weaponised incompetence

household responsibilities

Weaponised incompetence - ever heard of it?

@JudyEv (382107)

Rockingham, Australia

February 8, 2026 7:41am CST

The photo has nothing to do with the post. I read a very interesting article the other day on ‘weaponised incompetence’. This is when one person avoids or refuses to do a task by saying they’re not good at it. They use their so-called incompetence as an excuse. It can result in one person bearing the brunt of responsibilities in running a house, caring for children, preparing reports in an office, etc. Continually making excuses to avoid helping leads to resentment and frustration. We share most tasks but I found the whole article very interesting. I’ve known people, both men and women, who do virtually everything in the house as well as looking after the children, ferrying them here and there to various activities. If you want to read more about it, here is a link. It’s not the article I first read but one I found later. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/weaponized-incompetence

19 people like this

16 responses

@DianneN (254926)

• United States

8 Feb

Fortunately, I don’t know anyone like that.

3 people like this

@moffittjc (128835)

• Gainesville, Florida

8 Feb

Have you been to a Walmart lately? It's literally every associate that works there! LOL

2 people like this

@DianneN (254926)

• United States

8 Feb

No, because I am not a Walmart shopper.

2 people like this

@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I sometimes hear of women here at the village a bit p**ed off because they're spending their retirement baby-sitting for their kids.

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@LadyDuck (502478)

• Italy

8 Feb

I never heard and I just asked AI "Weaponized incompetence is when someone pretends to be incapable of performing tasks to avoid responsibility". I think I know someone doing this all the time.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

It's interesting to think about, isn't it? There seems to be a name now for a great many behaviours that never had a name before.

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@LadyDuck (502478)

• Italy

9 Feb

@JudyEv I wonder if we have an Italian word for that... I found it "incompetenza strumentalizzata". Never heard before.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

@LadyDuck Is it a recognised behaviour there do you think?

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@AmbiePam (120738)

• United States

8 Feb

It makes me think of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond (don’t know if that made it to Australia). The main guy told his brother to fake doing his wedding invitations poorly so his fiancée would take away all of his responsibilities for planning the wedding and all he would have to do is show up. Only, those poorly done wedding invitations were mistakenly sent, and they were embarrassingly awful. For real life, I think dads get out of changing diapers this way. Not as much as they did years ago, but I’ll still hear men say their wives change diapers more often because their wives “are better at it”. I find that to be bull.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

We did have the show here but I never watched it. I'm sure many men would try to get out of changing diapers but they'd be equally as good at it if they wanted to do it. I think the present generation of men are much more involved with bringing up the kids than they were in my time. I see them taking them to and from school; taking babies for walks; helping youngsters with their bikes but I also think many would think it okay to at least try to get out of changing nappies.

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@AmbiePam (120738)

• United States

9 Feb

@JudyEv I think that’s exactly right about the younger generation.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Feb

@AmbiePam To be fair, who wouldn't want to get out of changing nappies?

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@RebeccasFarm (91297)

• United States

8 Feb

Yes I have experienced it..

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@RebeccasFarm (91297)

• United States

15 Feb

@JudyEv Oh it sure is Judy.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I can imagine it's hard to counteract.

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@Ronrybs (21497)

• London, England

8 Feb

I have been hearing it a lot just lately. Must be word of the weel!

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

Yes, I think you're right. 'Influencer' is another word that is having its time in the sun too.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

10 Feb

@Ronrybs And another week picking up doggy poo for those who don't!

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@Ronrybs (21497)

• London, England

9 Feb

@JudyEv I think people who desrible themselves as influencer need to spend a week on litter patrol!

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@Ineeddentures (34535)

•

9 Feb

I do that all the time Judy. Sorry, not good at that.

2 people like this

@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I found the article interesting. There is a name for every type of behaviour nowadays.

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@GardenGerty (169474)

• United States

8 Feb

Yes, I have heard of it, and I have seen it. Not w pretty picture.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

Certainly I know some women who are still spending their later years caring for kids - but grandkids. Helping out is okay but some young mums abuse the privilege. And I know a woman who lets her husband do everything.

@pahak627 (5347)

• Philippines

9 Feb

So that is weaponized incompetence. I remember when I was still young, I was so lazy doing things that was my excuse that I was not good at the task that was given to me. I will read that article later. Thanks for that info.

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@pahak627 (5347)

• Philippines

9 Feb

@JudyEv I'm doing all the household chores. That was my attitude when I was still young. When I was still a child. We were 6 kids in the family and each of us has our own task. That was only my way of evading my tasks.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

Have you stayed in that role or do you now do some of the chores in your household?

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@rebelann (117226)

• El Paso, Texas

8 Feb

I have friends like that. She does all the house work while he works on classic cars. The problem I see is that when it's time for holidays he does all the decorating which is usually overdone and not really all that appealing as he thinks it is. I've never mentioned it to her, she probably doesn't even notice.

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@rebelann (117226)

• El Paso, Texas

9 Feb

You're correct of course. I have no way of knowing if she's happy with all of that, I know I wouldn't be

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I think it depends a bit on if they're happy with how the tasks are divided. If one isn't happy, then they're probably resentful and a bit upset from time to time.

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@RasmaSandra (98005)

• Daytona Beach, Florida

8 Feb

Have never met anyone like that, I have learned the being totally on my own I have to just keep on doing what I am doing no matter how I am doing it or I have to learn to do it,

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I can imagine you've learnt to be very independent. You have no other options.

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@xFiacre (14785)

• Ireland

9 Feb

@judyev There’s a fancy name for everything!

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

There is indeed. There are all sorts of behaviours I've never heard of.

@moffittjc (128835)

• Gainesville, Florida

8 Feb

It seems like everyone I work with is like that. Nobody wants to work anymore, and just keeps making excuses to get out of doing anything.

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@moffittjc (128835)

• Gainesville, Florida

13 Feb

@JudyEv It's a sad world we live in where people don't want to work, and take no pride in the work they do.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

'Weaponsied incompetence' has come into the vocabulary and 'work ethic' is quickly becoming a thing of the past.

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@Shiva49 (28380)

• Singapore

9 Feb

In Asian societies, most household work fell on women. In fact, I was not encouraged to do any cooking at all when young. Things have changed a lot, though this attitude is prevalent in the villages. Nowadays, most women work outside just like men do, and so it is only fair that household chores are shared.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

It was the accepted way of life once. Women bore the brunt of housework and child-raising and men worked and brought in the money. Things have changed a bit since then.

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@LindaOHio (222362)

• United States

9 Feb

An interesting concept. This is the first I've heard of it.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I found it interesting. I'll be observing people around me with more interest now.

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@snowy22315 (208914)

• United States

8 Feb

That is friend in a nutshell. Then he wonders why nobody wants to hang out with him. Gee. I wonder..?

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

It's interesting, isn't it? I can see myself 'people watching' with this in mind.

I often said our sons as boys would do things badly so they wouldn't get asked again. It didn't have a name back then.

@wolfgirl569 (135744)

• Marion, Ohio

8 Feb

Never heard that term but have known people like that.

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@JudyEv (382107)

• Rockingham, Australia

9 Feb

I found the idea quite intriguing. I know a few where this is happening but I didn't know there was a name for it.

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