How could he??

I understand my point, but why would he need to be sneaky about getting my passwords. If he wanted to go over my stuff I would have been glad to sit there with him and let him look at what ever he wanted to look at. It's the way he went about it that upsets me. And he always compares me to his ex wife. Since his ex wife had cheated on him he has it in his head that I am gone to do the same thing. He gets upset when ever I talk to any of my guy friends. And these are people that I have known for 10 and more years. I have nothing to hide. There was no reason for him to go home and log on to my accounts. We usually spend all out free time together, if he wanted to see what I had all he had to do was ask. He went over my head with it.

Good point!

I am feeling very hurt and angry at the same time. I have never went through anything of his. I have also never gave him a reason to not trust me. THe worse part is he sees it as no big deal because its only email. He's isn't seeing my side, I have told him time and time again that I am not doing anything wrong, and he just couldn't take my word on it. He had to go behind my back and look at my stuff anyway.

I am really sorry, that is a true invasion of privacy. He owes you big time!! I am sorry he doesn't see that he did anything wrong, ugh. My husband knew it was wrong so hopefully he'll realize that he basically hurt you.

It seems that there's a tad of jelousy in him, which really needs nipping in the bud. I think I would have a word, and tell him that you don't mind showing him your e-mail, if he asks, even allowing him to check it for you at times, but you're a bit put out at him sneaking behind your back, because it's trust broken on both sides. Without trust, a relationship is always without depth. You can't be happy when you're having to watch each other's every move, and it needs to be worked out before it goes too far, I feel, my friend.

I haven signed on a few times around him. I guess he watched my hands. He read every piece of email I had that he thought would have been from a guy. And the worse part about it is I have never done anything for him to not trust me.

he knows i trust him. I have had his passwords for awhile now. But I have never even dreamed of going on to his accounts. I had all the trust for him. And I would never invade anyones privacy like that. I just got done changing all my passwords.

see I am paying for the things his ex wife did to him. This has been constant since almost the beginning of our relationship. I feel as though he has not trust for me what so ever.

Wow that is almost the exact way they I put it too him. I just get mad because she what happened was his ex wife cheated on him. And I feel as though I am the one who is paying for his wife cheating on him. He doesn't trust me because of the things that she did.

that IS sneaky and thats what would ahve me over the edge...I have my husbands account info and for the things I DONT' already know I knwo where he keeps all that info should he suddenly pass away because I'd need it but i have no desire to snoop..if he wants me to knwo something he'll tell me.....He has SOME of my access stuff but not all of it BECAUSE he's snooped before (twice) and created a MAJOR issue when all he had to do was ask me anything he wanted to know..Thats why I get so bent out of shape, if you want to knwo something, ASK ME...I've nothing to hide and thats well known by anyone who knows me..BUT to sneak around and trying to be a weasel...forget it..I refuse to be treated that way. Not only is it shady but its also disrespectful as far as i'm concerned

I actually said something similar to that when we were talking last night. This was after I calmed down some and stopped yelling. He accidently slipped and had told me. I don;t think he had any intentions on telling me at all of what he did, which in my eyes says that hes sneaky, I think what makes me madder is that I know his passwords but never went on any of his accounts because I feel it's an invasion of privacy. So I trusted him but yet he could not trust me.

Yep, I think if he's not trusting you then he is not trustworthy himself. I knew a guy like that. I didn't like him at all. You have to trust one another.

Well said! I think too many people put up with a bad relationship to feel good about themselves. Nobody cares about you as well as yourself. It's only when you find a person that treats you like you treat yourself that you should be in a relationship.

I have told him that before that if he doesn't trust me than he needs to just walk away. He says he really cares about me. But the insecurities are really getting to me. I really do not know if I can take anymore.

It's not really what he did thats making me mad now. It's why he did it. I feel that he doesn't trust me at all and that he has never really trusted me. Since the beginning of our relationship I have had to reassure him over and over that I am not doing anything wrong. That I am not like his ex wife. That I am not gone to cheat on him. And yes I can say that and actually mean it. I have been cheated on and I know how it feels. I have never cheated on any of my past boyfriends and have no intentions on starting now, but for some reason he just cannot get it through his head. He hates that I have so many guy friends. But these friends have been around for 10 years and longer. It's not like I am going out and meeting new friends. These are the people that have always been there.

I can understand that, when trust has been broken, it is very hard to get it back, to believe that someone is not going to do it too you again, and sometimes even though you are told, it just does not sink in, and it takes a long time to believe that it is not going to happen again, I too have been cheated on and know what it is like. But you cannot give up your friends, it would be the worst thing you ever did, I gave up so many of my friends when I first met my hubby and I wish that I had not. All I know is that if he does not learn to trust you, eventually the relationship will be doomed because it just does not work without trust, and it makes everything so hard, and eventually it makes everything miserable too.

After 8 months of us being together and me never doing anything wrong I do not feel that I should have to prove to him that I am trust worthy. I am never gave him any reason not to trust me so for him to be acting this way is go way out of line. Just because his ex-wife lied and cheated doesn't mean that he should be relating that all to me. I did not do any of these things but yet I am the one he's taking it out on.

We talked things over today. Everything seems to be ok now. We're staying together, there is not reason why we need to break up because of this. I did tell him today though that if he doesn't trust me than he shouldn't be with me.

Oh, probably he had trauma in his previous relationship. He might be afraid that what happend to his marriage before will happen again. Try to talk to him and assure him that you won't do it to him. Also try to understand him more. Hope you'll be able to fix everything. Goodluck!

nah he's not guilty of anything like that. he has insecurities with me because of the things that his ex wife did. And it's seems that I'm the one paying for his ex wife's actions against him.

we talked about it all the time. But how many times do i need to reassure him. It is getting to the point to where I just do not know if it is all worth it anymore.

I have always signed into my accounts with him around. I have never been secretive about my stuff. All he had to do was come to me and voice his concerns, I would have been more than happy to sit with him and let him go over my stuff. well not more than happy, but I would have let him. He was sneaky about it and because of the way he went about it I now feel betrayed.

Oh no he wasn't gone to tell me. He accidently slipped and started to tell me. And after he knew he was caught than he knew he had to tell me the whole story. It's constant, and sometimes there is just no ignoring it.

As I been thinking about what happened its not really what he did that makes me upset, it's how he went about doing it. If he was so concerned about it he should have just came and said so, right than and there I would have been more than happy to let him look at what ever he wanted. But to leave my house, go home and that be the first thing he done, it all just seems so wrong to me. I wasn't mad that he read my stuff, because I do not have nothing to hide, it's just how he went about it. it's been like this since we started dating and I guess this was just the thing that pushed me over the edge. I am tired of having to reassure him that I am not his ex wife and that I am not gone to do what she did. And after months of telling him this we are still are square one. I am wondering if he is ever gone to stop comparing me to what she did and ever fully trust me. I have all his passwords but would never even dream of going on his accounts. So just that right there I think says that I do trust him.

I can definitely see why you're upset. They key to any relationship is communication. I think perhaps you should sit down with him and let him know that you're not his ex wife and that unless he starts trusting you more, you are going to walk because a relationship can't work out if one doesn'r trust the other. I wish you guys the best!

Thats the thing. This has got me thinking. I do not think that he has ever trusted me. He's always questioning me. And to do something as sneaky as he did. I have never given him any reason to be like this.