A piano student who made me slightly sad yesterday.
By The Horse
@TheHorse (205767)
Walnut Creek, California
April 14, 2021 11:02am CST
I had a new piano student yesterday who made me a touch sad. He was a seven year-old blonde boy who loves pianos.
His mom or grandpa was/were in the room as I "taught him." He banged randomly at the piano with his two index fingers, made no eye contact with me, didn't respond to my questions, and was difficult to "corral."
His grandfather told me that he didn't read or do math, but he spoke clearly when he spoke. He also could find C on the piano and play Twinkle Twinke Little Star (approximately).
Mom and grandpa both told me that he has severe ADHD, but I think he is autistic. I am sad for two reasons: I could instruct this kid on piano if I lived in his house and just randomly played with him, modeling both improvisation and things like chords and scales. But perhaps not in weekly half-hour lessons. If his family is in denial of his autism, he might not get the services he needs as early as he needs.
I may add more to this post later. I have to head off to work. Your thoughts on ADHD and autism?
25 people like this
20 responses
@wolfgirl569 (95189)
• Marion, Ohio
15 Apr 21
That dont sound like ADHD at all. They are hyper on the go kids.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (95189)
• Marion, Ohio
15 Apr 21
@TheHorse He could have both. They need to have him fully checked out. But I know some of those things can be hard to figure out and even more so if more than one is present. After my SIL had her oldest boy put on medicine for ADHD I looked up the symptoms of it. My youngest boy fit that more than my nephew did. I raised him without meds by keeping set consistent rules and having rewards and punishments'. That was the first time I had even heard of it and some of the other stuff
1 person likes this
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Apr 21
I do think proper diagnosis and early intervention would be key to helping this child. Sometimes the guardians do not understand that the resources are out there, and that they have to reach out in order to get that help. They may be well meaning, but denial only causes delays.
1 person likes this
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@Tampa_girl7 (48958)
• United States
14 Apr 21
That is a very sad situation. I have a loved one who has ADHD and Asperger’s. They weren’t diagnosed as a child and have had a difficult journey in life.
2 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (79731)
• United States
14 Apr 21
I hope the mother and the grandfather listen and have him tested for autism. I'm really not in a position to offer advice since I haven't had anyone close to me with either ADHD or Autism.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (79731)
• United States
15 Apr 21
@TheHorse it's a fine line when you're the teacher and you can't cross it.
@prinzcy (32322)
• Malaysia
16 Apr 21
It seems family being in denial is a common issue. Even my parents took a while to accept that my younger brother is a slow learner. They said he was just had a late growth. Luckily when he entered the kindergarten, his teacher send my parents a letter, asking to take him to a doctor. Even after that, my aunt still couldn't accept it. She even took my younger brother to meet a shaman for treatment.
@RasmaSandra (73444)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 Apr 21
Makes for a very difficult and complicated life, I hope you can instruct him and perhaps that might help some to bring him out of himself,
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40523)
• United States
14 Apr 21
That's really sad. I hope the mom and grandfather will have him checked out and get the correct diagnosis.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54411)
• United States
15 Apr 21
i remember the Case Western University study from the 1990s (i was collecting data for group 1).
By default, we are all on the autism scale. All "hunting" animals are to a degree. It is the ability to hyperfocus on prey. that said, it is really sad. The family is trying to help the kid.
Once again a horse reason not to be a teacher!
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
15 Apr 21
Sometimes the disorders seem to go hand in hand. Denial does not help. I hope you get to help, in more than a piano way. I have worked with and around autistic people for a long time, and every one is different. Just as we are all different. Good luck.
@marguicha (215441)
• Chile
14 Apr 21
I had a child student with ADHD once. He was very depressed because his very intelligent dumb mother was always telling him that he was stupid. He was brought to me as the last chance to teach him to read. After some minutes, he started moving in the chair. I told him to get up, go to the kitchen and eat a banana and then run 5 times around my plum tree. Much against his mother´s will, I asked her to bring a tennis book with lots of pictures. She was against sports and said several awful things until I stopped her and told her that my husband had been a pro soccer player and was NOT dumb. Some people think that children must only learn quantic physics
The boy learned 
The boy learned 
@kaylachan (57687)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Apr 21
I think more awareness needs to be brought to both and people need to learn the signs. I know it would be hard, but why don't you try teaching him the way you would an autistic kid, or present the parents with information on autisim so he can possibly get the help he needs. All to often autisim gets misdiagnosed as ADHD or "behavioral issues" because parents don't know better and doctors, especially at that age, are quick to write it off.
@LindaOHio (156157)
• United States
15 Apr 21
That's very sad. I think he might have autism as well. You can't intercede which is frustrating. Wishing you both the best.
