I really don't like surprise visits. Who is allowed to visit you unannounced?
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (56674)
November 24, 2025 3:34pm CST
You know doubt know the feeling...you are knee deep in alligators, just struggling to maintain...and the doorbell rings. You ignore it at first, because of various possible factors.
You are just out of the shower.
You are dressed in your oldest sweats and an ancient shirt, because you are cleaning or doing some other project.
You are exhausted and just don't want to deal with anything.
You look like death warmed over...haven't combed your hair yet and haven't had the required amount of coffee that turns you into a human yet, either.
You are simply just not in the mood for any company, at all.
My friends and I always call each other first, or text, or whatever==you know, ''can I drop by today about 2PM?'' With my son here and requiring care, my time is not always my own. Things I need to get done often interfere with what I need to do for him, and I need to know when someone is coming by.
We have the nicest, most efficient, maintenance man. He is a keeper. But he never, ever calls or sets up an exact time. He will say ''I'll be there Monday'' which is fine. But he will never commit to a time, and he never calls before he comes. He doesn't want anyone to know his cell number, as he is afraid he will be bombarded at all hours, which I can understand. There is an emergency number that we can call and leave a message with a live body if he is not here, and they do call him right away. But as for him committing to a time, it just never happens. It makes me crazier than I already am!
I can always handle family, or friends who know my situation. But the surprise visits...just a big, fat NO WAY! How about you?
18 people like this
15 responses
@snowy22315 (205429)
• United States
24 Nov
I do not like anyone coming to the door I am not expecting. 9 times out of 10 it is some worker guy who wants to give me his card or something..but just not fond of it. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often. I suppose I could use either a rRng or Blink or one of those, but it really doesn't happen that often.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
24 Nov
My oldest son installed my doorbell cameras so I can see whoever it is, even if I am not at home. But times are different now than they used to be. Most people I know have cameras.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (95919)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
24 Nov
All my nearest and dearest are always welcom unannounced in spirit, There is now one living who could drop in on me,
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (95919)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
25 Nov
@MarieCoyle I have accepted this fact because unless someone has a direct solution that is how it is and has to be, BTW I last ventured outside in the spring, Safe but quiet in these four walls.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
26 Nov
@RasmaSandra
I remember you used to walk to the convenience store sometimes. I don’t think I could stay inside, not all the time. I enjoy nice days. Would you feel differently about going outside if you were back in Latvia? Just curious.
1 person likes this
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
25 Nov
I am definitely not into unannounced visits 
. Most people we are close to know this - and they are the same thank goodness - we text beforehand like you said. But I can think of instances where folks just showed up (at the worst possible time) . . . I did not appreciate that at all.
. Most people we are close to know this - and they are the same thank goodness - we text beforehand like you said. But I can think of instances where folks just showed up (at the worst possible time) . . . I did not appreciate that at all.2 people like this
.@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
I just truly appreciate a heads up. My plate is too full for surprises!
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
26 Nov
@much2say
We have days like that. Too nutty for any company!
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
I don't get a lot, either. However, the ones I do get never, ever seem to be at a time that it's even possible to answer the door. 
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (376128)
• Rockingham, Australia
26 Nov
@MarieCoyle That's akin to Murphy's Law or somesuch.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
26 Nov
@JudyEv
Yes, you are correct! Crazy how that works!
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (119726)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
25 Nov
The only person that makes a surprise visit to my home is my nurse who comes to my home to check on me.
2 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (119726)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
25 Nov
@MarieCoyle I am here when the nurse comes to visit my home every three months to check up on my health.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
@Deepizzaguy
That’s nice that you have that service, George.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
As long as you are there when she comes, all is good.
2 people like this
@NJChicaa (126801)
• United States
24 Nov
My ex is always welcome as he knows. Hell he has scared the crap out of me by showing up in the bedroom at like midnight while I was sound asleep. He doesn't have a key but he is always welcome. If the door is open--come in. If not, just knock or ring the bell. My downstairs neighbor pops up now and then. I'm fine with it. Pretty much anyone else should just call or text before they show up.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
24 Nov
@NJChicaa
Yes, with Mr. Smokey still there, it would be best to always lock the door.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (40615)
• Philippines
25 Nov
I can definitely understand why that would drive you a little crazy — especially with everything you’re juggling and the need to plan your day around your son’s care. Unannounced visits can feel overwhelming even on a calm day, let alone when you’re already stretched thin.
I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that kind of surprise drop-ins in my own situation. Having people respect your time and give a heads-up really does make a big difference. Hopefully the maintenance man might become a bit more predictable over time, but until then, it makes sense that it throws off your rhythm.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
He is such a sweetheart and goes the extra mile. I just wish he would give me an approximate time.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (39776)
• Toccoa, Georgia
25 Nov
My husband has a guy friend who has popped in at unexpected times. It is annoying. He hasn't done it in awhile. I hope I'm not talking too soon.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
26 Nov
I understand your feelings. It would be nice if your husband would ask him to give a heads up before he visits, but it seems guys don’t do that.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (497117)
• Italy
26 Nov
@MarieCoyle - I prefer to know, I may be busy and not ready to receive someone.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
I am definitely not a fan, at least not right now. With the son like he is, and weird sleeping times because of it, I would prefer to not be asleep or busy and to know when someone is coming.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
26 Nov
@LadyDuck
I know what you mean.
When my kids were growing up, they always brought their friends in and out but that’s just what kids do. I didn’t consider their friends to be unexpected company, when a person has 4 children, they have a houseful anyway, so you are used to it. My friends know my life is busy and my time has to be planned out a bit for. It to work, for that I am thankful.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
It is just hard right now, I can't spread myself too thin or I will be of no use.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (44519)
• United States
1 Dec
I totally understand how you feel. Our closest kids live an hour away so we always know when they're coming. I have a cousin who drops by sometime, but it's okay.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
1 Dec
I think most people here who know me know that I care for my son and am not always available. I like to know who is coming and when, it helps me so much.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (18147)
• Raurkela, India
25 Nov
I have this problem with the delivery boys of the products that I order online. They ring the bell or call anytime they like. At times when I am having my shower which irritates me.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
I rarely order anything to be delivered, but when I do, wherever it's coming from will text when on their way and when it's delivered, with a picture. So a person doesn't have to be at the door for them to leave deliveries. Of course I follow them and know the approximate time ahead of their texts, so that someone will be around to bring in whatever the delivery is. I hate being interrupted when I am taking a shower!
@LindaOHio (217835)
• United States
25 Nov
I don't like surprise visits because I could be in the bathroom or shower.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56674)
•
25 Nov
People do seem to have a knack for ringing the bell when a person takes a shower!
1 person likes this
@Fleura (34438)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov
I agree it is better to have some warning. Otherwise you may be in the middle of unblocking the drain or some other dirty job and not have anything much to offer apart from a cup of tea/coffee.
I can understand the maintenance man though. He never knows how long a job might take so he can't really give a definite time (unless it's the first job of the day) and he doesn't want people complaining he's late! But surely he doesn't care if you haven't brushed your hair or don't have a freshly-baked cake to offer?
1 person likes this
