Bachelorettes' and Bucks' Parties
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (357177)
Rockingham, Australia
April 7, 2024 8:00pm CST
MyLotter @xFiacre wrote about sharing a plane with some cowboy-hatted girls. As part of a ‘bachelorette’ party, they were flying from Ireland to Manchester.
I was thinking about this and how different it was in my day. An unmarried girl was just that, an unmarried girl, but if you stayed unmarried too long you became, a spinster which had quite negative connotations. Once you were engaged to be married and sometime before the ceremony, you had a ‘kitchen tea’ or 'hen's party' where your friends would bring gifts to help you set up house.
The groom would be subjected to a ‘stag party’ or ‘bucks’ party. This was usually held the night before the wedding, a very ill-advised time which resulted in many a groom turning up at the altar with a huge hangover. Some rather awful practical jokes were also often played on the hapless husband-to-be. Nowadays, the girls are jus as likely to get as drunk as the boys but at least it all takes place in time for everyone to sober up again before the actual day.
Things are a lot different nowadays. Many of the happy couples have been living together and have all they need before they even get as far as planning a wedding.
The photo is of a young guest at a Nepalese wedding.
30 people like this
25 responses
@rebelann (114214)
• El Paso, Texas
8 Apr 24
It's been that way here for decades. Many women in the US are perfectly happy just living with a guy, it seems to have caught on because when I was a young woman getting married meant I would belong to the man I married and I didn't want that to happen, I like freedom too much.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (100074)
• United States
8 Apr 24
I don’t mind being a spinster, although no one has ever used that word in reference to me. I find it kind of sad though, that I have had a few married ladies tell me how lucky I am to be single. I would have hoped that thought would never have crossed their minds.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (357177)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr 24
It should all be about what the couple want. Sometimes the hype is just way over the top.
@wolfgirl569 (118556)
• Marion, Ohio
8 Apr 24
Things have changed a lot. They were saying on a show a few days ago that the average bachelorette party costs 1200 a person here now
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (118556)
• Marion, Ohio
9 Apr 24
@JudyEv That's what I thought when they were talking about it
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (95312)
• Arvada, Colorado
8 Apr 24
A lovely kid in the photo in Nepal.
Oh marriage..yes..that's all I have to say about that.
We never had no parties before..marriage was on the spot. Idiot me.
We never had no parties before..marriage was on the spot. Idiot me.1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (95312)
• Arvada, Colorado
9 Apr 24
@JudyEv No none of them Judy..tis okay I am fine as I am.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (477832)
• Italy
8 Apr 24
It was the same in Italy, an unmarried girl was just that, but after the 30s she became a spinster (zitella in Italian) and it had a negative connotation. We surely had no wild "hens parties", it would have been considered very bad girls alone acting like crazy.
The groom could meet their friends the week before the wedding, never the night before. Just married couples could expect pranks from their friends.
This little girl in the photo is so cute.1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (86526)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
8 Apr 24
I have never been to a bachelorette party but have been to a number of weddings,
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (43796)
• United States
8 Apr 24
It's hard to think of a wedding gift if the couple has been living together.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (43796)
• United States
8 Apr 24
@JudyEv A changing world from what we knew.
1 person likes this
if they are golden boys, then we are golden girls
@BarBaraPrz (49956)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
8 Apr 24
Up until the mid-90s or so, gift "showers" were still held for the bride-to-be but somewhere along the line "stag and doe" parties were held in a bar and one had to buy tickets for it. I never attended one. Too crass, in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16981)
• China
8 Apr 24
Not sure if the ‘kitchen tea’ or 'hen's party' are comparable to the bridal shower.Here there is a banter too to tease the newlyweds on wedding night.
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (7498)
• United Kingdom
8 Apr 24
They are called ‘stag’ and ‘hen’ dos over here, and yes, there is more importance placed on having a good time than planning for a wedding. As you say, women’s hen dos were very low key. These days, both parties seem to want to go abroad, get drunk, do crazy things, and waste a lot of money. That tells me that there is much more disposable income these days than ever before, despite the state of the world economies.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (357177)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 24
I'm sure you're right. I've seen 'rehearsal wedding breakfasts' in films. WHAT??? maybe it's only the very rich that do this. One 'breakfast' is usually expensive enough to send the bride's father into shock.
@FourWalls (76239)
• United States
8 Apr 24
A “spinster” sounds nicer than what Americans called unmarried women over, say, 25: “old maids.”
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (357177)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 24
There are often practical jokes too which may or may not be funny.
@Beestring (15556)
• Hong Kong
8 Apr 24
The girl in the picture is so cute.
In traditional China, we also have similar term "spinster" for elder women not getting married. Nowadays, nobody cares if you are single for life or not.
1 person likes this
