She is Back.
By rakski
@rakski (146006)
Philippines
August 10, 2025 8:33pm CST
who is back?
My friend, whom I mentioned here before who had a lot of debts.
She did not message me for a few months and now I received a message from her. She is borrowing money, and you know why, because she needs to pay her debts.
I have not opened her message yet. As much as I would like to help her, I have my own financial responsibilities and commitments to take care of. I’ve learned that lending money, especially to someone already struggling with debts, can sometimes make the situation worse for both parties. I don’t want to damage our friendship, but I also need to protect my stability. I’ll have to think of a way to respond that is honest yet compassionate, perhaps offering advice or moral support instead of financial help.
What will you do in this situation?
12 people like this
13 responses
@AmbiePam (101446)
• United States
16h
I’d find the kindest, but most firm way of telling her you don’t have the money to lend. If she’s a real friend, she’ll understand. But some people will try to get money from you, blaming everyone for not helping, refusing to see they did this to themselves. If you give her money, you best consider it a gift because you will undoubtedly not get it back.
5 people like this
@jefferson126 (3505)
• Shenzhen, China
15h
I don't think a normal ppl would get deep in debt,the person deep in debt may be greedy,wanna seize big money instantly,but finally gain nothing but debt.
@rsa101 (39769)
• Philippines
16h
In such a situation, it’s essential to respond with kindness while maintaining clear boundaries to show your friend you care without leading to misunderstanding. A possible response might be:
“I’m really sorry to hear about your tough time. I wish I could assist financially, but I have commitments I need to manage right now. I truly hope things improve for you soon—if you’d like, I can help think of other options or resources that could lighten the burden.”
This way, you remain honest about your inability to lend money but still extend emotional support and concern. The focus should be on keeping a warm tone, avoiding judgment, and emphasizing empathy instead of a simple refusal.
2 people like this
@youless (113657)
• Guangzhou, China
12h
This is always a very tough situation. If you think she can return to your debt, then it's OK to lend her some money. If not, it's better not to lend her money. If you really feel embarrassed to it since she is your friend, perhaps you can lend her little money which you won't feel bad even if she doesn't pay you back.
1 person likes this
@jefferson126 (3505)
• Shenzhen, China
15h
If ppl intend to lend money out,must make preparation ahead that you are likely lose money.In case it ineed happen,ppl will not get deep hurt.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (85787)
• United States
2h
Many years ago I was in a similar situation. A friend was seriously in debt, asked to borrow money which I didn't have but gave anyway, and it wound up that what I sacrificed didn't help her problem and in the long run it ruined our friendship.
@Shivram59 (44758)
• India
57m
I help some of my friends who are really poor and needy. But I don't understand how can a girl who has borrowed so much money is seeking more money.
@cabuyogty (4169)
• Philippines
3h
I will be contented with I have depending on my life situation. I didn't use to lend and lend money frequently and it's too cruel for me , it makes me anxious everytime I have to think my debt. 
@jefferson126 (3505)
• Shenzhen, China
15h
Don't easily lend money out,especially lend money to a person who is deep in debt.I bet she is unable to repay you on time.
1 person likes this
@LooeyVille (72)
• United States
5h
Do not enable her. Do not lend her money. Take care of yourself.
