My Life with Depression

@celticeagle (139598)
Boise, Idaho
August 4, 2022 7:26pm CST
Yeah, I am really doing a lot of thinking about my depression lately. I have had it for as long as I can recall. I have tried to find an anti-depressant that really helped me for many years. One that actually lifted my mood, and gave me back some energy and positive feelings. It seems that the older I get the less effective any of them are for me. That in itself is depressing. I found myself missing a lot of work(school too--that far back) and just feeling so lackluster that it was hard to raise kids and be responsible in a job setting. I didn't want to cope and just wanted to go lay down. I sought counseling both for myself and for my family because I was cranky and not able to cope. At one point I got a DUI because I was abusing alcohol. I tried several different anti-depressants, none of which helped. Life and all its obligations were just too much. I have been in the hospital a couple of times because I just could not cope. All this went on through the 70s,80s,90s, and early 2000s. Then in the mid-2000s, I learned of another way to find a medication that might actually help. It was by taking a DNA test and using that information to find the right type of anti-depressant for me. I did that and tried several of the anti-depressants that the test defined. The same thing occurred. None of them helped. I felt no change in my mood. So, about three years ago I discussed this with my doctor. If we are unable to find an anti-depressant that really helps lift my mood---what then? My doctor looked me right in the eye and told me the only other option would be a lobotomy or ECT(Electroconvulsive Therapy). Oh, yeah! That's something to look forward to.
9 people like this
6 responses
• Rupert, Idaho
5 Aug
I am sorry that you have went through that....not ever going to the doctor over my depression and getting help I can't say anything about that. I've just lived with it for half my life. I think your body can get used to the meds after time so they become less effective. Maybe not all meds but I know in some cases that happens.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug
I think you are right about the medications. I have wondered about that.
• Rupert, Idaho
5 Aug
@celticeagle I have just known that to be the case with diabetic meds I have taken so thought it might be the case for all...we build a tolerance I guess....so a stronger dose or whatever is needed
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug
@MommyOfEli2013 .......Yes, and starting out at the amount the doctor wants to start you at isn't always helpful. It's depressing when nothing seems to work. I don't want to think of my last option. Won't do that. ECT is not something I want to even think seriously about.
@TheSojourner (59081)
• United States
5 Aug
I appreciate that you shared. You are courageous. I found that medications didn't help me either. I hope you find some things that help.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug
It is the pit that there isn't a medication to help us. I have learned some things over the years that help but the full elixir.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug
@celticeagle I know exactly what you mean. I won't go for a lobotomy! LOL then again, if I did that, maybe I would have an excuse for staring off into space!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug
@TheSojourner .......Yes, and dripping saliva out of my mouth. No, I'd rather just put up with the fatigue and negativity.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (15548)
• India
8 Aug
Sorry you have to go through so much. Hope you get a solution to your problems soon. Find activities that help you feel relaxed till then. May be that will divert your mind and make you feel happy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Aug
I have found a few. Just like to grump about it sometimes I guess. Diversion is very important.
@sjvg1976 (38213)
• Delhi, India
5 Aug
I Hope ECT works for you but I feel it's just done to make your brain calm as in this therapy they pass an electric current through your brain. And I guess your mind will be calm till the therapy goes on and cannot say how the patient behaves after the therapy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug
I am certainly not getting the ECT.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (108965)
• United States
5 Aug
I'm surprised that they weren't able to find an anti-depressant that worked for you. I'm sorry about that. I would consider ECT; but I would be very leery of the lobotomy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Aug
Same here. I am not doing either.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug
I've had the same, and just presume (still angers me) it will only get worse for me.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (139598)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Aug
What a bummer when there are no options.
1 person likes this