My Life with Depression
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (176735)
Boise, Idaho
August 4, 2022 7:26pm CST
Yeah, I am really doing a lot of thinking about my depression lately. I have had it for as long as I can recall. I have tried to find an anti-depressant that really helped me for many years. One that actually lifted my mood, and gave me back some energy and positive feelings. It seems that the older I get the less effective any of them are for me. That in itself is depressing.
I found myself missing a lot of work(school too--that far back) and just feeling so lackluster that it was hard to raise kids and be responsible in a job setting. I didn't want to cope and just wanted to go lay down.
I sought counseling both for myself and for my family because I was cranky and not able to cope. At one point I got a DUI because I was abusing alcohol. I tried several different anti-depressants, none of which helped. Life and all its obligations were just too much. I have been in the hospital a couple of times because I just could not cope. All this went on through the 70s,80s,90s, and early 2000s.
Then in the mid-2000s, I learned of another way to find a medication that might actually help. It was by taking a DNA test and using that information to find the right type of anti-depressant for me. I did that and tried several of the anti-depressants that the test defined. The same thing occurred. None of them helped. I felt no change in my mood.
So, about three years ago I discussed this with my doctor. If we are unable to find an anti-depressant that really helps lift my mood---what then? My doctor looked me right in the eye and told me the only other option would be a lobotomy or ECT(Electroconvulsive Therapy). Oh, yeah! That's something to look forward to.
8 people like this
5 responses
@MommyOfEli2013 (85178)
• Rupert, Idaho
5 Aug 22
I am sorry that you have went through that....not ever going to the doctor over my depression and getting help I can't say anything about that. I've just lived with it for half my life. I think your body can get used to the meds after time so they become less effective. Maybe not all meds but I know in some cases that happens.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (176735)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug 22
I think you are right about the medications. I have wondered about that.
@celticeagle (176735)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug 22
@MommyOfEli2013 .......Yes, and starting out at the amount the doctor wants to start you at isn't always helpful. It's depressing when nothing seems to work. I don't want to think of my last option. Won't do that. ECT is not something I want to even think seriously about.
@MommyOfEli2013 (85178)
• Rupert, Idaho
5 Aug 22
@celticeagle I have just known that to be the case with diabetic meds I have taken so thought it might be the case for all...we build a tolerance I guess....so a stronger dose or whatever is needed
1 person likes this

@celticeagle (176735)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Aug 22
I have found a few. Just like to grump about it sometimes I guess. Diversion is very important.
@sjvg1976 (41983)
• Delhi, India
5 Aug 22
I Hope ECT works for you but I feel it's just done to make your brain calm as in this therapy they pass an electric current through your brain. And I guess your mind will be calm till the therapy goes on and cannot say how the patient behaves after the therapy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (176735)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug 22
I am certainly not getting the ECT.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (193904)
• United States
5 Aug 22
I'm surprised that they weren't able to find an anti-depressant that worked for you. I'm sorry about that. I would consider ECT; but I would be very leery of the lobotomy.
1 person likes this
@PinkFloydFan (1143)
• United States
8 Aug 22
I've had the same, and just presume (still angers me) it will only get worse for me.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (176735)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Aug 22
What a bummer when there are no options.
1 person likes this
