Final decision !!!,,,,What's your opinion ???

United States
July 1, 2007 9:04pm CST
I made a final serious decision about taking all my "friends" OUT of my life. Honestly NON of them are giving me positive things to my life. Im realy tired and,i feel betrayed from all of them in one way or another. Im going to be all alone once again in my life,,its not going to be the first time. ( im not meaning mylot friends,,i mean real life friends!!!) What do you think about this decision??
4 people like this
20 responses
• United States
3 Jul 07
I gotta say I am so sorry for this happening to you. I mean I don't know what you friends did but, you had to make that difficult decision to be lonely. I think it was right of you if they were really awful to you. But think hard, and make sure ALL your friends did things that are non forgivable and deserve to be kicked out of your life. And if you get rid of them all, you can always make new friends! Go out and meet new people :) Don't give up hope.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 07
thanks so much,,thats what i have the most,,,HOPE!
• United States
3 Jul 07
:) Hope is always good! It will be easier to make new friends than it is to get rid of exsisting friends. You just have to be nice and approachable! You won't be lonely for long! :)
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
That's one big move there. Haven't you thought that just maybe they're right about what they say to you? I don't want to put more flame in your anger in them, but isn't it a little weird that you'd consider that ALL OF THEM are crappy? What sort of friends do you have anyways? For me, sometimes, you should look at life at somebody else's eyes. Haven't you thought that maybe it's you who's got the problem and not them? I mean talk about creepiness. All of them vs. you. Why? Are you some sort of super human being? Don't you know that most of the time, birds of the same feather flock together? Maybe you betrayed them too? Well, that's just my point of view. All I can say is, no matter how many times in your life you change a number of friends, burn and build bridges of friends. But if it's you who's the problem, everything will all be the same, regardless who your friends are. Think about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 07
in a way its my fault,for choosing the wrong kind of friends,,they are not in a good path and im not better than anybody,but this is going to make good to my life, im not judging them at all,,just that im gonna be well safe without their company. I hope you understand.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
Oh that's nice to know. At least you know what you want with your life. Just don't make that same mistake when looking for new friends. Plus you don't need to openly say you don't want them as friends anymore. Learning to say NO from the path they lead you is a good way to let them know you don't like their company anymore. Good luck to you searching for true friends. Happy posting.
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
2 Jul 07
I would be asking my self why? Is there something about me that allows people to treat me and betray me. I am only surmising as you have given very little information other than this seems to have happened before, I am not saying you are to blame. I an asking what is it that gives people the idea that it is alright to do this to you, For myself, I know it was because I had no self esteem and was very needy, And I learned how to change that, but as I said I do not know you or have enough information, and to guess, would very likely end up hurting you rather than helping. I know that in almost every instance I set my self up and people saw this and took advantage. I do hope you are able to find out what is going on and be willing to look at it. and I do wish you well.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 07
the same thing happens to my dad,almost everybody betray him..i think its because you are so good and humble and some bad people abuse from that... thanks for your good wishes to me
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
think things over and if they're more of a negative influence on you then let them go. but don't let them go just because of some minor disagreement. we may regret those decisions that were made on impulse. friends would hurt us eventually, i think it's imminent. but let's not let go of them just because they did. think about the long time you held on to that friendship and what it was worth then. if you're able to look back at the old times and still think that they're more destructive then constructive, then by all means dump them.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 07
hmm,,belive me,,its not minor disagreements,,,im talking big serious dangers and bad things for my health,,not mentioning that some of them have problems with the DEA and FBI,,,now, what do you say?????
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
The reason why they are called friends is that they are your shoulder to cry on - will stand by and be the best they could for their friend. Good for you to realize that they don't make a good company. Don't worry, you'll soon find a best friend or friends. Just be yourself and win friends for who and what you are. Believe me all of us have and could have good friends =). Count me as one.
• United States
2 Jul 07
...thanks for all your support people!!!,,,today i will change my phone number,,its ringing and i simply WONT pick it up,,i know who it is. I CAN"T belive the weird peace i feel right now,zero stress,wow!. Im proud of myself about all this.Its gonna be hard to find friends now because i just not the kind of person who goes out to bars or church or the park or the mall and so and so....well let me see where i start!
@jahvo6 (623)
• Peru
2 Jul 07
Well, it´s a big decision and I understand it, I hope you can find someone that really is a good person and keep him or her.
1 person likes this
@gotcho0O (1258)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Sorry to hear that. I had the same situation that's why I don't trust my friends anymore but I still care since I love them. Being alone is not good though, since everyone needs to have someone. Let's just put it in the quote "no man is in island". I think, you need to let go them if you can't take it anymore but you can still be their friends but just don't trust them anymore.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
2 Jul 07
ifu feel that your friends are not a positive influence and that thebetray you - you really are alone with or without them. There are good people out there that I am sure wanna be your friend that will NOT hurt you or make u feel bad. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Since you give absolutely no background on the extent of the problems with all of your friends, I have no way of giving you my thoughts. I would say that if indeed all of your friends have been draining all of your energy, then perhaps you made the correct decision. Now, you must spend some time evaluating why you chose those people to be friends in the first place and how you can avoid allowing those kinds of relationships from forming again. I can tell you that when I was very young I also deliberately excluded people from my life who were completely self serving and took advantage of me. It took me a long time to value myself enough to find people who I feel are my equal. I don't have many friends, but quantity is unimportant. It's quality that matters and in that regard I am very rich.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
2 Jul 07
When I was younger i ran with quite a wild group of people. in fact, i married one of them. oh wait...I was also one of them. Then I had children and grew up(yes..in that order) and that lifestyle just didn't fit anymore. I did not give up all my friends but I did change my habits. As a result my friendships with these people did change considerably. Years later, many of them have also gone through changes and we run into each other and hang out and remember the fun times we shared. it's ok to move on from your friends and from what you are saying maybe it is the best choice for you right now. Just do it in a kind way. Down the road you will be glad that you did . You may not have room for their friendships right now but you definitly don't want enemyships either. Good luck and keep us posted on how this works out for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 07
i think you need to take your attention off of self and ask are you contributing anything to the friendships they cannot be just one sided a friend will give as well as recieve !
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Well at first I was going to ask you to reconsider but after reading your reasons through it is probably best that you do find new friends. It sounds like these are trouble. I have made friends with some people before that I regret letting into my life. I have learned to be more careful about choosing friends. Some times its hard to tell though until you are close to someone what they are really like. Just be cautious.
1 person likes this
@maiax2k6 (535)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
you of all people know your friends better and you make your own choices too. so if you feel that what you will be doing is to your own benifit, then it's all up to you. make the best out of the situations, open yourself to more opportunities out there, find some more well-meaning friends,a dn there you go. it might take a while, bit to find a diamond, you have to break tonsfull of rocks.
1 person likes this
@maybel13 (205)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
You said you're talking about your "real friends". SO, you probably treat them as really your real friends. As what I know, you can call a friend real if they bring you into good, but according to your story, non them are giving you positive things in your life so they must be a bad influence to you. I would rather say that your decision is just right for your goods sake. There are som many kinds of friends. One, is what you just mentioned as real friend. This kind of firneds are those who stays at your through happiness and sadness as well. They give you streghth whenever your down. And most especially, they influences your life for good. Tehre are also friends that stays during hang-outs, but you never rely on them during the times that you need them. So they cannot be called as good friends. Usually this kind of friends are always near you and ironically, those real friends are sometimes miles away from you but they can still be a good friend to you. There are also kind of friends called as aquaintances, where in you just say hi or hello to them but you don't have any connections at all or even communications. Once again, your decision is just right. And I just hope you can find true friends.
@marababe (2513)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
Hi habichuelo! That is some big decision you have but honestly, I also feel that way. Not totally the SAME way but I got to the point where I kind of "reformatted" my friends list. Real life friends. I also had some so-called friends who are so self-centered, literally, that they think they are the only ones who have problems and stuff that it hit me to cut them OFF. They were really never a friend to me to begin with anyway, right? So there, do whatever you think's best for you and choose your friends carefully the next time. :)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
We feel the same right now. I experienced that also that nobody cares for you..especially your friends.. i feel also taken for granted.. but its not good to leave them..its better that they leave you than you leave them...I realized how wonderful to have friends. Dont matter if they treat you good or not..just like God said love each other. I know its not easy thing to do but believe me you will never be alone. We have different task in our lives my friend... if nobody cares for you always believe that our friend JESUS still there... Someday they will realized how much important you are in their lives... Take care and Godbless...
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
There's always a time in our lives that we get to realize the good and bad things happening in our lives, but it's not yet too late to do it so. You do what you think is right, what is best and what you know is good for you. Take your time, think deeper and maybe later you'd get to find some real good friends along the way..
@tombiz (2039)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
I agree and emphatize with you and what you are experiencing right now. I felt the same way too. I have been betrayed so many times by my so-called "friends". I was there when they all need my help but by the time it is my turn all of them are gone just like a bubble burst. It is really sad. I am alone too now. But I don't care about them. I already forgiven them all. But I will never ever trust them again. Hope we could be good friends here.
• United States
2 Jul 07
I know what you mean, and I had to do the same. It wasn't easy, and, at first, I felt guilty about it. With time, I've realized that it was the only way to maintain my calm, focus, and sanity. Don't think that you'll be 'alone'; think that you'll be free from all of the bullshit that came along with these friendships. Start over. Best of luck!
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Boy You must chose some crappy friends that they don't do any thing for you. I'ed get rid of all of them too. Afterall arn't friends supposed to do things for you? Just cut them aal off. Don't call them any more. Don't even give them a reson for your letting them go. After all who needs them anyway.. After all you've got your friends here on myLot What more do you need. Is that whhat you want to hear. I do know how you fel. I've been there with my family. They don't like me why should they. In reality it's not the friends or the family. It's us because we are depressed even when we know better. I get on my pitty pot every once in a while because I have'nt heard from some friendsor family for a while but guess what I can also make that call and I shouldn't alway have to waite for them to call. After aall they do have other people and things in their lives to.
1 person likes this