We Will Do Brats
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (100885)
United States
June 5, 2025 8:11am CST
So, as has become the rule, I visit with my mom on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we do various things. Tool around town and go shopping or I take her sometimes to the bowling alley where there are a couple of slot machines. It's just an excuse to get her out of the house and have some external stimuli as her dementia advances.
Thursdays are usually a "cooking day." I go over and prepare some meals for her. This time we will make brats with a couple of sides, and there are enough to make about three meals for her.
In the interim days my sister, who she lives with, offers midway meals she can eat, so she gets enough variety.
Last week I cooked up some salmon for her with Spanish rice and spinach. She really enjoyed that.
10 people like this
8 responses
@1creekgirl (43720)
• United States
5 Jun
You're a good son, Jim. I'm sure your mom enjoys the food and spending time with you.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (43720)
• United States
7 Jun
@porwest That's what most every parent says. We'll have Landon, our 15 year old grandson for a week soon when his parents go on a cruise. I'm looking forward to cooking for him. Nathan will be here some, too.
1 person likes this
@porwest (100885)
• United States
11 Jun
@1creekgirl Sounds like a good time. Enjoy.
1 person likes this
@Ineeddentures (4361)
•
7 Jun
It's great that you can do this stuff for your mum.
It's sad she has dementia.
Your sister helping out also is good.
1 person likes this
@porwest (100885)
• United States
8 Jun
We're trying as best we can to make the time good for her. This disease sort of creeped up on us, and it's been hard to deal with. But that's life, hey? Things don't always go the way you expect them to, but of course, you still have to do what you have to do.
1 person likes this
@porwest (100885)
• United States
11 Jun
@Ineeddentures It's a hard disease to deal with. Not that all aren't. But when someone is standing right in front of you, and they're becoming less the person you remember, that's rough.
1 person likes this
@Ineeddentures (4361)
•
8 Jun
@porwest
I know how it goes.
My father developed Dementia after he had a stroke.
You do indeed have to do what needs to be done
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (124644)
• Gainesville, Florida
6 Jun
It sounds like you cook better for her than you do for yourself! haha. No mashup meals where you just randomly grab what's in the fridge or pantry? lol
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (124644)
• Gainesville, Florida
12 Jun
@porwest See, now you’re getting your creative cooking juices flowing! No telling what you will come up with!
1 person likes this
@porwest (100885)
• United States
13 Jun
@moffittjc Challenges do often offer solutions and ideas. I might even become a master chef or something. lol
@porwest (100885)
• United States
7 Jun
lol. There's probably some truth in that. I guess part of it is that I have limited "cooking options." The stove and oven are turned off, so all I have to work with is a microwave, electric skillet and a hot plate I had her buy so we could boil noodles and stuff.
She does have a crockpot, but I haven't made her anything in that yet. Maybe soon. But of course, that would be an all-day affair to get it prepped and cooked and put into serving containers.
Although now that I think about it, I could cook it in my crockpot at home and just bring the finished product to her. Hmm.
1 person likes this
@porwest (100885)
• United States
5 Jun
That's the ultimate aim. Keep her out of a home and give her all the support and comfort we can. I always say, moms (or parents in general) sacrifice 18 years+ of their lives for their kids. The least we can do is sacrifice some of our time later on when they need us.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (150534)
• United States
5 Jun
It's nice you help your mom and take her out to do things...
My mom, when she was still with us, called me almost every day to go help her with something... She'd ask me to take her shopping and then only buy one thing, like bread or milk. The next day she'd want to go shopping again and buy ne thing, like some cookies or something else sweet... I tried and tried to get her to make a list so we could buy everything she needed at one time but she'd insist she didn't need anything else. (That honestly drove me crazy!)
One day, I told her if there was anything she was saving up for the next day she needed to buy it while we were at the grocery store because I couldn't come and take her shopping the next day. Pretty had a program at school I couldn't miss.) Of course, the next day mom called needing desperately to go shopping and told me I might not have her for much longer so I needed to ignore what Pretty needed to take her shopping. Well, I'm sure you can imagine how well that went over. I told mom she had 14 other kids she could call to take her shopping because I was busy! She started crying... I hung up and went to Pretty's school program.
I did call one brother and one sister to ask how often mom called them to take her shopping. The brother said mom never called him and the sister said she had gotten tired of mom calling every day only to buy one item each time...
The next day, when mom called, I went over, went through her fridge and cabinets and made a shopping list. We went to the grocery store and bought enough to last her a week and I told her I'd be back the next week and we could go shopping for a week at a time. I thought that was more than fair... She kept crying the whole time we shopped, claiming I didn't love her. After we got back to her house, I put the groceries away and told her I'd had enough... Either she could stop crying at me or she could call somebody else to help her. That's when she told me none of the other kids would help her anymore and wouldn't even come to visit... (I didn't blame them. You couldn't go visit with mom... she always had things that HAD to be done right then and wouldn't sit down and just visit.)
I told her I totally understood the reason they didn't visit and I would see her in a week.
@Marilynda1225 (84969)
• United States
5 Jun
That sounds like a fun day for your mom and as a mom myself I love spending time with my son. 
1 person likes this
@porwest (100885)
• United States
8 Jun
She really does get a ton of enjoyment out of it, and luckily, she's still able to tell me that and how special it is to her. I imagine there will come a time when she will be oblivious to a lot of it. As they always say, cherish every moment you have. That's what we're trying our best to do.
