The Ongoing Saga of The Mother-in-Law

United States
July 9, 2025 7:55pm CST
Well, she and her employer did make it out to see the senior living facility yesterday. She likes it and wants to move into it. But that's where things got fuzzy. She's got it in her head that her employer (a family friend) is going to pay all her rent and all her bills. We tried using logic on her like "Why would he do that? He's not obligated to do that." But all we could get in response was that "He's a millionaire, he can afford to pay for everything I need." Well that may be true that he COULD, but why WOULD he? She's got it in her head that this family friend promised to take care of her when her husband died. Okay, he has. He's given her money here and there. He takes care of all of her care maintenance for free, and he created a "job" for her where she works 14 hours per week for $14/hr. He HAS taken care of her. She thinks "take care of her" means give her everything she wants and foot the bill. So we've just decided to take matters into our own hands. We're meeting her on Monday and giving her an apartment application to sign as well as a Power of Attorney. We will make all the arrangements. We told her not to get the family friend involved anymore. Will she listen? Probably not. But that's all we can do at this point. So frustrating!
17 people like this
17 responses
• United States
17h
Tough choices ahead. This transition may be difficult to navigate. When my Dad got dementia, brothers and sisters were able to help take care but there came a point where he was safer in a facility designed for his condition. He saw everyone as a stranger near the end of his time at home. He had a moment of clarity the day he was brought to the Care facility. When he realized he wasn't going home he became angry. It didn't last long, within minutes, everyone was a stranger again. I wish you luck in all that lies ahead.
4 people like this
@rakski (142682)
• Philippines
17h
wow, what a kidn family friend he is. But yes, you are right, he has helped her enough, more than enough maybe
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (192502)
• United States
17h
Well, who is going to pay for it? Medicare?
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (15173)
• Philippines
16h
Well, that's how old people are. I pray that my kids and grandkids will care for me as much as you do your MIL when I become senile and lack proper cognition.
3 people like this
@FourWalls (76487)
• United States
15h
The pain of Alzheimer’s is so multifaceted. I feel for ya.
2 people like this
@Mshafeeq (2149)
• Kuwait, Kuwait
17h
So kind to help her out, hope all goes well and end up with ease.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (164657)
• United States
59m
That is so hard but it is what you will have to do.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (38031)
• Toccoa, Georgia
Just now
Oh my goodness. That's hard. Prayers the Monday meeting goes well for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
Just now
We've already got a hiccup. Waiting for the full details. Will post about it in a few hours.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (38031)
• Toccoa, Georgia
Just now
@LooeyVille oh goodness, okay.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (118970)
• Marion, Ohio
5h
I hope she signs everything. At least it's a start
1 person likes this
• United States
3h
I hope she signs that Power of Attorney as well as the apartment application.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (27392)
• Singapore
2h
Sorry that you are caught in between. As we get older even otherwise, we look for those who are nice to be with but forget that they cannot go beyond a distance to care for us.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (17229)
• Raurkela, India
4h
He maybe a kind man or might be wanting to build up a relationship with your mother- in- law.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (194036)
• United States
12h
Baby steps. Maybe this is the start of something good!!!
1 person likes this
@porwest (102951)
• United States
6h
Right. That's the best question. Why WOULD he? I have means, but those means are MINE, intended for me and my wife. Not for anyone else. Not even my mother, dare I say, or my father. Seems like you have the ducks lined up and will get things accomplished sooner rather than later. But I am sure this is a trying time for all involved...except your mother in law it seems. lol
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14h
That's going to be a long day, I guess, but I hope everything will be okay soon. Maybe they have that strong bond that is why they have that trust and strong accountability for each other.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (145042)
• Roseburg, Oregon
17h
I hope it all works out for her.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (46054)
16h
I hope you can get her to sign the Power of Attorney paper...gee, can you shuffle it in the apartment papers?? Haha, kidding, but not kidding. Since she is so unrealistic about money in general, it would probably be better for someone else to be in charge of her money at this point.
1 person likes this