Old habits die hard

@JudyEv (382104)
Rockingham, Australia
December 4, 2025 9:23pm CST
We recently had visitors from Bavaria stay with us for a few days. We stayed with them when we were overseas and her elderly mother gave us the most marvellous walking tour of her town. Her mother has been living alone for some 30 years and only recently has had to move in with a son. She had a period of respite in an aged care facility. Most of the residents there had some form of dementia. The staff were anxious to get her mother to have her meals with the other residents and ‘socialise’ with them. Her daughter advocated for her saying that she’d eaten alone for a very long time and didn’t particularly want to converse with others at mealtimes, particularly when most had some form of impairment. I hadn’t thought about such things before but I can understand that the old lady might prefer to eat alone. The photo was taken in a Bavarian church that we were taken to.
15 people like this
14 responses
@marguicha (230350)
• Chile
5 Dec
I´m thinking about moving to a senior facility. What bothers me is the other people there. Most of my friends are much younger than myself and all of them are more intelligent than the media.
4 people like this
@marguicha (230350)
• Chile
5 Dec
@JudyEv When I sell my house I´ll have enough money to look for a good one.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
I guess it depends on the facility as to how easy it is to maintain some degree of indepenedence from the others there.
1 person likes this
@Rimps85 (3209)
• India
5 Dec
yes, getting along with others is key
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502491)
• Italy
5 Dec
I have seen many people with a form of dementia in those aged care facilities. For sure I would prefer to eat alone in my room that try to socialize with them. European Churches are often very decorated.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502491)
• Italy
5 Dec
@JudyEv - Some churches in Italy are also over ornate, even those in small towns and in the countryside. A cousin of my husband was in a senior home for a while and she preferred to eat alone.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
This lady was used to eating alone so it didn't bother her to continue doing so. The churches over there were very ornate.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
@LadyDuck I remember going to Melk and being overwhelmed by its opulence. I couldn't help thinking of how many hungry children could have been fed with just a portion of its wealth.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (174482)
• United States
5 Dec
I'm glad her daughter stepped up for her. Some people prefer to eat alone and are more comfortable not socializing with people they don't know.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
Exactly. I'd probably prefer eating alone.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (174482)
• United States
5 Dec
@JudyEv When I worked at Walmart, I was tired of talking to people when it was time for my breaks and lunch, so I'd take my lunch to a corner of the room and read while I ate. After a while, people stopped trying to talk to me in there.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
@DaddyEvil I'd feel much the same. Too much talking drains my energy.
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
5 Dec
I can understand why she wouldn't want to eat with others.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
It makes a lot of sense in this case.
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
5 Dec
@JudyEv Yes, it does.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222417)
• United States
5 Dec
This is going to sound very selfish; but I don't care, for the most part, associating with people my age that act "old". Mainly because my mind is still sharp, even though my body is falling apart. lol I'm not ready to leave my home and move into a senior facility as so many here would like me to do.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Dec
It doesn't sound selfish at all. I would feel exactly the same as you.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222417)
• United States
6 Dec
@JudyEv I'm glad to hear that.
1 person likes this
@Rimps85 (3209)
• India
5 Dec
Some are tuned in to be within themselves...I guess that should be fine
2 people like this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
She had been on her own for so long, it was 'normal' for her. If she'd had to eat with others, she would have needed to adjust.
@Rimps85 (3209)
• India
5 Dec
@JudyEv right
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (40976)
• Philippines
5 Dec
It is a very beautiful church, and its design appears to be more in line with traditional Catholic architecture, reminiscent of the way older churches were constructed. It is unfortunate that the mother was more introverted, but for someone with a similar personality, it is understandable why she might choose to remain behind, preferring solitude over being in a crowd. Additionally, considering that she seems to have some form of dementia, it is important to respect her preference for minimal interaction, as social engagement may not be beneficial for her condition and could cause discomfort, making her inclination to stay in her own space a reasonable choice.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec
She didn't have dementia but just about all the other residents were affected to a greater or lesser degree. She now lives with her son as she is well into her 90s.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (40976)
• Philippines
9 Dec
@JudyEv I guess she’s just like me, an introvert who’s too shy to mingle with others. I think the culture she came from could definitely have influenced her to be that way and not being having dementia.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (120752)
• United States
5 Dec
I realize that would have helped those with dementia, but her well being is just as important. She shouldn’t be pressured to do anything she didn’t want to. The photo is beautiful.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Dec
I can understand that trying to chat with others after so long alone could be quite stressful for her, especially given their mental condition.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (91297)
• United States
5 Dec
That church is astounding Judy! Yes the lady I understand.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Dec
The churches over there were so ornate. I was open-mouthed with wonder and awe at the decorations.
@wolfgirl569 (135770)
• Marion, Ohio
5 Dec
After living alone for all that time I understand wanting to be alone
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Dec
I can understand her viewpoint too.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (98004)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Dec
Hey, I have no been totaly alone for quite some time and I am OK with that other people might not be but I have learned to manage and just go on with life,
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Dec
I enjoy my 'alone' time more and more as I get older. I guess I'm getting more intolerant and less patient.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec
It's funny that you mentioned that because my mom was alone for so many years that she had a preference for eating alone too. She would join us for a family dinner etc but when it was just her and me living together she liked to eat in her room and watch tv. What a beautiful church
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Dec
This lady didn't have a problem eating with family but I can understand she wouldn't really want to sit with a heap of people with dementia.
@Dreamerby (10111)
• Calcutta, India
6 Dec
Wow the church looks magnificent. I have always liked the way white and gold textures blend in!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
7 Dec
The churches over there are very ornate. Mind-blowingly so.
14 Dec
Every habit requires some aggressiveness and determination to stop them from wrecking havoc.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382104)
• Rockingham, Australia
15 Dec
Yes, that's true.