What do you say?
By Fleur
@Fleura (33685)
United Kingdom
February 1, 2026 3:22am CST
Following on from my last post… What do you say when someone shares their bad news with you?
Yesterday a friend (my co-conspirator in the props department!) told me she has breast cancer.
What would you say under these circumstances?
Obviously I didn’t say ‘Oh my God my friend had that and within 18 months she was dead’.
I tried to strike a balance between sympathy at bad news and a positive attitude towards the treatment. But then I wondered afterwards if I appeared to make light of the situation inappropriately?
Sometimes I do find saying the ‘right thing’ difficult. I hope I can show my support with messages and visits over the next few weeks.
All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2026.
11 people like this
11 responses
@wolfgirl569 (128835)
• Marion, Ohio
3h
You never know exactly what to say. Mostly just listening and being there is what helps
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (111690)
• United States
5h
Well, the important thing is you didn’t act like she was dying. The last thing anyone needs is a case of the dramatics, which is not you anyway. I imagine you handled it appropriately. It’s got to be natural to second guess your words in such an important conversation.
2 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (17138)
• China
4h
If it were me,I would also be at a loss for words of consolation. Sending messages and visits can comfort your friend in a way.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (166710)
• United States
7h
I tell the person I'm sorry they have it and hope everything works out well for them. There is never a "best way" to offer sympathy and support at the same time. It's whatever you think best serves the situation at that time.
Simply acknowledge the situation, offer support if you know the person and move on quickly to other matters.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (212510)
• United States
6h
It's never an easy situation. I always express my sympathy and tell the person that I hope things turn out well.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (167528)
• United States
3h
A big hug and an "I am here if you need me", or better yet, if you are able to, name a specific thing you can do. "I will drive with you to treatments". " I will listen."
@toniganzon (72886)
• Philippines
7h
If it's family or a close friend, I'd probably just give them a hug. I don't know what to say in such situation too.
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (14159)
• Ireland
3h
@fleura It’s hard to know how others are taking the news themselves. When our daughter was born with Down Syndrome people were very dark and somber when I met them and didn’t know what to say because they assumed I was devastated and that what had happened was just awful. However I was just so happy to have another daughter and I was full of joy. It was actually quite a revelation to see the many reactions. Now I just accept that I’m going to put my foot in it when I talk to people and blether on regardless. When one of my parishioners told me her daughter had a child with Down Syndrome I said “Oh that’s lovely” and soon realised that’s not what she wanted to hear.
@JudyEv (370500)
• Rockingham, Australia
3h
Sincerity tends to shine through I think but it is difficult.
