What meaning do you read into the word 'shame'?

@JudyEv (382104)

Rockingham, Australia

September 9, 2023 7:07pm CST

I’ve been caught out twice now using the word ‘shame’ when I was wanting to express regret over something that had or hadn’t happened. ‘Shame’ also has the meaning of loss of face or humiliation through some wrong or foolish behaviour and this latter meaning is the one given if you search for a definition of ‘shame’. When I said it was shame something had happened, I was quizzed as to what was the shame in it. It’s so easy to get caught out with different interpretations/cultures/nationalities. Maybe I’ve been wrong about the meaning for all of my 77 years. I’ve taken to using ‘pity’ on here instead of ‘shame’.

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25 responses

@AmbiePam (120752)

• United States

10 Sep 23

I hope no one was berating you for using it that way.

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@AmbiePam (120752)

• United States

10 Sep 23

@JudyEv I’m surprised anyone would think you’d try to imply that, but again, like you said, different cultures.

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@vandana7 (102698)

• India

10 Sep 23

@JudyEv You use it closer to sorry ...then why not use sorry...when we already have that word.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

Not really but they were a bit defensive - as you would be if you thought someone was saying you should be ashamed of yourself.

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@much2say (57760)

• Los Angeles, California

10 Sep 23

I'm sure I've used it the way you have too. I know I've said "it's a shame" - which would be completely different from "it's shameful". But I suppose in translation it could be misinterpreted.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

I agree. The example you've given is exactly what I meant. I'm going to use 'it's a pity' in future.

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@much2say (57760)

• Los Angeles, California

10 Sep 23

@JudyEv And that would be different from "it's pitiful"

. English can be so complex, eh?

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

@much2say That's so right. It becomes a minefield sometimes.

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@snowy22315 (208927)

• United States

10 Sep 23

My definition would be I did something wrong now I feel shame, or am ashamed.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

Fair enough. It's a bit of a grey area to me.

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@allknowing (153530)

• India

11 Sep 23

It is a shame that English is a funny language Have I used it correctly?

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@allknowing (153530)

• India

11 Sep 23

@JudyEv Is it only with the word shame or all other words? All the more reason why English is a funny language!!! Giving meaning to words has to come from some authority

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

12 Sep 23

@allknowing I haven't noticed it with other words but some idioms can throw non-native English speakers.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

That makes sense to me but it won't make sense to everybody!

I don't think it is a matter of being correct, just a matter of what meaning someone ascribes to the word.

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@wolfgirl569 (135770)

• Marion, Ohio

10 Sep 23

I know what you meant using it on like that. I have used it that way too.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

I was a bit surprised that some took it the wrong way although I could understand it too, once I thought about it.

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@xFiacre (14785)

• Ireland

10 Sep 23

@judyev It’s our language and we’ll use it as we please! Words have a variety of connotations according to context that only a native speaker has the agility to navigate properly. What a shame some folk don’t get that.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

It wasn't a big deal but it has made me more aware about its use.

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@ptrikha_2 (49753)

• India

11 Sep 23

Interpretations and mindsets can vary a lot. I think Shame would represent a criticism of someone in most cases on an outrageous act. Yet it could also mean admission on one's part. But Shame has got another meaning - what if a young lover has a bit of "shame" in talking to her lover? That is not in a negative sense!

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

It seems to be one of those words that has several meanings.

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@ptrikha_2 (49753)

• India

11 Sep 23

@JudyEv Yet it is associated more with the negative interpretations!

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@RebeccasFarm (91297)

• United States

10 Sep 23

I use it just as you do..no confusion from me Judy..I dunno..cultural I guess

I'm with ya mate.

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@RebeccasFarm (91297)

• United States

12 Sep 23

@JudyEv Could it be dense though as well as cultural?

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

It's interesting. From the comments, some know what I'm on about but others really only know it as 'being ashamed'.

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@jstory07 (148734)

• Roseburg, Oregon

10 Sep 23

Shame on you. You did something bad.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

That seems to be the way most people use it.

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@LadyDuck (502487)

• Italy

10 Sep 23

I use shame in the same way, with the two different meaning, regret for something or humiliation. I just checked the dictionary WE are correct Judy, those who do not know the two meanings have a poor vocabulary.

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@LadyDuck (502487)

• Italy

11 Sep 23

@JudyEv I also have used it both ways since I started to learn English.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

Thanks. I've used it in both ways all my life so I'm pleased that you found the 'regret for something' meaning.

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@RubyHawk (99367)

• Atlanta, Georgia

10 Sep 23

Now you have me thinking. I might say. It’s a shame that mother didn’t comfort that child when he cried. What I mean is, the mother should be ashamed of herself for not taking care of her;child.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

@RubyHawk True. And you've given good examples of how the word can be used for each meaning.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

I can see that but if I said it, I'd be meaning 'it's a pity etc'. I'm going to use pity in future so I don't get misunderstood.

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@RubyHawk (99367)

• Atlanta, Georgia

11 Sep 23

@JudyEv That might be/the best idea, if you take the time to think before the words pop out. Actually I do use the word in different ways. I might say, It’s a shame she missed her ride again or She should be ashamed for being so rude.

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@LindaOHio (222417)

• United States

10 Sep 23

I always says "It's a shame". Maybe it's a regional thing. Enjoy your day.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

I say that too but now I think a bit more before I use it and use 'pity' instead if I think someone might take it the wrong way.

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@freelancermariagrace (29342)

• Philippines

10 Sep 23

I don’t use the word “shame” often. If I have to, it is like “Shame on you.”

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

So that's one meaning but I also mean it when I am sorry something has happened as in 'It's a shame you didn't get any bargains at the sale'.

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@Gilljane (2897)

• Sutton, England

10 Sep 23

That happened to me once. Now I say pity

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

'Pity' seems to work better or maybe 'I'm sorry about such and such'.

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@Gilljane (2897)

• Sutton, England

11 Sep 23

@JudyEv I think so. I was caught out when I first joined here

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@flapiz (23530)

• United Kingdom

10 Sep 23

For me it means a lot of thing like something that could be done better or too bad. And also to connote embarrassment for an action. It depends on the context I guess.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

I think you are right. It really depends on the context.

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@RasmaSandra (98004)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

10 Sep 23

I have always looked at that word to mean being sorry for doing something and regretting doing it,

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

That's pretty much my understanding of it too.

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@Fleura (35031)

• United Kingdom

12 Sep 23

Maybe it's a British-origin thing. We often say 'Oh what a shame' if something slightly bad happens.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

14 Sep 23

We say it all the time and that's what I said to someone but they took it to mean they should be ashamed. It was easily sorted but was a bit of a wake-up call.

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@TheHorse (238306)

• Walnut Creek, California

10 Sep 23

Can't there be different definitions for the same word? "Shame" to me implies strong guilt, or losing face. But the term "It's a shame" has come to mean "what a bummer." Was the person who quizzed you a non-native English speaker? "A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing."

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

I used it as 'what a bummer' and yes, the person concerned was a non-native English speaker. It was just a good reminder to be careful when I think I might use it.

@noni1959 (13048)

• United States

11 Sep 23

I'm sorry they took offense. I have used it for regret as well. Like I told my friend it's a shame my son and I couldn't get into the new restaurant. It was too crowded. Shame can be regret or pity. Pity can be an unfortunate development. It just depends how the words are used.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

11 Sep 23

It depends on the context as much as anything but also on a person's understanding of the meaning.

@MarieCoyle (59216)

•

10 Sep 23

Yes, I think we have all encountered people of different cultures or backgrounds understanding some words the way we do here. I have not thought of the word shame being taken like that, but I can see why if the only definition the other person is thinking is of actual shame itself. I will have to watch that word, I think.

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@JudyEv (382104)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Sep 23

I find myself mostly using pity now. It works better I think or at least it's more clear to some.

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@MarieCoyle (59216)

•

11 Sep 23

@JudyEv I can see that it would be the better word to use in many cases. You are right.

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