Packing Leo’s Clothing

@RubyHawk (99425)

Atlanta, Georgia

October 4, 2021 6:09pm CST

I tried to submit a discussion earlier and the little black dots spun around and around but still didn’t submit. Maybe it will submit this time. Yesterday I went into Leo’s closet and packed his clothing. I didn’t know if I would be able to do it but I gritted my teeth and packed six large trash bags. His daughter came by for a visit and carried them to the thrift store on her way out. She has been so helpful. Without her and my two sons I don’t know what I’d do. They are my treasures. Now I must sort out the coat closet but it might be awhile before I can tackle that task. I want his clothing to be of use to someone. I don’t want to throw them away. Also I must still pack up his shoes. I can hardly bear to move his clothing out. It makes Leo’s death seem so final and there’s no turning back. It must be done.

22 people like this

19 responses

@Juliaacv (48447)

• Canada

4 Oct 21

I have heard people say that is the one of the hardest things to do and things to part with. My mother made a point of leaving my Dad's bedroom slippers beside his side of the bed, it brought her comfort, and it didn't do any harm and I actually told her what a great idea I thought it was.

5 people like this

@rebelann (111187)

• El Paso, Texas

4 Oct 21

Perhaps Leo is your guardian Angel now and you can talk to him for reassurance.

4 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

I do talk to Leo and my son every day. They are always in my heart.

4 people like this

@rebelann (111187)

• El Paso, Texas

5 Oct 21

Then surely both are watching over you.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

@rebelann I know they are.

2 people like this

@much2say (53958)

• Los Angeles, California

4 Oct 21

Many hugs out your way RubyHawk

. I remember when my parents had helped various relatives with "the clothes". It's good you have that help during this difficult time

.

3 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

It is good to have help. It’s much harder when you’re all by yourself.

1 person likes this

Lenore Plassman

@sallypup (57888)

• Centralia, Washington

4 Oct 21

Such a lonesome time for you. One of my regrets about the sister who cared for my Mom at the end was that I live too far away from her to help her do the great unpacking. I wish I could have been there.

3 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

I understand how you feel but sometimes as in your case it isn’t possible. I have regrets too.

3 people like this

@nela13 (55700)

• Portugal

5 Oct 21

I believe it is a very hard task, just do it as you feel you can, take your time. It is nice to have someone to help you.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

I probably won’t get to the coat closet for awhile. Yesterday just about did me in. But it will wait.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

6 Oct 21

@nela13 No. I don’t but I keep struggling on.

1 person likes this

@nela13 (55700)

• Portugal

6 Oct 21

@RubyHawk Do it as you feel your heart can handle.

2 people like this

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@DocAndersen (54411)

• United States

10 Oct 21

i am so sorry for your loss. But what a loving and beautiful tribute. Both to give the clothes so that others can use them, but in the act of packing and making sure they are not disposed of. so sorry.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

10 Oct 21

That’s what Leo would have wanted. He was a good kind man that would help anyone if possible. It gives me comfort to know that he’s still helping others even though he’s gone.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

10 Oct 21

@DocAndersen it’s a good thing she did but I felt I had to take care of it myself, it was the last thing I could do for him. I still haven’t gone through the cost closet. Today I went through his medical supplies. I had to put those in the trash. No one could or should use them,

1 person likes this

@DocAndersen (54411)

• United States

11 Oct 21

@RubyHawk i know, (I am looking at something from my father's office right now) that it was a chance for all of us to find and keep a piece of dad. it really helped!

1 person likes this

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@snowy22315 (169976)

• United States

5 Oct 21

Awww, Bless you. I know how hard that must be. I don't envy having to do that for my dad. My mother for sure wouldn't be able to handle it.

1 person likes this

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@snowy22315 (169976)

• United States

5 Oct 21

@RubyHawk Thanks, but I don't see her often. It's too far.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

@snowy22315 I can understand that.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

Its so hard but it must be done. Your moms lucky to have you

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@RebeccasFarm (86760)

• United States

5 Oct 21

You are doing some very hard work there Ruby. I know how this is..I still have some things of my Moms RIP I am so glad you have some help.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

8 Oct 21

I appreciate that his son and daughter and my sons are helping every way they can.

1 person likes this

Anne Marie Guyer

@LeaPea2417 (36442)

• Toccoa, Georgia

5 Oct 21

I must have missed something, who was Leo?

1 person likes this

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Anne Marie Guyer

@LeaPea2417 (36442)

• Toccoa, Georgia

5 Oct 21

@RubyHawk I very sorry to read that.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

@LeaPea2417 Thank you. I appreciate that I can talk about it here and not feel I’m imposing on anyone. It’s really helped me.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

Leo was my partners of nineteen years. He passed away three weeks ago. I still cannot believe he’s gone.

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@DaddyEvil (137142)

• United States

5 Oct 21

Just do a little at a time. There's no need to rush it.

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@DaddyEvil (137142)

• United States

5 Oct 21

@RubyHawk Yes, there is that... I wish I could help you with things.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

@DaddyEvil I really appreciate your kind thoughts.i know you mean it.You are a kind person.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

True but the quicker I get it done, the less time I have to dread it.

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@Fleura (29128)

• United Kingdom

14 Oct 21

People approach this situation in different ways. Some get rid of everything straight away so they won't have to see those things. Others hang onto them.

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@Fleura (29128)

• United Kingdom

14 Oct 21

@RubyHawk I slowly got rid of my parents' things (somehow I felt it would be disrespectful to get rid of everything right away, as though I couldn't wait to get rid of every trace of them!) but I still have the clothes they each wore at their wedding.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

14 Oct 21

@Fleura That was reapectful of you. . My sister has never removed her husbands clothes. With me I think it was just so painful to see Leo’s Clothing every time I opened the closet and other belongings laying out. And I knew he would want someone to have his belongings that would use them.. I still haven’t gone thru the coat closet and I:might never go through his desk and dresser drawers. It’s a painfully process.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

14 Oct 21

My sister still has her husbands clothes after seven years. I think I’ve learned from her that it’s better this way painful as it is.

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@Courtlynn (66921)

• United States

20 Oct 21

So sorry again.. i cant imagine what you're going through

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@Courtlynn (66921)

• United States

21 Oct 21

@RubyHawk unfortunately yes.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

21 Oct 21

@Courtlynn I hope you can kee keep your loved ones for many, many years.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

20 Oct 21

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but it happens to somebody everyone day. We have to accept our pain the best way we can.

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@Hannihar (129482)

• Israel

5 Oct 21

@RubyHawk I also get those dots and it goes on and on and either finally lets it go through or does error. That must have been very hard. I am glad you could do it after all. You were really courageous by filling up those trash bags of his clothes. I I am glad his daughter came by the see how you were dong and took the bags to the Thrift Shop for you I am so glad you had her to help and also great that your two sons help too. I can see why it would make you feel like Leo's clothes means that he is real and he really is gone.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

You explained It better than I could. I’m so thankful for my sons and daughter.

1 person likes this

@Hannihar (129482)

• Israel

5 Oct 21

@RubyHawk Thank you.

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

4 Oct 21

Would help if I lived closer. A step at a time seems to help me. Glad you had some help during this most difficult time.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

Thank you, I know you would and I’m so thankful for the ones who are helping me.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

@CarolDM Thank you. I appreciate that.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

5 Oct 21

@RubyHawk Thoughts are with you.

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@allknowing (130064)

• India

5 Oct 21

You handled it well.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

Thank you, I did my best.

2 people like this

@wolfgirl569 (95226)

• Marion, Ohio

5 Oct 21

Just do it as it feels right to you.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

That’s exactly what I’m trying to do. The sons and spouses or Leo’s daughter would do it but I have to do it myself.

1 person likes this

Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (306266)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

5 Oct 21

I'm glad his daughter came to visit and helped get his clothes to the thrift store. It's not an easy job, but it must be done. I'm glad you can donate them for others to use.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

That’s what Leo would have wanted. He loved people.

1 person likes this

@JESSY3236 (18923)

• United States

5 Oct 21

I had to help my mother when we were going through my uncle's clothes. We haven't decided what to do with his clothes yet.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

8 Oct 21

Leo’s clothes won’t fit anyone in the family so we can only take them to the thrift store. They will be of use to others and Leo would want that. He was a good kind man who helped anyone’s he could.

1 person likes this

@JudyEv (325818)

• Rockingham, Australia

5 Oct 21

Sometimes, people keep things for a while until there comes a time when it's a little bit easier to face the task. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

5 Oct 21

I don’t believe it will get easier for me but I need to get it done.

1 person likes this