Here's what to do if you DON'T want a girlfriend

United States
October 9, 2019 3:20pm CST
I am not a young lady. Some might still consider me young based on their own age, but I do not think I am young anymore. I guess I should not expect the men around my age to be more mature, but I do. I fall on and off the dating bandwagon. I've been married once and I know from that relationship what I do and don't want. However, this discussion has nothing to do with any of that. I can not tell you how many guys over the past few years have said something along the lines of "I'll let you go(as in off the phone / off the text message convo etc) if you send me a cute picture." That's almost verbatim of what a guy said to me last night. Needless to say I didn't reply to him and I won't talk to him anymore. Men, we don't owe you anything. I should not have to feel obligated to send you a picture of myself, cute or otherwise, if I just don't want to. I shouldn't have to feel as if I don't send you a picture you won't talk to me. Here's a newsflash, I don't care! I don't need to talk to a man who thinks that I owe him something only five minutes after starting a conversation with him. It's not cute to give a woman an ultimatum. Guys, If you REALLY want a girlfriend? Remember she doesn't owe you anything. Rant Over.
17 people like this
16 responses
@Marty1 (49748)
• Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
10 Oct
that guy sounds terrible. i never had a desire to have a relationship, no time to play the games men want to play
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct
From my experience, men say they don't like girls that play games and they end up being the ones that play the games .
1 person likes this
@Marty1 (49748)
• Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
10 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum i can believe it, but never had a boyfriend or have even been on a date. i already told my sister my nephew can' t date until i die even though i have another 40-50 years
• United States
10 Oct
@Marty1 I started dating in high school but didn't seriously date until I was in my 20s. My nephew isn't even interested in dating and he's 19.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (246212)
• Switzerland
10 Oct
I absolutely agree, there are still too many "cave men" in this world.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct
Yes, there are. I was thinking that i didn't have this much trouble when I met my ex husband. Of course we met through a friend which probably made all the difference.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (246212)
• Switzerland
10 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum I met my husband in the office where I worked. I started going out with him several months after we met.
• United States
10 Oct
@LadyDuck I remember you telling me of this. I never wanted to date any of the men I worked with but then I was not very interested in any of them anyway.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (123449)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Oct
Go girl! I gave up on guy in 2010. I did give it the all-American try. No, we don't owe them a thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Oct
I've had several years where I've given up on them but I haven't ultimately given up on them for good yet. That may happen in the future with the set of guys that are out there nowadays.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (123449)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum .......I have to agree with that. Most of them are selfish and out of touch with reality.
@Starmaiden (7976)
• Canada
9 Oct
Here here!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Oct
Dating is no game, but some of these people seem to think it is!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (90615)
• Canada
9 Oct
Right on sista. I had the same thing happen to me a number of times before I met my fiance. Some guys think you owe them because they talk to you. Losers and then they wonder why they are still single.
• United States
9 Oct
I've had pics I did not want sent to me, I've had a guy get mad because I wouldn't send him pics and call me all sorts of names. I had a guy say "It's a shame you aren't Christian. You are so pretty and I'd love to date you." Like wow dude and you wonder why you are still single.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (90615)
• Canada
9 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum exactly...some guys are just clueless or they think they are gods gift to women.
• United States
9 Oct
@Happy2BeMe Exactly! When that can't be farther from the truth. Women can do without men. It's the men (or atleast a lot of them) that can't do without women!
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (27549)
• Denmark
9 Oct
I am married, but if I was looking for a relationship and someone said that to me I would end the conversation. I wouldn't even reply. Before I met my husband I had the opposite problem - I received photos that I wasn't the least bit interested in. One of the men wrote: "Why won't you talk to me anymore? It is because of the photo? I am sorry" but I wasn't interested in him, he seemed a bit strange (not just because of the photos)
• United States
10 Oct
I've received photos I didn't want, and I had a guy who asked me why I wasn't talking to him anymore. I do not talk to the guy who asked me for a photo the day before yesterday either. He has tried to message me but I just haven't replied. I was married once as well and it is like the dating scene is vastly different than what it was then.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (27549)
• Denmark
10 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum I would do the same. Ignoring him sounds like the best option. I joined a couple of dating sites when my ex and I broke up (before I met my husband) but I didn't like the men I met through that site. I was a bit afraid of one of them, and I definitely didn't want to meet him again. Later I met my husband online, but not on a dating site.
• United States
10 Oct
@Porcospino Yes, the men on dating sites can be scary. My last boyfriend was from a dating site and while he wasn't scary our views were too drastically different. I didn't like how close minded he was.
1 person likes this
@cperry2 (2560)
• United States
14 Oct
You are exactly right. All men and women for that matter should remember none of us are placed here to meet the needs of someone else. We are here to live a life of our own. If somehow in the interim we meet great, lets see how things work from there. But making demands, (even for a photo) after five minutes??? I would have dropped the conversation too. So AmberLynn, if instead of making this a condition for ending a conversation the person had instead said, "Hey AmberLynn, you sound interesting, would you be willing to send me a photo so I can see who I am talking to?" How would you have responded?
• United States
14 Oct
I should clarify that the site I was using.. I had a few photos up already. I had about four and they are all fairly recent. I chose to ignore the man because there was no need for a photo.
1 person likes this
@cperry2 (2560)
• United States
14 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum I agree. There was no need for more and his statement was out of line. I was just curious because I did not know photos were already up.
• United States
14 Oct
@cperry2 That's fine. Unfortunately I've had guys ask for more photos in the past. The majority of them aren't as rude as this guy was.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (64334)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct
I agree with you. We don’t owe them anything. If the guy really likes us, then they should earn our trust.
• United States
9 Oct
I agree with that! Yes, they need to earn our trust and if they are genuine men who want a relationship, they'll be patient and do what they can to earn our trust.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (64334)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum Exactly. Guys who thinks we owe them are not serious at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Oct
@JustBhem Yes! I agree! I do not waste my time with these types of guys.
1 person likes this
@Alexandoy (4144)
• Quezon City, Philippines
9 Oct
For me, a relationship is a give-and-take affair.
• United States
9 Oct
I agree with you there. I believe in the give and take, but what I refer to is a man who I had only begun to talk to earlier that day.
1 person likes this
@Alexandoy (4144)
• Quezon City, Philippines
9 Oct
Talking to a man you haven't met? Pardon me but that doesn't sound good.
• United States
10 Oct
@Alexandoy I'm not sure why you think it doesn't sound good. Everyone in their lives has at one time talked to a person they've not met.
@moonandstars (24045)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
10 Oct
So on the point. I also faced those messages. Like, they seem cute but, they are not. If he doesn't want to meet in a real life, what's the need of the photo. Awful. You said the truth, thank you! P.s. I think you're young as well but, I also feel sometimes older cause, mindsets had changed while I'm still in my own mindset, where values and good manners matter.
• United States
10 Oct
You and I are the same age actually.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
12 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum We are though, I tend to be immature in love cause, I hate how guys are acting today.
@snowy22315 (76407)
• United States
9 Oct
Absolutely! Also they don't owe you anything either other than perhaps honesty. I thought you were dating someone? I guess it didnt work out.
• United States
9 Oct
We dated from April until around the end of August I think, maybe the beginning of September. He stopped texting me as much or calling me. I asked him one day through text to call me and he shoots off with a "I think we should take a break" text. I told him that he could keep the stuff I had at his house and that we were done. I don't understand why guys can't man up and call you instead of texting when breaking up.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (76407)
• United States
10 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum cuz they are chicken..at least he didn't ghost you..that really sucks
@nela13 (24045)
• Portugal
11 Oct
There are so many trolls out there
• United States
11 Oct
Yep, too many of them!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Oct
I think the guy's full of himself demanding like that. Better ignore people like that or they're gonna make you do things you'd regret. Who knows what the guy might do to your picture.
• United States
10 Oct
Yes, exactly. Even though the request wasn't more demanding, I'm not going to let some guy that I do not know have a picture of me at all. It reminds me why I spend a lot of time talking to a guy online before I give him my phone number.
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
Wow I have never had a guy tell me that I was chatting with. I have had some really awful dating experiences and I feel for anyone single in this crazy era. Dating now a days is putting up with so much craziness.
• United States
10 Oct
It really is, or just the messages you get on these dating sites. I met my ex husband through a friend but that's not something I want to do again. In any case, the dating site people can be just crazy. I've gotten messages with propositions in them such as me being a third in the relationship.
1 person likes this
@Ladanger (12050)
• United States
9 Oct
Girl Power lol. I know what you mean. Guys be like... give me your snapchat. Send me a picture of you . This one guy was like "you never want to video chat with me". I was like you act like you want something serious with me he just wants to fool around. The fact that he mentioned that i don't make any "effort". Effort to what? Lol. I only make effort for a man who actually wants to have a relationship and is getting to know me because that is his intention.
• United States
9 Oct
Exactly! I am not going to make an effort for a man who isn't going to make an effort for me. I had one guy tell me once that "It's a shame you aren't Christian because you are cute!" I honestly felt bad for him because his profile said something along the lines of "If you aren't Christian don't bother messaging me." This wasn't a Christian dating site either. Think he would have had a better chance if he went on one of those. I've also had a guy get mad at me because "I wasted his time." He and I chatted off and on for a few hours and then he wanted a picture of me. I told him no.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (68565)
• United States
9 Oct
I agree!
• United States
9 Oct
Amazing how dating has changed in the past decade or so. Getting my ex husband wasn't even this hard, though we met through a mutual friend.
1 person likes this