A slightly awkward moment yesterday.
By The Horse
@TheHorse (238325)
Walnut Creek, California
February 23, 2020 11:46am CST
I was over at my friend Lauren's house yesterday, restoring a Danish Modern teak coffee table for her. The table is actually her sister's (it came from her sister's husband's family, I believe). They are selling their their fancy home in Oakland, and the realtor wanted this table to be a part of the "showing."
Once the table was done, Lauren sent some pictures to her sister, who was excited about how good it looked. Cool. But as I was leaving, she took out her checkbook and asked how much she owed me.
I got a tiny bit flustered and said, Let's deal with that later. I have a hard time accepting money for work done for friends. I would normally charge $100 for a restoration like this, but...you see the issue.
But "kindness" isn't always kindness. If I never ask Lauren for payment, she might feel uncomfortable, or like she "owes" me. And I don't want that to be the case.
What I'll probably do is accept $40 and then take her out for Thai with the money.
What would you do in this situation?
12 people like this
11 responses
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
23 Feb 20
You are right about 'kindness not being always kindness'. Actually, it is hard to decide how to handle it. Depending on how good a friend Lauren is would determine what I'd do. The closer the friendship she would understand exactly how you felt.
@TheHorse (238325)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Feb 20
@GrannyGee I just enjoy having people around me feeling "comfortable."
1 person likes this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
23 Feb 20
@TheHorse That's great, I worried for you to make the right decision so, you would feel good inside. I care about things even when they have nothing to do with me. 
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222534)
• United States
23 Feb 20
I would charge what you feel is fair to a friend. You don't always want to make a habit of doing things free for friends...or do you? It could get out of hand and be sticky for both of you.
2 people like this
. In my case, all I needed was a final thank you 
and didn't get it.
I think what you did was cool - win/win for all 
.
@wolfgirl569 (135819)
• Marion, Ohio
23 Feb 20
What do you have in it in materials? That is all I usually ask from a friend.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (135819)
• Marion, Ohio
23 Feb 20
@TheHorse Tell her that would make you happy and go from there. Maybe suggest she treat you to dinner for the labor.
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
23 Feb 20
I love your solution. Yes, you do not want a friend to be beholden to you.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
23 Feb 20
That can be awkward at times. I think you've come up with a good solution to charge a small amount and take her to dinner.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52174)
• Staten Island, New York
24 Feb 20
Charge her for the work but maybe give her a discount as she is a friend. Or you can say you don't have to give me anything but if you insist I'll accept whatever you give. Something along those lines...
