Would you let someone online do this...

United States
July 1, 2007 1:54pm CST
I have been talking to this person for 6+ years online and we both know each other rather well. Although we haven't met each other and are on opposite sides of the country - are rather good friends (only real online friend I have actually). Well I was goofing around with him showing him an underwear site I liked and he told me to pick out $200 worth of stuff and he would send it to me. I asked my boyfriend what he thought about it and he said he doesn't care. However, I'm still wondering - Is it wise to let a guy buy $200 worth of mostly undergarments for me? Would you let a guy do that for you? (of if your a guy ... would you do that?)
9 people like this
26 responses
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I would thank him for offering and decline. That is a very large gift to accept from a man that is not your boyfriend. I can't imagine your boyfriend being ok with this really. It all sounds a bit weird to me but that is just my opinion.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 07
Yes, 200 is a lot of money. And shockingly enough - my boyfriend does seem fine with it. Thank you for your reply however - right now I am letting the conversation my friend and I had lay. If he brings it up I will probably suggest another site that won't cost as much and have less contraversial merchandise.
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
1 Jul 07
I guess most people on your discussion say to take the undies... Me, I would say no. Firstly, this means, yes, he would then have your address. Although you are friends for a long time hoenstly, what is he like in the real world? Secondly, if he buys you the undies he may then... I don't know want you to put them on and "show them off to him"-even though he knows you have a boyfriend or then he might think that you owe him a favour. Thirdly, I think it is better to leave money and monetary things and matters out of friendship, somehow it does end up screwing stuff up. I don't know, he could be completely innocent and wanting to show you how much he values your friendship but I think a bouquet of flowers or a nice card would say this sentiment more than undies. Undies are something our significant other ONLY should buy us for a gift. Would you want your hunnie getting undies as a gift from some lady online?
• United States
2 Jul 07
Thank you so much for your detailed answer. I'm not sure how I would feel about someone giving my boy undies - he needs them though! lol I think they only real reason he picked underwear is because of the site I happened to be on at the time.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jul 07
Ultimately, this is your friend of 6 years, you know him better than anyone of us and anything we say is just guesses lol. Although I wouldn't personally do it, you may get $200.00 werth of undies out of it.... I dont' know about you but I LOVE undies lol.
@darkness01 (1304)
1 Jul 07
The good thing is that you get $200 worth of stuff for free. The bad thing is that the person that is going to send you the stuff needs to know your adress and may then decide to stalk you or something freeky like that. If it were me i would go ahead and let the person send me the stuff whatever it was. However, being a guy myself i would NEVER consider buying $200 of underwear for a lady i know only by chatting to them over a instant messaging service, no matter how long i had been talking to them.
@patgalca (14649)
• Orangeville, Ontario
1 Jul 07
You do have a point with giving out the address. Perhaps a post office box could be used.
• United States
1 Jul 07
Well he's had my address for awhile and never done anything. We've sent birthday gifts (never more than $15 though!) and he has bought items from my jewelry store. I know - I told my friend to sleep on it and see if he still wants to. I also took this time to tell my boyfriend what was going on expecting him to tell me not to do it. Instead he said he didn't mind because I was getting stuff....
@breepeace (3027)
• Canada
2 Jul 07
Go for it! You've got nothing to lose, and $200 worth of slinky underwear to gain! :) If he's already got your address and he offered -- go nuts! Maybe he's just trying to be a good friend and get you something you really like to help you out. If you've been chatting for that long, chances are he considers you quite a good friend. Absolutely the only thing I'd worry about is him asking you to model the wares when you're done. If he's the kind of friend that would respect your boundaries, and the fact that you're in a long term relationship, then he probably won't, but some men are strange that way. If it's possible for you to tell him that's an absolute no-go because it would make you uncomfortable, then it probably won't be an issue. I had an online friend send me $100 for groceries last year when I was down on my luck with the stipulation that I never brought it up again, and because I was desperate I accepted the money. It's not underwear, but if someone OFFERED to buy me new undergarments because my bras were tatty and my underwear was done, I'd probably accept.
• United States
2 Jul 07
I think this is exactly it - thank goodness finally someone else who has accepted a gift from someone that was a "stranger" as previously posted. I doubt he would ask for risque pictures of me - maybe a picture of me in a shirt but that's it. It isn't exactly easy for me to get pictures anyway. I doubt he would argue if I said no to that either.... at most an "aww...ok" lol
• United States
2 Jul 07
in a word NOI!if you already have a boy friend then you are decieving this guy on line into feeling he has a chance of more and in effect it is cheating with both of them
• United States
2 Jul 07
How is this cheating if both of them know about each other and both of them are included in the conversations I have with each of them? I mean this - as soon as I saw my boyfriend... I told him what my friend and my conversation had been about earlier. This is when he said he wouldn't mind me receiving a gift like this. I do not feel as if I am deceiving my friend online as we have known each other for a long time and he hears about my boyfriend often.
2 Jul 07
All i would say is be wary of this person, firstly do you know know who this person really is, i mean have you confirmed he is who he is saying he is? Secondly i would say maybe you should look at this with a different perspective, what if it was a friend who you saw everyday and whom you know physically rather then virtually, and he knew you had a boyfriend and yet he bought you underwear, wouldn't you find that offensive? Why doesn't he buy you a normal gift like a watch, or cuddly toy, etc, To me it seems he's intent on having more then a friendship with you
• United States
2 Jul 07
Yes I know who he is - I've seen him on webcam once and I know for a fact (yes I have proof) that he is in the military. I have no doubt of this - unlike other people I have spent time talking to online. If the gift of underwear was from a friend who knew I really needed/wanted them and didn't just spring it up on me... no I wouldn't find this offensive. However, I'm the type of person who doesn't like gifts that make no sense - aka cuddly toys. The reason he picked underwear was because that happened to be the site I was on at the time - I doubt it would really faze him if I suggested another site if this happens in the future.
• United States
2 Jul 07
I don't think I could let an online friend buy me $200 worth of intimate apparel. I would be thinking that he's picturing me in them and that's just too freaky. But I probably wouldn't of been showing him the site anyways. LOL Hey, to each their own. You're braver than me!
• United States
2 Jul 07
haha - brave? Thanks for the comment!
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I would be troubled by that. I would also be troubled that the sweetheart is indifferent to it.
• United States
2 Jul 07
Yes, I asked him if he knew that that was a lot of money. He said he was fine - I asked if he had money in savings enough for at least 2 months to pay his expenses if something happened...he said yes and that I shouldn't worry about it.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
2 Jul 07
Oh i would love if someone would do that for me. Lol. But i really think that you should find out what this guy feels for you, because i do not think that it is normal for a guy to buy a women under clothes, unless he is interesting in her. I suggest that you will talk with him about that.
• United States
2 Jul 07
We have talked about that stuff before actually. He knows that I live with my boyfriend of almost 3 years and respects that. He - I believe was simply offering a gift of something he knew I wanted.
@rachel83 (101)
• Australia
2 Jul 07
hi! it depends who you will be showing this underwear to doesn't it? sounds to me like this internet guy wants to see it, in which case i would be wary of him because i can't imagine he would buy you it just so that your boyfriend can see it and he can't?!!
• United States
2 Jul 07
I doubt he'd even care to see it. If I got clothes then I'd probably send him a pic (if I had one that is) but he'd understand the whole underwear thing. Like I said - it just happened to be an underwear site - if he brings it up again (right now I'm just letting it hang) I'll suggest another site probably.
@pillusch (1149)
• Mexico
1 Jul 07
Well, it might just be a gesture of appreciation. Everybody is so suspicious nowadays, and I guess with reason, but I think we sometimes over-do it. You said he is your friend, and you've been 'talking' to him for 6 years. I just doubt that your perception of that friend was so wrong for such a long time. It's easy to make a gift, to accept a gift is a challenge for many of us.
• United States
2 Jul 07
Very true - at first I was taken aback... then thought it was cool... then that it was going overbounds...then realized my mind was going everywhere! lol
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
1 Jul 07
Well it could mean a couple of things.. he wants to see you on the web cam or he wants you just to be happy plain and simple. I am thinking it is the later. Don't worry if he has had your address for this long and isn't stalking you then you are fine. I think you and your boyfriend have a very good relationship that you can tell him this and he be ok with it. So let your friend do this for you and enjoy them. It is always nice to have new pretty things.
• United States
2 Jul 07
Thank You for understanding he isn't a stalker! Neither of us have web cams and haven't even talked about getting them. Heck - not even microphones! Thank you for your reply.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
1 Jul 07
It sounds rather strange to me! Why underwear?. When there are so may other things he could have chosen.I'd play it cool if I were you. I'm sure I could find a more appropriate gift for a friend!
• United States
2 Jul 07
He offered to buy me underwear because I was looking at a wholesale site for underwear. The products were cheap but they had a $200 min order. He told me to pick out what I wanted... I was taken aback.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
1 Jul 07
People have actually done that to me, Though sometimes i am scared of giving out my mail address mainly where i used to live they could of found me. Though i do have trust in some people that i talk to on-line.. So yes i have had people buy me things not because i wanted them too because they wanted too.. I've gotten things from a web-cam (which aren't cheap the good ones anyway) to undergarments.. The person i mean must really have to like you in order to spend money on you wouldn't you think?
• United States
2 Jul 07
Yep - he has called me his best friend for quite a while now. We haven't done anything besides chat and send a couple packages to each other. I'm not sure if he really is just wanting to buy me something he knows I will like or if he really does want to buy me underwear - since that just happened to be what I was looking at at the time.
@patgalca (14649)
• Orangeville, Ontario
1 Jul 07
Does this guy know you have a boyfriend? Is he just messing with you perhaps, meaning he won't really do it? Why would he drop $200 on someone he doesn't know or is not in a relationship with? I am just wondering if you are leading this guy on, or setting yourself up for trouble. I am surprised your boyfriend is agreeable to this. I wouldn't like it if it were the other way around - some girl sending underwear to my boyfriend/husband. Take the gift if you like but make sure this guy has no expectations from you.
• United States
1 Jul 07
Oh he knows I have a boyfriend - I live with him. We have been dating for almost 3 years now so it's kind of hard not to let that come up at some point. I don't know why he would do that - which kind of fed to this post actually.
1 Jul 07
that's pretty kinky if u ask me...i say y not, u get $200 worth of free stuff that u can use 2 get UR boyfriend going.
• United States
1 Jul 07
lol - see THATS mainly why I was looking at the site - he just caught me off guard because I have always showed him stuff I want online.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
2 Jul 07
Iwould definately not accept. Underwear for me is very intimate and if I had a relation this would be crossing the line. I would NOT like it if some girl shopped things for my man either. I cant see why a friend would want to buy you underwear of all the things he can choose from =)
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Why on earth would you discuss let alone show a complete stranger youe preference in underware? Untill you have met and spent time with someone they are still strangers. The thing about internet friends and so forth is that they and you don't really put out the eal you.every one keeps certain parts of them selves hidden. And just because you've talked with this person for 6 years dosen't mean he is trust worthy. and just what kind of message do you think you are sending him showing him the underwear you like. any way thats my opinion and you did ask for opinions.
• China
2 Jul 07
i am a guy and i will not do that? why should i do that?
• United States
2 Jul 07
no i would not