Dumber Than The Police Permit (1)

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Before putting things into the washing machine I sometimes spray a liquid stain remover on them if need be. I used to have a certain brand, but last week I bought a different one. It's cheaper and I was glad to have found it. Why should I spend good money on a stain remover? Yet, I couldn't use it. It's in a plastic bottle on top of which is screwed a nozzle with a trigger. On one side of the nozzle stands 'open', on the opposite one 'closed'. The idea is to turn the nozzle to 'open', then pull the trigger and spray the liquid on the stain. I turned the nozzle to 'open' and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. I tried it many times, always in vain. Obviously, I squeezed out some drops because the nozzle became moist. But that wasn't as it should be. I looked at the work-shy bottle for some days and then decided to take it back to the supermarket where I had bought it. The woman responsible for this branch hardly heard me out. She said at once, "No problem. We'll take it back." She told the shop-assistant at the till to look out for me when I'd come back with my trolley. The stain-remover would already be paid for. I returned to the till with a different bottle. The first thing that saved me was that I didn't try to operate it. I handed it to the shop-assistant and said, "You check this bottle, please. I'll only take it if it works properly." She turned the nozzle to 'open'. Nothing happened. She looked closely at it and then *opened a small kind of door covering the opening*! I hadn't noticed it! I'm usually very observant and only last month I got new glasses. How could I not have noticed this? The second thing that saved me was that I didn't say anything. I have no explanation why I kept schtum**. I often exchange a sentence or two with the shop-assistants. They know me by sight because the supermarket is small and I go there several times a week. I'm surprised that an "Oh, I hadn't seen that." didn't escape my mouth. The woman would have considered me a Vollidiot (full idiot) and rightfully so. I thanked her and slunk home to lick my wound and recover from the shock. --- * This is what Germans say when someone does something really stupid. --- **From the net, "This probably derives from the German word stumm meaning silent. The phrase 'keep schtum' (variously spelled 'keep stumm', 'keep shtoom', 'keep schtum' etc.) is British and fairly recent. It has the sound of a Yiddish phrase but it is more likely that it originated in the UK criminal community." ======== You can find the other instalment when you click on the green bar at the top of the site.