Unexpected Proposal

@flapiz (19105)
United Kingdom
May 26, 2022 12:54pm CST
My mum called me at 4 in the morning couple of days ago and I got so worried. Apparently my ex had asked them if he could ask for my hand in marriage. He told them he had made the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with me. And he's got no excuse than the fact he was scared to commit and now he is and he is sure he loves me. This has left me quite confused and stressed as now I am in a new relationship. I don't know if my sadness is out of pity or love. And I don't want to hurt anyone. Whichever I do I will end up hurting someone and that really makes me even more stressed.
15 people like this
15 responses
@sjvg1976 (37689)
• Delhi, India
29 May
I would say you should not listen to your ex as who knows in the future he again breaks the relationship. You cannot rely on him.
2 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
31 May
Yeah he did tell me 2 months before the break up that I was his 10 and ten broke up with me before valentines.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (408529)
• Switzerland
31 May
@flapiz What was horrible was the choice of the date, just before Valentine's Day.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (408529)
• Switzerland
29 May
I agree. He broke once he will do it again in the future.
2 people like this
@marguicha (193240)
• Chile
26 May
Do you have children with any of them?
2 people like this
@marguicha (193240)
• Chile
26 May
@flapiz then do what you want to do today. Although, if I were you, I would not go back with a lover who left me.
3 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
26 May
Luckily no that would be a bigger problem.
2 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
26 May
@marguicha Yeah it's too scary now.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (37446)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 May
It sounds like you've moved on, which you have a right to. So, that's what you need to remember.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (37446)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 May
@flapiz You shouldn't. There's no such thing as a time limit as to how fast or not you're allowed to move on.
2 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
27 May
@kaylachan I know just this attitude of being scared to hurt people.
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
26 May
Yeah I feel quite guilty that I moved on too quickly.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (408529)
• Switzerland
27 May
Stay away from this horrible, selfish and coward man. As he understood he had no chances with you, he played the card to talk to your parents to ask your hand in marriage. Is he kidding? Why not to ask to you first to be sure you agree? Do he consider that you are an "object" to ask to your parents and then you will be "his" object? DO NOT marry this man.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
27 May
I know he can't even ask me in person. I have also said to him that I have moved on it is quite unfair for him to play the marriage card after he hurt me so badly.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
27 May
@LadyDuck I know. He can't expect me to accept that. He should at least try to win me back first considering that he ruined my trust in him and us. It can't be just the same as if we never broke up.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (408529)
• Switzerland
27 May
@flapiz I would have hated if my boyfriend would have played that card to me after we broke.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (286581)
• Rockingham, Australia
27 May
What a problem. I wouldn't like to advise you either way.
2 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
29 May
It is quite a tricky situation to give advise too as it has so much at stake and it's hard as you have not met the person. I don't even know him too well and if I can trust him and his words. Also I don't know the new guy much as we've only been dating for 2 months.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
31 May
@JudyEv I don't want to make a decision.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (286581)
• Rockingham, Australia
29 May
@flapiz I don't think anyone should really give advice in such a situation. I would listen to what everyone has to say but then be sure to make your own decision.
2 people like this
@luisga814 (5835)
• Quezon City, Philippines
26 May
Who's the one you've more love?
2 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
26 May
That's the problem I do not know:
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (35529)
• Philippines
3 Jun
Now when you're in a new relationship, that's rather perplexing. I believe you should think about it carefully. I believe you should prioritize your new relationship over the one you had previously. In terms of your ex, I believe he's learned his lesson. Because he was hesitant to commit, he shouldn't have acted harshly. But, if I were you, I'd probably be content with your newfound love. I believe now is the time to nurture and build your relationship in order to take it to the next level. Finally, figure out where you are now happy. If it's the current, stick with it; if it's not, it's probably time to be honest with yourself.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (35529)
• Philippines
4 Jun
@flapiz I'm glad you decided to continue your existing relationship. I believe he had his chance, but didn't show his true feelings for you. I hope you didn't make the wrong choice here and be happy with it and finally find the one you want.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun
@rsa101 I hope so too. I dreamt about my ex the other night. It does worry me.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
3 Jun
I am going to try make this new one work. It seems like he is worth it.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (124637)
• Roseburg, Oregon
26 May
Go with the one that you have a lot of feelings for. It is your life so make the best decision for you.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
26 May
That is the problem I am not sure who I got more feelings for. The new boy is fairly new.
1 person likes this
26 May
@flapiz I don't know if I could trust the first boyfriend if I were you, because I remember all the time you tried to make it all work out and he simply did not try at all or acted like he cared. I mean...he really hurt you terribly... this is just my opinion. In the end, you will have to go with what you feel is right for you.
3 people like this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
26 May
@MarieCoyle I know I feel traumatised by it.
2 people like this
@JESSY3236 (16851)
• United States
31 May
I wouldn't go back with him.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
1 Jun
And so has a lot of people said so. The way someone leaves you tells you a lot and he did leave me pretty harshly.
@nela13 (51628)
• Portugal
31 May
You must look into yourself, if you are well and love your new boyfriend or if you still have feelings for your ex but don't forget what he did in the past, he may do it again.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
31 May
I do love my new boyfriend and I feel like I'm falling even deeper in love with him. But I feel that I love the old one too. Is it possible at all to love 2 people at the same time? I am scared I'd make a wrong decision.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun
@nela13 I do know and to be honest I am too scared to get hurt again. It wasn't easy for me to pick up my broken pieces.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (51628)
• Portugal
4 Jun
@flapiz I can't say what you should do but be aware that one has already hurt you.
1 person likes this
@moonandstars (62335)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
28 May
what a stress, which is not needed. he must be really desperate to concern your mum like this or shall i say, he troubled her, not cool. also, i feel he's not sincere. he had his chance. i hope you'll feel better.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
29 May
I know part of me wonders if it's just because I am with someone new that's why he is acting like this. But also part of me wonders if indeed my absence in his life made him realise my impact.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
31 May
@moonandstars We need to learn to appreciate what we have when it is there not when it is gone. I am trying to enjoy my new relationship for now as it is going so great.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
30 May
@flapiz it reminds me of some song lyrics that you miss something when it's gone and you were gone from his life. yes, that curious part. just take it easy. it's his turn to wait
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (52360)
• Philippines
27 May
That's the way life is. Pains are always there. Go whatever would free you from entanglement and make you happy. Don't let pity overcome it.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
29 May
If only I knew if what I feel is only pure pity or rather love hidden in resentment.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
31 May
@Nakitakona Sadly I am too scared to try again with him.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (52360)
• Philippines
29 May
@flapiz May be both I guess.
1 person likes this
@Bubba90 (1820)
• Indonesia
4 Jun
Whatever your problem I will always wish the best for you. You deserve to be happy too.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun
Thank you. I am trying to prioritise my needs rather than other people's feelings and it is quite hard.
@Steevee (15)
31 May
Forgive and forget.. Move on.. Life is so beautiful.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
31 May
So simply said. I think I have not forgiven fully yet.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun
@Steevee thank you for the words of encouragement.
6 Jun
Acceptance and Self Love.. TRUST YOURSELF. You have survived and you will survive whatever is coming!..God is good...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 May
If you're confused and stressed, then maybe it's better to take it one day at a time, don't be pressured by both past and present partner.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19105)
• United Kingdom
29 May
Yeah I will just let nature run it's course. I mean, I am leaving Guernsey. The relationship I've started might even fizzle out.
1 person likes this