An Injustice was done to a My Lotter ! Do Western Values Predominate here?
By jennybianca
@jennybianca (12912)
Australia
March 10, 2008 9:38pm CST
I can't work out whether I am easily fooled by people on My Lot, or if there really are some weirdoes & nasty people here?
Nothing bad has happened to me, however, some really bad events ocurred to a friend of mine on My Lot. As we had exchanged email addresses, he/she told me what was going on. Over a few days I was just astonished at what I was reading.
Another My Lotter had started a discussion about what a wonderful person "X" was (my friend). The My Lotter starting this discussion does not have english as her first language,(neither does "X") so naturally there were cultural & language differences. Of the people who responded, one was very nasty calling "X" names & making innuendoes about him/her.
"X" tried to defend himself/herself. The respondant reported "X", and he/she had his account limited.
All of a sudden "X' started receiving PM's from various My Lotters wanting a relationship.
Although I never saw the actual discussion, "X" sent me copies of some of the responses & the PM's. I was amazed that there were people like this on My Lot.
"X" was so distressed at being misrepresented, that he/she ended up in hospital for a few days.
I ended up writing to My Lot admin supporting "X", although "X" still can't log in & has since left My Lot.
Even though My Lot is an English speaking site, with English values predominating, I think we need to take great care that non-western people may have very different cultural ideas & ways of expressing themselves. Our culture is not the best, it is just the dominant one on this site.
I think an injustice was done here!
9 people like this
27 responses
@TheProphet (46)
• United States
11 Mar 08
I do think what happened to your friend was probably an injustice (uncertainty factor only comes from the anonymity required for you to write about it).
However, I would like to disagree with your thought that Western Culture is not the best. There is a reason we're the dominant culture, but I assure you, people who do things like what happened to your friend are not representative of Western culture.
3 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
Probably what I should have said regarding western culture, is that like all other cultures, it has good aspects & negative aspects. The reason we are the dominant culture is extremely complex.
1 person likes this
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
12 Mar 08
That really is a shame that happened to your friend. Why is it some people have to make some things much bigger then they need be, and to show intolerence in this forum is just mute. There are far to many different cultures here, I just can not imagin why anyone would go there. I am sorry for your friend, hope you can find a way to get that person back. If the person has made the choice not too, I guess I can not blame that person.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
This person has decided to leave My Lot & I think that is probably for the best.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
11 Mar 08
I just don't get it. I don't understand why people cannot be nice. If they don't like something that is said respond back nicely and let it go. I feel sorry for your friend and hope they straighten it out and make it right. If we have a troublemaker they need to get rid of them.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Mar 08
I think the "troublemaker" basicly misunderstood person"X", and also imposed her cultural values on him/her.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
12 Mar 08
I"m afraid that these kind of things happen quite often and there is no reason why they wouldn't happen in my Lot either. It's open to anyone, so the good people, the great people, and the not so great people.. all can register and participate.
THings like this happen because in this day an age many people are still quite ignorant about cultures, both theirs and other.
But we will find this anywhere both in the internet and in real life, unfortunately.
I hope things work out with your friend.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
Yes, ignorance is widespread. Hopefully, places such as My Lot help even just a little, in reducing this ignorance.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
12 Mar 08
I don't understand people sometimes. Where do they get off on being so darned mean to one another? If one doesn't have anything nice to say then they need to learn to keep quiet. I wish you luck in getting your friend back on here and getting mylot associates straightened out.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
13 Mar 08
New information has come to light & I am fairly sure that X will not be back.
@ready1022 (2)
• China
13 Mar 08
Yes, it is indeed gloomy. At least, it does not respect the registered member's basic rights and dignity, just for she or he is a non-english speaking guy. that is really unacceptable. meanwhile, how can the manager do such a stuipd thing just for showing his arrogance?
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
I dont think you read my discussion properly. Though I admit that it is difficult to understand as I am trying to protect people's identities.
@weemam (13372)
•
11 Mar 08
This is such a shame pal , I only encountered the one person who was really rude o here and it really upset me , if it had bot been for the support of many other good friends I would have closed my account and left , Please tell your friend that their are very few nasty people here and reassure her that her good friends will stand buy her xx
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
Well, "X' has left My Lot now & that may be for the best.
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
12 Mar 08
I am sorry a bad thing happened to your friend. It must have been very traumatic to send her to the hospital. I must confess though I am really confused. I don't know what it means to have your account "limited". Does it mean you cannot post but you can still get PM's? Also if X got nasty PM's that propositioned her those people would have been people from her friends list. She should have forwarded those to Mylot Admin and complained about them and deleted them from her friends list so they could not send her a PM. Did Mylot actually tell her who reported her, because you say a respondent reported her. How did she know who reported her? Did Mylot give X a reason why they banned X and not the other person? Sorry if I am so slow on the uptake.
In any case I wish your friend well and hope she does not take this to heart. The internet can be a wicked place.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
A limited account apparently means that you will receive notifications of discussions, but not be able to log in. Which means that one can't respond.
The PM's were sent before the person had his/her account limited.
I do agree that if people are soliticing for relationships on My Lot, they shoulk be banned.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
11 Mar 08
I wrote too but did not get any answer from mylot did you?
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
I have not received a reply yet. I guess we are referring to the same person?
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
11 Mar 08
I hate injustice in any form so I admire your intentions to get it straightened out. Athough I am a little bit confused between the "X"s was it your friend X(1) or the myLotter who started the discussion X(2) who was called nasty names? Which X, 1 or 2, was it that got the PM and had their account limited?
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
11 Mar 08
LOL yea I'm a little confused myself about what happened exactly....Hopefully though it'll be or has already been straightened out....
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
I'm sorry my account of this was confusing. I was trying to protect people's identities.
There is only one "X", my friend! The other person I was referring to as him/her, the one who made ineundoes & reported X to My Lot.
There was a third party involved who started the initial discussion, in all innocence.
It is possible, well, more than possible, that there is a lot more to this event. I have come into possession of more information, which I seriously doubt that I can report publicly.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Mar 08
On of them was fairly well known I think."X" started lots of good discussions. I dont know the other one.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
12 Mar 08
I don't think there is such a thing as best culture, best nation or best religion in the world. If it happened the way you described above then yes I agree an injustice has been done here. I don't know who these people are and what discussions they have started but when it comes to unwelcome PMs she can just delete them or delete the friends that sent them PMs. If they are not her friends then they can't send her PMs on mylot. If she receives them on her mailbox, reporting them as spam is a great way to do it. About mylot I think there is nothing we can do, at least you have written to mylot.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
I dont know if the PM's were reported. They should have been as people who are soliticing for relationships on My Lot are not allowed.
I dont know if it all happened the way I described it, as I only know one side of the story.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
12 Mar 08
Hi Jenny,
It is quite disheartening to see this kind of nastiness on-going at mylot. We may have polarized thinking in many subjects but we can cultivate a respectful and peaceful community.
I'm sorry about the state your friends are in now. Sometimes, I just don't understand why some of our friend's account will get deleted within minutes when they are not doing anything wrong, while leaving the weirdos to keep hitting the others.
I hope mylot admin will take the time to investigate this matter further and reinstate your friend's account.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
13 Mar 08
It must be confusing for the admin to sort out the genuine from the mischief makers when there is a complaint.
In this case, I believe X will stay out of my Lot & that maybe for the best.
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
11 Mar 08
That really surprises me. But that's also precisely why I dare not to start a discussion so soon unless I can't help doing so. I am quite aware of the culture and language differences. So far, people on mylot are friendly to me. They give me encouragements. But the injustice will just also happen. Even though people are in the same country but different provinces, it's also inevitable. I've been through this before. It really sucks. The more you said, the more they had to talk about. That experience even made me to question my value and principle of life. I took a really long time to recover.
Maybe we are just too devoted to our friends. Whatever. I do cherish my friends and am gratitude to them. But I also believe in one thing. That's the "take it or leave it" attitude. If people like me, just take who I am. If they do not, just leave it.
Best wishes to your friends. May all become better soon.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
Please be confident in starting a discussion here. Most people on My Lot are friendly, & some are wonderful. I dont want my discussion to put your off starting a discussion yourself.
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
24 Mar 08
Thank you for being so kind to me. And thank you for your encouragement. Maybe I'll hesitate but I can feel the friendliness of myloters. Thank you again:)
@itsmepinky (1300)
• India
11 Mar 08
i completely agree with the first comment here. there r perv's & weirdo's everywhere in this world. bloofy losers have no other better things to do , other then harass d girls. they shud b banned from mylot
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
But who is the perv & weirdo here? Is it "X"? Or is it the person who started the intitial discussion that caused a;ll the trouble? Or is it the person who made ineuendoes & reported "X" to My Lot?
@subha12 (18441)
• India
11 Mar 08
Look there are people like this all over. i just can't say its fault of mylot. as it is reported by you to Mylot admin, i guess some action would be taken. but i really think these people who have done so, should not have done so . its a nice place.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
I guess people should be very careful of their facts before they report something to My Lot admin.
@simplyman2006 (1706)
• India
11 Mar 08
hey its really sad.well i am non western. but i never hurt anyone on mylot. well i donot who why some people do this type of thing i think they wanna earn money in negative ways. well i too hate people like this.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
Yes, there are people on My Lot who are only here to earn money.
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
11 Mar 08
I feel so bad for your friend. It's scary to think that something like that could happen here at mylot, where it usually feels so friendly and safe. If that happened to me, I would probably quit here, or try to change my name on here and only let my trusted friends know.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
It would be very awkward here on My Lot if something bad got out of hand.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Mar 08
Jenny that is terrible we should be grateful that so many from othercountries are sharing their view points and posting and we should welcome them not call them names or make fun of them for having different cultures from ours. I did not know that there were people like that on MyLot. those whom I have met all seemed so great. Its sad that your friend ended up in the hospital over this. I thought racism and discrimination would not appear here on MyLot but evidently I was wrong. You are so right a great injustice was done. I only hope MyLot will straighten it out and allow your friend in again.we need to learn from other cultures.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
The part I enjoy most on My Lot is learning from other cultures.
I think it would be best of my friend stayed out of My Lot for now.
