I Lie Sometimes
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (78761)
United States
January 18, 2023 4:04pm CST
No. No. Not here! Just sit right back down, will ya? I know half a ya's probably knocked your chairs over when you saw that title and stood straight up.
"He finally admitted it! The bastige finally admitted it!"
Even the word "lie" is a bit harsh. I fib. Can we just go with that? Look, I am in sales, and sometimes you have to stretch the truth just a wee bit to seal the deal or hide some little truth you'd rather not be known.
Like price checking. Especially when the customer falls out of his chair.
I tell a little fib about all of the features and buttons and screens I have available to me to get me to that place that allows me to offer a better price.
They fall for it. Hook, line and sinker. I like to think that's because I am good at what I do, think fast on my feet, and use the fiction writer in me to be able to make things up that sound true.
Again, sit back down. I do not use this tactic when I talk about politics!
Yeesh. Tough crowd. Let me tell you.
But it's fun to pause a bit, sigh heavily and tell the customer, "Hold on...wait a sec...if I just go here and then here...if I just click this, get into this other screem...check my cross reference...yep. Just as I thought. It will let me do $114."
"Great. I'll take four of them," says the customer.
I'll even tap my keyboard extra loud so the phone picks it up and click my mouse to make it sound like all these magical things are happening to get to that happy place.
I even went as far today as to tell a customer that the price it gave me showed up in red with a little flag next to it. "That's a warning to me I am going too far," I said. "But I am going to do it anyway."
Ah. Sales. You've gotta love it. But, you know, a guy's gotta eat and I've got a sizeable appetite.
11 people like this
9 responses
@LindaOHio (156094)
• United States
19 Jan 23
I couldn't do what you do; but I have fibbed to customers. I must admit. When I worked for a salt company, I had to fib to the customers when they wanted salt; and the contract customers would be getting all the allocation over the little townships and burgs. I hated it; but I had to do it.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156094)
• United States
10 Feb 23
@porwest It's funny. Your employer wants you to be totally honest about your education, work experience and to be totally honest with them; but they want you to lie for them.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
10 Feb 23
@LindaOHio Certain qualifiications go with certain territories, I guess? Besides, whoever said I told the boss the truth when he hired me? I'm taking his money too. And THAT'S how good of a salesman I am. 
1 person likes this
@just4him (306113)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
19 Jan 23
Sales is the most untrustworthy occupation. As long as the customer is satisfied after the sale. How often do they complain about the deal? That might be why I never did well in sales. I never even told a small fib. It was all the honest truth.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
19 Jan 23
It was one of the questions during the interview, "Are you willing to sacrifice your integrity and keep a good conscience and straight face while doing it?"
"Will it pay well if I am?" I asked.
"VERY well," I was told.
"Where do I sign?" 
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (62120)
• United States
18 Jan 23
As long as you don’t say the six words that are guaranteed to make me walk out of a car dealership:
Let me talk to my manager.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (62120)
• United States
19 Jan 23
@porwest — I actually followed a salesman once, saying, ”I’LL talk to him!” Can’t believe the deal I got for the car after that.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
19 Jan 23
@FourWalls That would have been hilarious to have been a fly on the wall. lol
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118435)
• Gainesville, Florida
19 Jan 23
You should become a used car salesman. Or even better, an RV salesman! LOL
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118435)
• Gainesville, Florida
19 Jan 23
@porwest You could probably outsell him AND still provide better customer service, even if you do fib a little bit.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
18 Jan 23
Ah. Blech. Stick it in your eye. If you could do it, you would and you know it. lol
At the end of the day when you think about it, I am actually the one losing some money and they are saving some. The only thing is that if I don't do this they go to the competition and I lose it all.
But a lot of the time they know the competitor's price already...so I am really just pretending I can get there to match or beat their price.
It helps to hide how much margin we actually have in some of this stuff.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (115992)
• United States
18 Jan 23
@porwest I would not do it. I wouldn't want to earn money that way.
When I leased my 1st Miata the dealership was absolutely wonderful, fair, and treated us well. I could tell stories but I won't bore you. It was a no-brainer when the lease was up where I was going. When I took the 4Runner to the dealership for an oil change, they wanted my permission to do $1000 worth of work. My ex was furious and has never used them again. When he wanted to buy a new car he wouldn't even consider a Toyota.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
19 Jan 23
@NJChicaa It's just the nature of the business, and even when a salesman is not so upfront with his "tactics," he is still using them. He's just good enough to not let you know it. At the end of the day we actually take very good care of our customers, and I can't complain about what I do to get to the end game. My growth last year was 40%—and that's not just new customers. That's growing existing ones that keep coming back.
Eventually, after a while, you get to do less of this sort of thing because calling me becomes a habit, which is what the aim is. When a customer says, "I wanted to call you first," that's a win.
And ultimately no one really gets screwed over. In fact, I am often called the Sam Walton of the office. lol.
I will say that outright lying about the product or service or things like that is a no-no. But lying a little bit about how you can drop something $50? You almost have to pussyfoot around that a bit because some things have really good margins, and while the customer knows we make money on the things we sell of course, we don't want them to know how much on some things.
Telling them I have ways to get around the system and offer them a better price is just a way to say, "I appreciate you and I want to do all I can to get you where you need to be." The customer gets $50 off his order and I don't lose a sale. That's a win for the customer and a win for me regardless of how we got there.
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
18 Jan 23
Nah, I didn't stand up... I already know you stretch the truth a bit... Everybody does that on occasion. 
I've worked in sales most of my life and I bend over backwards to give the customer the truth as best I understand it. (I am self-taught on a computer and learned programming the same way. Someone who actually had programming classes can tell I don't always know how I get results but they will agree that the way I work will give results similar to the ones they can get. I am just not up on theory.)
I'm glad I'm out of sales now... Some places push people to lie to make their pay. I won't lie if I know it's a lie. *shrug* You're okay as long as the customer still gets a quality deal. It's their fault if they don't do the checking to make sure you aren't fibbing to them, in my opinion.
I've worked in sales most of my life and I bend over backwards to give the customer the truth as best I understand it. (I am self-taught on a computer and learned programming the same way. Someone who actually had programming classes can tell I don't always know how I get results but they will agree that the way I work will give results similar to the ones they can get. I am just not up on theory.)
I'm glad I'm out of sales now... Some places push people to lie to make their pay. I won't lie if I know it's a lie. *shrug* You're okay as long as the customer still gets a quality deal. It's their fault if they don't do the checking to make sure you aren't fibbing to them, in my opinion.1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
9 Feb 23
Well, in this case it's not a fib that has anything to do with the soundness or usability or quality of the product. And keep in mind, this is B2B. It is simply one that allows me to not share with the customer how much money we actually make on some of the things we sell, but still allows us to earn his business.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40515)
• United States
19 Jan 23
I get it. When I worked at the health department, patients had no clue what I had the authority to do when it came to scheduling appointments or making things happen while they were there. Nothing unlawful, but little things like asking a nurse to give a quick look at something rather than the patient waiting behind people with less serious issues.
And when a patient was being a Karen (total jerk) and demanding special considerations, I could always look suitably sympathetic while saying, "I'm so sorry. I really wish I could, but the director just won't allow it."
1 person likes this
