Help, Need Some Advice

I have come to the conclusion that it is never a good idea to loan anything out that you can't afford to lose. I gave in once and loaned a book that was very important to me to my best friend thinking it would be safe. The next thing I know she's in the middle of a heated divorce and I never saw the book again. She didn't mean to lose it, it just happened that way. I have never been in the position of being able to loan anyone money... I have always been the one needing the money. My sister didn't talk to me for almost 7 years over a bad loan. She felt taken advantage of, like I was doing it deliberately. I just never had the friggin' extra money to start paying her back. My mother had a lifetime friendship ruined over a measly 2000 dollars that she had loaned. I agree with most of the other responders here... consider it a gift and let it go. Not to save the friendship, as that is most likely already done for, but to save yourself gut churning stress. Pretend that you're wealthy and that you don't need the money, that will probably make it easier to let it go than dwelling on how much you need it yourself right now. My brother, before he left California to join the rest of us over here on the east coast, sold a bunch of his stuff to a homeless guy he was friends with. For the next year after he left the state his homeless friend sent him payments faithfully every month until the debt was paid, and then sent him a couple of extra payments! Of course his friend lived in a tent in the hills of Marin and had no rent or bills to pay so every month when his disability check came he didn't have much use for it except to send it to my brother. Most people aren't in a situation where they can afford to pay money out so easily. I have found that in my life every thing ALWAYS works out for the best, even if I can't see how it's possible at the time.

Unfortunately loaning money to friends is a big risk. I learned that as well. I have come to this realization. I wouldn't consider it a loan anymore. Just leave it as a gift. If she pays you back she pays you back. If not, then you have received something from her. It isn't your money but it is a lesson. Going to court will cost you much more aggravation, money and time. There is no reason for that. Lesson learned, just be a little more cautious in the future regarding this type of situation. I have loaned money to people before and never received it back. Yes, it irritates me and makes me mad, but really...what can I do? I can't force them to pay it. If you feel this person used you, just let the friendship go. No sense in having such negativity in your life. Your loan is a small price to pay for your peace of mind. At least you know where this person stands and you can move forward now. I hope this helps!

I have done the same only it wasnt a huge amount ($600) and it was to my then boyfriend (now happy to say ex boyfriend) I never saw a single $ but I let it go as I didnt want to deal with him. Mixing money and friendship is never a good idea. Money will come between the friends and many times money will win. You dont want to loose both of them your money and your friend but you also cant choose one over the other. Tell this person that you desperatly need some money and if they can pay you back so you dont have to borow from someone else. Insist that they do. Its better you lie than never see any money at all or your friend.

Hi, I see commercials for The 700 Club on TV, and the pastor, Roberts I think is his name says, "If you see someone in need, don't loan them the money, give them the money". This sticks with me, especially with friends or family. I know you "loaned" this money to your friend, and obviously she/he is not able to pay you back, making bad choices in life, and I'm sure feels somewhat embarassed at the fact that they can't pay you back. If the money means that much to you, which I can understand you may not be in the position to just give it away, then keep on them. All you can really do there is have some patience, some hope, some faith that it will come back to you. Otherwise, accept that they wont or aren't going to pay you back and live and learn so to speak. If they don't realize that not paying you back is going to possibly sever the relationship, then you really don't mean that much to them. You now know that its a pretty good idea to keep friendship and money seperate. I truly hope that they will be able to pay you, and soon. Money and friendship don't mix too well. Best of luck! Bay Lay Gray xx

Lending money to a friend or a relative sometimes become a 'Goodbye' if it is not dealt with appropriately. By this, I mean, it would have been better if you were able to have your friend sign a contract stating the amount that is borrowed, the duration, and the expected date of return. Your friend should have been grateful that you didn't put an interest to the original amount. The fact that the money you lent is something that you have worked hard for is what should be stressed. I don't like it when friends take advantage of you that way, after reading your discussion, I sent a reminder to one of my friends who owed me, they just don't know that we would also be needing the money! God bless and good luck!

HELLO ! I hope god nobody should get this kind of situation. My suggestion if u think friendship is important then just leave that money as a gift and just want when she gives 2)if u think u have no money verry urgent.then ask her politely and say to her ur problems.if she answers in u polite way just give her little more time.but if she acts rude .just go to court REMEMBER A DEAL IS A DEAL A BUSINESS A BUSMESS MONEY IS A MONEY MONEY AND FRIENDSHIP ARE DIFFERENT. I THINK U GIVE HER TIME AND TELL UR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND DECIDE WHEATHER TO TAKE ACTIONS goodluck !

Well, it just shows you the best way to loose a friendship is to lend money to a friend. If taking the person to court is not an option and if you don't want to sever the friendship you need to write the debt off and chalk it up to experience. You have tried reminders and it did not help.

Well, I wonder how much that he owe you. Its because filing a case is expensive too. I believe that you should first send him demand letter. After that, and still nothing happens... then if you think that the amount is big, then that would be the time that you could file a case.

I think maybe there is really difuculty for your old friend. At fist, don't think about everyting in bad opinion, because the things will not be changed when you was angry and censured your friend for his selfishners. so be happy and wait, I think the things will be better.

again ask him and then do as gandhi has taught

If this is the first time he dont pay money back, I think i will forgive him, but if he want to borrow somemore i will refuse that and warning the fact what he is not reliable. If he cannt accept this result, i will kick him away out of my life, because real friend should know how important trustment mean to each other.

ya i understand...but have u ever tried to ask your friend what is the reason behind he is not paying you the rest of the money that is yours...may be he/she is in trouble, if that person doesn't want to pay you ,he/she will defenitely noe pay you that three small amounts too..so my advice is to save your 20plus friendship please contact and try to know the reason behind..gud luck