~Showers, Peace for Some & A Trigger for Others~

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A shower...trigger. There are some things nobody prepares you for after the abuser is out of the picture. Who knew saying the word "shower" could be a trigger? The reason? That was a strong place of abuse. I wasn't "able" to take one alone. It was a place where I felt the most violated. If I got in alone, I was soon met with the presence of another. If I fought the situation by arguing or if I got out, after the shower I was made to feel like trash, a disrespectful person and a "horrible wife". After the shower I wasn't left feeling clean and refreshed like most people do. Instead I was left feeling guilty, alone, ashamed and worthless. So, I think it will take time and God's healing before the shower no longer gives my stomach that feeling and no longer makes my heart race. The crazy thing is I didn't even realize it was still a place that needed healing until LAST NIGHT. It's been almost two months of freedom and this ugly shackle just reared itself last night. Wow. There's still much to surrender to the Lord on this healing journey, more to come I am sure of it. One day at a time...some days one moment at a time. And that's okay, healing doesn't have the same timeline for everyone. Do you need prayer for anything? I'd love to pray for you!