Does your happiness depend on others
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (370419)
Rockingham, Australia
January 28, 2026 7:31am CST
Carrying on from my staying home on my own for a fortnight while Vince is off taking photos in Thailand, I read a book once about being happy. The only part I really remember is that you shouldn’t rely on someone else to make you happy.
It’s an unfair load on them and it may be impossible for them to always come up to your expectations. You need to rely on your own resources. It must have resonated with me for me to remember it for so long. Or course, it depends on the circumstances a little. You can hardly be happy if someone is treating you badly but in general terms, this book said it was up to the individual to create their own sphere of happiness.
I’ve known people who can't be happy unless their partner/spouse is with them and to each his own but I can see the positive side of being responsible for your own contentment. Have I over-simplified it in my thinking maybe? What do you think?
Another photo from Thailand. The tribesman in the front was showing us his knife.
12 people like this
12 responses
@AmbiePam (111520)
• United States
28 Jan
Oh, a person is in trouble if they are depending on someone else for their happiness. And that is an unfair expectation to put on anyone. I don’t think you can truly be happy with someone else unless you learn to be happy by yourself first.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (184901)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Jan
The book has its merits. I look at these things this way: You work on yourself and get to a place where you can have a good and solid relationship with someone. You find that someone. They make your life more pleasant than it would be normally. You enjoy their presence in your life. Alone time is nurturing for yourself but our routines and the way life comes together is contingent on that other person being in the mix. It's not that you would be horribly lonely and despondent necessarily if he wasn't there but there would be this void that it would be very hard to fill without this person with his quirks and such. It's not that the spouse makes us whole, it is that our whole is whole because they add to what we have already established. Am I making any sense?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (184901)
• Boise, Idaho
12h
@JudyEv ........Yes, they do and that is sad. So much intense emotion and immaturity there.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (212431)
• United States
28 Jan
My happy times were always the best with my husband.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (370419)
• Rockingham, Australia
29 Jan
@LindaOHio Many people like to be around others I know. I'm lucky that I don't mind being alone.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (92853)
• Bangalore, India
28 Jan
I agree to that totally. And with experience and age, I have realized that no one can actually make you happy unless you choose your own way to stay engaged and happy. I love my friends and family, I love to socialize. But when I am alone, I am not sad. I am happy with my engagement and hobbies.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (92853)
• Bangalore, India
29 Jan
@JudyEv That is very true. I remember my grandpa saying that happiness is intangible, it is not a situation or something to be measured and compared with others. It's a choice, it's a state of mind
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (202116)
• United States
28 Jan
I think it is perfectly fine to be content with your own company.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (370419)
• Rockingham, Australia
29 Jan
Very few of us would always have someone around keeping us entertained.
@JudyEv (370419)
• Rockingham, Australia
29 Jan
I used to feel very insecure and had no self-confidence. I'm a bit better now thank goodness.
@wolfgirl569 (128751)
• Marion, Ohio
28 Jan
I feel you can't make others happy if you are not happy with yourself. It works the other way too. If you are not happy with yourself no one else can make you happy
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (27841)
• Singapore
28 Jan
I have realized from my own experience our happiness should come from within and not depend on others.
I have worked with morose people who spread negativity but by doing the right thing, I am able to accept them and move on.
I also believe the reward for our actions should come from doing what is right and to benefit others more.
That way, I have managed to find balance and fulfillment.
1 person likes this
@nicegolden (364)
• Shenzhen, China
28 Jan
I think it's very good to have a me time,in fact,it's important to me
1 person likes this
