Bachelorettes' and Bucks' Parties

@JudyEv (327550)
Rockingham, Australia
April 7, 2024 8:00pm CST
MyLotter @xFiacre wrote about sharing a plane with some cowboy-hatted girls. As part of a ‘bachelorette’ party, they were flying from Ireland to Manchester. I was thinking about this and how different it was in my day. An unmarried girl was just that, an unmarried girl, but if you stayed unmarried too long you became, a spinster which had quite negative connotations. Once you were engaged to be married and sometime before the ceremony, you had a ‘kitchen tea’ or 'hen's party' where your friends would bring gifts to help you set up house. The groom would be subjected to a ‘stag party’ or ‘bucks’ party. This was usually held the night before the wedding, a very ill-advised time which resulted in many a groom turning up at the altar with a huge hangover. Some rather awful practical jokes were also often played on the hapless husband-to-be. Nowadays, the girls are jus as likely to get as drunk as the boys but at least it all takes place in time for everyone to sober up again before the actual day. Things are a lot different nowadays. Many of the happy couples have been living together and have all they need before they even get as far as planning a wedding. The photo is of a young guest at a Nepalese wedding.
31 people like this
25 responses
@rebelann (111544)
• El Paso, Texas
8 Apr
It's been that way here for decades. Many women in the US are perfectly happy just living with a guy, it seems to have caught on because when I was a young woman getting married meant I would belong to the man I married and I didn't want that to happen, I like freedom too much.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
For sure I can see quite a few benefits. But it's often the children who eventually suffer.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111544)
• El Paso, Texas
8 Apr
I agree but I've heard one woman say that she was setting an example for her daughter, I couldn't fathom just what she thought that example would be.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (86215)
• United States
8 Apr
I don’t mind being a spinster, although no one has ever used that word in reference to me. I find it kind of sad though, that I have had a few married ladies tell me how lucky I am to be single. I would have hoped that thought would never have crossed their minds.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
I rarely hear the term 'spinster' nowadays. And yes, that is a bit sad that married people tell you that.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (135435)
• Roseburg, Oregon
8 Apr
I had no fancy party before I got married. We just drove to Las Vegas and got married. A show and gambling and we were both happy.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
It should all be about what the couple want. Sometimes the hype is just way over the top.
@wolfgirl569 (96985)
• Marion, Ohio
8 Apr
Things have changed a lot. They were saying on a show a few days ago that the average bachelorette party costs 1200 a person here now
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (96985)
• Marion, Ohio
9 Apr
@JudyEv That's what I thought when they were talking about it
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@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr
Another proof that some people have more money than sense - in my humble opinion anyway.
1 person likes this
@Ronrybs (17951)
• London, England
8 Apr
Only been to one stag do, it was passable, not my idea of good night
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
11 Apr
@Ronrybs We like old-time Dixieland type jazz but not so much the modern stuff but don't tell our son!!
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@Ronrybs (17951)
• London, England
16 Apr
@JudyEv Your secret is safe, just don't go putting it up on a social media site!
1 person likes this
@Ronrybs (17951)
• London, England
10 Apr
@JudyEv Sounds more like it. Except for the jazz!
1 person likes this
@nela13 (55820)
• Portugal
8 Apr
In Portugal it was the same, an unmarried girl (usually after the age of 30) would be called an aunt (stayed for aunt) and this was a negative connotation too.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr
'Old maids' was another term used here.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (55820)
• Portugal
11 Apr
@JudyEv Yes, it was used here as well.
1 person likes this
@kareng (55883)
• United States
8 Apr
Yep, the age for getting married has certainly increased with modern times!
1 person likes this
@kareng (55883)
• United States
9 Apr
@JudyEv A lot here in the U.S.! The figure goes up every year it seems.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
Some don't bother to get married at all.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (87022)
• United States
8 Apr
A lovely kid in the photo in Nepal. Oh marriage..yes..that's all I have to say about that. We never had no parties before..marriage was on the spot. Idiot me.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
Some rush in I guess. I'm sorry your marriage/s didn't work out although the last one did. Is that correct? I can't remember now.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr
@JudyEv No none of them Judy..tis okay I am fine as I am.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (461387)
• Switzerland
8 Apr
It was the same in Italy, an unmarried girl was just that, but after the 30s she became a spinster (zitella in Italian) and it had a negative connotation. We surely had no wild "hens parties", it would have been considered very bad girls alone acting like crazy. The groom could meet their friends the week before the wedding, never the night before. Just married couples could expect pranks from their friends. This little girl in the photo is so cute.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (461387)
• Switzerland
8 Apr
@JudyEv I agree, it's a much better idea than those wild parties they do now.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
Getting together well before the wedding is a much better idea.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (74439)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
8 Apr
I have never been to a bachelorette party but have been to a number of weddings,
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40748)
• United States
8 Apr
It's hard to think of a wedding gift if the couple has been living together.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40748)
• United States
8 Apr
@JudyEv A changing world from what we knew.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
Exactly and now many are not shy about suggesting a monetary gift.
1 person likes this
@just4him (309595)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 Apr
Peter, Paul, and Mary sang a song in which one of the lines is: The times they are a changing. It's definitely the case with weddings today. I love the picture.
1 person likes this
@just4him (309595)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 Apr
@JudyEv Yes, they were.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
I remember that song well. That was a long time ago too. They were a great group.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129852)
• Israel
8 Apr
@JudyEv You are right that things are different now.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
Such a lot of things have changed in our world.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129852)
• Israel
8 Apr
@JudyEv Yes, they have.
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (3656)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
9 Apr
spinster term was invented by men and i don't acnowledge it if they are golden boys, then we are golden girls
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Apr
Yes, that's right. All single people are special as are married ones.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45745)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
8 Apr
Up until the mid-90s or so, gift "showers" were still held for the bride-to-be but somewhere along the line "stag and doe" parties were held in a bar and one had to buy tickets for it. I never attended one. Too crass, in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr
Most are pretty crass nowadays I think.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Apr
Not sure if the ‘kitchen tea’ or 'hen's party' are comparable to the bridal shower.Here there is a banter too to tease the newlyweds on wedding night.
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@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
Yes, it's also called a bridal shower here. I'd forgotten that.
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@Orson_Kart (6165)
• United Kingdom
8 Apr
They are called ‘stag’ and ‘hen’ dos over here, and yes, there is more importance placed on having a good time than planning for a wedding. As you say, women’s hen dos were very low key. These days, both parties seem to want to go abroad, get drunk, do crazy things, and waste a lot of money. That tells me that there is much more disposable income these days than ever before, despite the state of the world economies.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr
I'm sure you're right. I've seen 'rehearsal wedding breakfasts' in films. WHAT??? maybe it's only the very rich that do this. One 'breakfast' is usually expensive enough to send the bride's father into shock.
@FourWalls (62900)
• United States
8 Apr
A “spinster” sounds nicer than what Americans called unmarried women over, say, 25: “old maids.”
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr
Yes, we have that too but nobody uses either now as dozens of unmarrieds have partners.
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@TheHorse (207996)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Apr
Cite photo. I have been to a few bachelor parties. Yes, a bit on imbibing was involved. And sometimes visits to places where "scantily" clad women could be seen.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr
There are often practical jokes too which may or may not be funny.
@Beestring (13526)
• Hong Kong
8 Apr
The girl in the picture is so cute. In traditional China, we also have similar term "spinster" for elder women not getting married. Nowadays, nobody cares if you are single for life or not.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (327550)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Apr
There is less prejudice against unmarrieds which is a good thing really.
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