Should a wife pick out clothes for her husband?
By Lena Kovadlo
@lovebuglena (52201)
Staten Island, New York
February 10, 2020 6:56pm CST
My MIL told me that when we go out to someone's gathering at a restaurant my husband dresses terribly. She criticized what he wears to work. And then she said the words "like a bum". After that she told me that I should always pick out things for my husband to wear.
What she said is not true. When we go out to a restaurant hubby wears dress pants and a button down shirt. When the gathering is at someone's house he will wear jeans and a t-shirt or a sweater, which I see nothing wrong with. If you go to someone's house why the heck should you wear dress pants and a dress shirt? And how is wearing jeans and a t-shirt or sweater being dressed like a bum? Unless she meant he dresses like a bum for work... His outfit is khakis and a black polo with his dealership logo on it. It may not be the most appealing outfit but that's what they have to wear. It's not his choice.
Now my husband is a grown adult. He can pick out his outfits himself. He doesn't need me to do that for him. And I should not dictate what he should wear. It is his choice. I can suggest something but in the end it should be up to him.
Just because she always picks outfits for her husband to wear when they go out doesn't mean that's the way it should be done or the way I should do it.
12 people like this
13 responses
@moffittjc (128837)
• Gainesville, Florida
11 Feb 20
Some guys have great taste in clothes, some don't. But those that don't may be totally happy or comfortable in the clothes they choose to wear. Like you said, they're grown men, so they can pick what they want to wear. There are times when I will ask my girlfriend for advice on what to wear, but most of the time it's just affirmation for an outfit I have already chosen myself. Or, sometimes, I will ask her to pick me out a shirt that she thinks best matches the outfit she's wearing. But at the end of the day, I still make my own decisions.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128837)
• Gainesville, Florida
13 Feb 20
@lovebuglena Are you sure you're a woman? I've never heard a married woman say that about how her man dresses! LOL
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
13 Feb 20
@moffittjc I guess I am the first. 
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
As it should be. A man should wear what he wants to wear and the wife should respect that. Unless he really dresses like a bum for an occasion, which should not be done. Also people should dress for themselves and not to please others or because of what other will think.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
As he should. When we go out to eat somewhere hubby may ask me if I know the dress code. Sometimes he may ask me what to wear. But he always has the final say in what he will put on.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
@DianneN It's only a little kid that should be told what to wear. And even then she/he should be asked if she/he is okay with wearing what was picked out. Don't want them to feel uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
@Alexandoy (65302)
• Cainta, Philippines
11 Feb 20
I have to agree with you because your husband is not a boy anymore.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
And it's not like he has no sense of style.
@Alexandoy (65302)
• Cainta, Philippines
11 Feb 20
@lovebuglena maybe his mother is just choosy with clothes.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
What he wears to work is not his choice. And going to someone's house should not require a dress shirt and pants.
@JESSY3236 (22244)
• United States
11 Feb 20
I'm not married, but I wouldn't pick out clothes for Chris to wear.
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (22244)
• United States
12 Feb 20
@lovebuglena I doubt he would, but if he did I would help him.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
What if he asked you to do it?
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
This is not about shopping for clothes but picking out an outfit to wear from what you have at home.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
@amitkokiladitya There isn't. But a man should be able to dress himself.
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
11 Feb 20
@lovebuglena it's ok. There are many who don't like to shop. And the family members do that for them. There isn't anything wrong in this.
@porwest (112864)
• United States
16 Feb 20
I usually pick out my own clothes, but sometimes the wife makes certain "hard" suggestions which sometimes I will follow. lol. Some people are not going to like the style someone else chooses no matter what. So at the end of the day I say dress how you want. If other people don't like it so be it.
I ONLY complain when I see people out in public wearing pajamas. Really people?
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
17 Feb 20
You gotta dress for yourself not for someone else... I don't really care what others will think about what I am wearing. Hubby probably doesn't either. Yesterday, we went to my cousin's birthday celebration at a restaurant. He dressed nicely but he wore a suede coat that had no buttons on it (he lost them a long tie ago) and looked worn out and like it was time to donate it. I told him that and his reply was no way is he getting rid of it.
Oh and I saw a guy yesterday walking out of his house wearing shorts, slippers and a very puffy down jacket. Not sure if he just went out to get the mail kinda thing or if he actually was going somewhere wearing that. That is weird. I've also seen people in fur coats wearing flip flops, which makes no sense to me whatsoever.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
18 Feb 20
@porwest It's not a sport coat. Not sure how to translate what the coat is called from Russian to English.
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@porwest (112864)
• United States
18 Feb 20
@lovebuglena I am the same way. I wear what's comfortable. But I'd have to agree about the sport coat, EXCEPT, why not just sew some new buttons onto it? In any event, we do see some pretty strange things, and someone in a fur coat and flip flops sounds totally ridiculous to me. 
. Hubby will ask my opinion - but in the end it's his choice what to wear.@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb 20
@lovebuglena Yep - he's not a little boy who can't dress himself. Picking out clothes for him would totally be controlling.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
A husband is his own person. He cannot be controlled. And telling him what he must wear is kinda like controlling him.
1 person likes this
@louievill (28846)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
" Should a wife pick out clothes for her husband? " Only when the husband is blind or mentally incapacitated, my point is NO although wife could should feel free to give suggestions.
@louievill (28846)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
@lovebuglena correct but I would assume your husband knows all about dress code. When a person insists or chooses what another person should wear or buy, that violates his right to the freedom of choice and the right to the freedom of self expression, the way a person dresses is self expression so long as it does not violate any laws.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
13 Feb 20
@louievill Of course, you gotta follow the dress code.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
Suggesting is good but saying "no you can't wear that!" when the husband got dressed or was about to get dressed is a no-no. Unless what he chose goes against the dress code of where the couple is going to. Like if the restaurant is formal but the husband put on jeans and a sweater that will not work, no matter how stylish the jeans and sweater are.
@LadyDuck (502655)
• Italy
12 Feb 20
@lovebuglena This is why I check my husband before we go out. I know that some of our friends like to dress when they host a party and they appreciate if people do not dress casual. I like to dress up and my husband likes too, he has the habit, a wore a suit with a tie during all the years he worked.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
If a place is dressy people should definitely dress up or they will feel out of place there. I remember one year for Valentines Day hubby surprised me with dinner at a fancy place. He did not tell me it would be a fancy place or how people would be dressed there. I had on pants and a sweater and he was wearing the same thing as me. Everyone else was dressed finely. Men were in suits, if not tuxes. Women were in long dresses or gowns. I felt very out of place, even though what I wore looked nice. And he felt out of place as well.
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@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
I don't remember. But I did say that what he wears to work is what he is told to wear. They have a dress code and he has to adhere to it. I am not sure though if he chose khakis in place of dress pants or if he has to wear khakis. But those polos are a must!
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
My mom sometimes tells my dad what to wear because she doesn't like what he puts on but that does not happen all the time.
@lovebuglena (52201)
• Staten Island, New York
11 Feb 20
That's the way it should be. He should wear what he wants to wear. Unless it looks terrible.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222624)
• United States
11 Feb 20
The hubs might ask my opinion; but he usually chooses his own clothes.
