am glad your sister got out. Yes, we have many here that still cannot get a divorce and the husbands try to bribe them and still it takes a hard time to get out of a marriage here for many women.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
27 Aug 19
Am I understanding this correctly, then. The bus driver will pick you up at your house and then drop you off as well?
This bus is only for those students with special needs?
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
We are in a consolidated school district. All the children in our community travel ten miles to school. They meet at a central location. Some of the students who ride need to have "attendant care" on the bus due to some behavior and health issues. I will go to the same central location as the kids and get on the bus.
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
Yes, that saves some worries if a car has problems. Just think, I will not have to scrape the windows or warm up my vehicle, either.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (54730)
• United States
30 Aug 19
@GardenGerty you really lucked out.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
The days are good. Each one is different.
1 person likes this
@freelancermariagrace (29342)
• Philippines
27 Aug 19
Glad to know that she’s out of that abusive relationship.
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
30 Aug 19
Yes, it is still a long process but she is safe and happy.
