A dilemma of parenting

@Jenaisle (14078)

Philippines

March 25, 2023 7:55am CST

I have a grandson who is 12 years old. He tried to hurt himself in school. After having a heart-to-heart with him, he said that he did it because he feels no one loved him. I felt devastated because I always hugged him and say "I love you", and I said this to him. But he didn't reply. The other day, he did it again, scratching his arms with a piece of staple wire. They were just scratches and I think he just wanted attention, which we're showering him with right now, and I feel that this may give him an idea that it was the easiest way to catch our attention. What would you do in these circumstances? I know it's different for every child but still, your suggestions are fully welcomed.

11 people like this

14 responses

@rakski (112925)

• Philippines

25 Mar 23

I am sorry to know this. Please have him check with a child psychologist or a developmental pediatrician. My son is scheduled for May (hopefully). My son at times self-inflict. I think this is his way also to seek attention. But his pain tolerance is so high. And he is in puberty so I am also in search of answers to a lot of questions, the reason I am seeking advice. I will be talking to his pedia next week

4 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

I will heed your advice, I'm now searching for a reliable psychologist in our area. Thank you.

2 people like this

@rakski (112925)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

@Jenaisle you are welcome. It's better to try every options we have

1 person likes this

@snowy22315 (169937)

• United States

25 Mar 23

I think he needs to be evaluated by a psychologist and or psychiatrist and also get professional counseling, He may need medication for his depression..but he has to have a competent professional talk to him first and also interview family since he is a juvenile. Do it quickly as possible please.

3 people like this

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@snowy22315 (169937)

• United States

26 Mar 23

@Jenaisle Yes, it sounds very important to do. Self harm is not normal. Best wishes to you and the family

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Thank you. I will consult a psychologist and find out what's the real problem.

1 person likes this

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@shaggin (71664)

• United States

25 Mar 23

Aww how sad. You are doing the right thing showering him with love. I used to self mutilate. My arms and wrists are full of scars.

2 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Oh,

may I ask a question? Why did you do it? If you don't want to reply to the questions, it's okay. Thank you.

1 person likes this

@shaggin (71664)

• United States

26 Mar 23

@Jenaisle I had terrible depression and it made it got out my frustration and anger. It was just a bad urge I had when I got really upset.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

@shaggin I see, thanks for sharing. I'm guessing, it is our of anger and stress.

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (137145)

• United States

25 Mar 23

He needs to talk with a doctor who specializes in childhood problems... I hope everything will be okay.

2 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Thank you. I hope so too. I planned to just ignore it because his claims were not true, but I read everyone recommending treatment.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

@DaddyEvil Oh, I see. So, that is one cause. But I think it is not so with my grandkid because his parents are still together. I guess I really have to consult a psychologist. Thanks again.

@DaddyEvil (137145)

• United States

26 Mar 23

@Jenaisle You're welcome. Pretty did self-harm when she was younger. She talked with a child psychologist and felt better about herself and the situation between her mom and I... The psychologist helped her understand that our getting divorced wasn't her fault and we both still love her very much. Hearing we love you from the parents doesn't seem to matter as much as hearing that things aren't the child's fault and everyone loves them. I don't know why it makes a difference, though.

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Lenore Plassman

@sallypup (57858)

• Centralia, Washington

25 Mar 23

I hope he finds a good person to talk with.

2 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

That was one of my solutions, so I talked with his older sister to talk with him. I hope this will make him feel better.

1 person likes this

@JimBo452020 (42629)

• United Kingdom

25 Mar 23

Oh dear I would get him professional help right now. Firstly if he can't see or feel that you love him then he does need help as you do demonstrate you do love him Also he has done this more than once. Who is to say he won't do so again? He is telling you he needs help. So get him help.

2 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

I see, yes, you're right. I will seek professional help. Thank you.

1 person likes this

@sjvg1976 (41131)

• Delhi, India

26 Mar 23

All kids are like that, they all need attention. Maybe he needs attention from his parents. You need to talk to his parents as well as with the psychologist about it.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Yes, I did talk to his parents, and they're now showing their love in words and actions more often than usual. Thank you.

@RebeccasFarm (86755)

• United States

25 Mar 23

I pray he will be fine soon. Yes counseling maybe will help him.

2 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Now, I think so too. Thank you.

1 person likes this

@jstory07 (134456)

• Roseburg, Oregon

26 Mar 23

I would get the right type of help for him. You do not want him to hurt himself really badly.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Yes, I will. Indeed, you're right. Thank you,

@LadyDuck (458060)

• Switzerland

25 Mar 23

He needs to be visited by a doctor and evaluated by a professional. This young boy seems depressed but the bad is that he is trying to hurt himself

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Yes, he needs to, now I'm realizing this sad fact. Thank you.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

@LadyDuck Yes, it is. Thanks.

1 person likes this

@LadyDuck (458060)

• Switzerland

26 Mar 23

@Jenaisle It is not normal that he asks for so much attention, this is a signal that something is wrong.

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Vicki, #1 Creek Girl

@1creekgirl (40515)

• United States

26 Mar 23

I am so sorry! I wish I had some good advice. But I will pray for him.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

Thank you for the prayers. I hope it would be better soon.

1 person likes this

@LindaOHio (156159)

• United States

16 Apr 23

I am not a professional; and I think he needs professional help. A child who hurts himself is a serious issue.

1 person likes this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

16 Apr 23

Yes, indeed, the school counsellor talked to him, so he's better now.

1 person likes this

@LindaOHio (156159)

• United States

17 Apr 23

@Jenaisle That's good to hear.

1 person likes this

@Icydoll (36717)

• India

25 Mar 23

I think he needs the counseling. He will be alright soon.

2 people like this

@Jenaisle (14078)

• Philippines

26 Mar 23

I hope so too. Yes, he needs counseling. Thank you.

@yoalldudes (35040)

• Philippines

27 Mar 23

Self harm is a bad sign. He is too young and Im not a fan of medication but it is what saved my life. Although I have no other advice but to see a psychologist/psychiatrist therapist.