A phone call at 2am and the Ultimate Walk of Shame LONG

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Anyone who reads my posts regularly knows where this is going. Avert your eyes if you disapprove. The past couple of days have sort of passed in a daze (no pun intended). I'm getting back to my usual schedule after not being here for 2 months. I've been unpacking all sorts of goodies that were delivered in my absence. (more on that later) I've been taking baths and naps. I actually thought yesterday was Thursday until a new friend texted me. Anyway the nap must have done me well even though I went to bed much earlier than I normally would have back in my heyday on a Friday night. I don't know if I woke up because I had to use the bathroom or because the phone was vibrating. . . but my ex was calling me at 2am. That's not a normal thing these days so I was afraid that he needed help or someone died. Nope. I answered and he said "are you awake?" I said "I am now." His reply: "then open the door." There he was on the landing. Um okay creeper. Things progressed as they normally do. Nothing new there. I never ask him about the state or non-state of his relationships. He explicitly said to me before I started my 2 month adventure that he would help me as much as possible but he had "a personal life". I was like "yes I am very well aware of that". I can gauge that by the frequency/infrequency of his texts and visits. He was very much there for me during it all. He handled some financial stuff, some work documents, bringing me some things I needed, and of course the nightly 9:15pm phone calls. I don't know for certain but it seems that the little lady didn't take too kindly to that. . . and I'm not that sad about it. Now here's where the whole thing gets absurd. While I was gone my neighbor, mother, and family took it upon themselves to clean the apartment. I mean I don't think it looked like a hole but apparently their OCD selves did. A nightstand was moved several inches from its typical spot (muscle memory) and I may or may not have tripped over a pair of shoes that aren't normally on that side of the bed--causing me to fall on the night stand and then between it and the bed. Thank Darwin I'm not one of those psychos who has cameras in every room! Yeah so I looked AMAZING taking out some garbage today. Ultimate Walk of Shame. Going to have to make up a more appropriate story than a booty call for the black eye when I return to work on Wed.