Smooth or Creepy?

By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4696)
United States
July 3, 2008 9:59am CST
A guy walks up to an attractive girl at a bar. They don't know each other, but he asks to borrow her cell phone to make a quick call. She's fine with that, so she gives him her phone. He dials, waits, hangs up, and then he hands the phone back thanking her for letting him borrow it. She goes on her way assuming whoever he tried to call didn't pick up. He actually called his own cell phone to get her number! The next morning, he calls her back and starts a conversation based on meeting her the night before because he's interested in getting to know her. What do you think, smooth move or extremely creepy?
10 people like this
34 responses
3 Jul 08
This bloke that I worked with did this so that he would have my number though I didnt realise at first. I asked some else who worked there also and he told me it was Charlies. Turned out he had a crush on me and my manager tried to get us together but he was a dweeb and I had just started working there!! After a few months we did get it together but I found it creepy about the way he did got my number. Why not ask for my number or tell me he had saved his number in my phone!! We only lasted a couple of weeks, due to lack of interests. the only thing we had in common wass the workplace. If it was a stranger I would be freeked out and would immediately change my number or say that im her friend as she borrowed my phone last night.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (49877)
• United States
3 Jul 08
It takes the choice away from the woman on whether or not she wants her private info given or not. I'd be pretty upset and freaked out too.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Hi, Cinderella. That's really interesting that this same situation happened to you! I don't understand it either why he couldn't have just asked you for your number, but at least you knew him from work. They say it's really hard for work relationships to last because of that common interest, which is work...in your case, there weren't any other interests or likenesses to keep you together, so it sounds like it was for the best that you split up. I really like your response because what better opinion to receive than from someone this actually happened to! I agree with Pam also because women really should have privacy. I'd be one to change my phone number too. Thanks for sharing!
@tessah (6621)
• United States
4 Jul 08
i dont understand why youd wind up dating someone for a few weeks that you so affectionately refer to as being a dweeb when you first met him.. o.O
1 person likes this
@commanderxo (1496)
• Canada
3 Jul 08
Stalking. No matter "how" it's done...it's illegal...an dangerous! Be careful out there. commanderxo
@GardenGerty (101636)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I guess that is another form of stalking. If there had been cell phones available when I was in high school, I can think of some people who would have tried this. They stalked me anyway, but back then it was not considered so bad.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Not only is it a bad idea in the first place, but stalking really is dangerous! I'd hate to be the victim. I had a coworker several years ago that kind of stalked me because I was young and what he considered "available" for a dating relationship, marriage, etc., but I'd have none of it. He'd keep hinting at things, hitting on me, and things like that for the year that I worked there. It was so long ago, though, that it wasn't considered harrassment like it is now. Had it happened nowadays, he wouldn't work there anymore. By today's standards, I completely agree with your response. You can never be too careful. Thanks for the additional comment, Gerty. It's a scary thought that people can get away with something like this so easily.
• United States
3 Jul 08
Sleezy would be the word. This is the kind of guy that women have to be careful around. They'd sell their own Mother for a price.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Wow, very well put. (LOL) I agree with that. They're really sneaky, but geez, if the guy is going to go that far over the edge to get a date with some random girl, he might as well just put himself on the line to either ask her for her number in person or ask for a date. If he's too scared to ask her in person, I think he's a bit of a coward. So what if he's rejected for any of that? That just means he should either try harder or move on. It sounds like he's too scared to be rejected in person, so in case she rejects him at least it'll be over the phone. That's what it sounds like to me.
• United States
3 Jul 08
He may be worried about being rejected in person, but I call it very sneaky.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Sneaky is a very good word for this situation too. Sure, he might see his act as clever, but to a girl it'll probably be completely the opposite!
@Darkwing (21588)
4 Jul 08
I'm afraid I would have sussed this, as many people have asked me to call their number and hang up, so that they can store mine. As for this guy... if I ever did make the mistake of letting it happen... he would be blocked, without further ado, from calling my cell phone. He's not to be trusted if he has to be that devious! Brightest Blessings.
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I do the same thing...it's so much easier for one person to give another their number and the other person call them so they'll have the other number. It's much easier than both exchanging 10-digit-long numbers and wasting time. (LOL) The guy in this scenario, however, wouldn't be an exception for me either. Blocking him from the phone or changing phone numbers is a great alternative from being stalking. Great answer. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
22 Jul 08
Yes, it almost certainly is.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jul 08
EXTREMELY CREEPY!!! That's a kind of stalker behavior, don't you think? If they'd been talking for a bit, maybe into each other, he asks for her number, she just hands him her phone and says "call your cell from mine and you'll have it", fine. But to give no notice, just walk up to her, "can I borrow your phone?", walk away, call her up the next morning--what the hell?! I'd be creeped out enough to have my number changed, and possibly even report it to the police! If he called his home phone, he could get her number AND HER NAME from his caller ID, look her up based on those, find her address, find out anything about her! I'm definitely going with BEYOND EXTREMELY CREEPY. Seriously...that takes some kind of nerve! I'm never letting anyone use my phone again. Thanks for the heads-up!
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Oh, I agree with you completely. It’s not just kind of stalker behavior, it could also be considered harassment, which if I know my info enough is extremely punishable especially at places such as work. It wasn’t a big thing in the past, but now it’s become a really serious issue. The only difference between this scenario and harassment in the workplace is just that it’s at two different locations. I think it should be punished the same way. Officials have a responsibility to take care of situations like this to make sure they don’t happen again, especially if the woman feels threatened. Whether she did or not, it’s still not right. It’s also stealing because he didn’t give her the right to choose whether or not he had her number, which is her possession and private property. Wow, the list could go on and on. I couldn’t agree with you more, though. I like how you put another twist on the scenario with him starting a conversation with her while he asks for her number while she agrees and invites him to call his own cell. “Invites” is the key word here because it’s her will to choose being exercised. You’re more than welcome for the heads up. Not only did I want to see what myLotters had to say about this subject, I also wanted everyone to be aware that there are still plenty of creeps are out there. I sure hope I didn’t give morons any ideas, though! (LOL) Thanks for your valuable response. It’s great to hear from you. Your response is right on, Faerie! (By the way, with just her number and a little pocket change he could’ve looked up anything about her online. Scary thought!)
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Wow, it's a unique move actually instead of asking directly and start the conversation if ever he is really interested...If I am the girl, I will not trust him...That time in the bar was the perfect time to start talking and knowing each other a litte bit...Anyway, he knows what he wants so, it better for the girl to be cautious but just try also to know him better!
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
You're right. He really did have a great opportunity to start a nice conversation with the girl instead of, "Can I borrow your phone?" C'mon now...I think guys can do much better than that! I'll give 'em a little more credit than that. (LOL) I think he should've sucked it up, swallowed his nerves, and asked her to a table or something like that so he could get to know her or at least give her the chance to say no. Great response - thanks!
@AmbiePam (49877)
• United States
3 Jul 08
No doubt, it is creepy. I'm answering this from my e-mail so I can't see anyone else's responses, but is this a true story? Because I'm thinking I'd get my cell number changed, and the next time some guy asked to use my phone, I'd give them money for the pay phone!
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Yes, this has happened before. I didn't know of a specific incident when I posted this discussion, but if you read the first response to this discussion it actually did happen to someone! It's very scary, and I know I'd get my number changed. Of course, I wouldn't be as nice to him as you were with giving him money for the pay phone. I'd probably tell him to take a hike and never bother talking to me again. Probably sounds rude, but you can never be too careful nowadays! Thanks for your great response.
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I wish I had been smart enough to think of something like that. I suppose it could be perceived as being a little weird though. I guess it is all in how open minded the woman is.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I guess that's what makes it so hard...you've never talked or seen each other before, so judging how each person would react is really difficult to predict ahead of time. If it worked and you got a relationship out of it, then obviously it's a good thing! I'm glad I could give you some good ideas for the future. (LOL) Thanks for your honest response.
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I think that would be extremely weird,and if I was that woman I would have told him to never call me,or I would have changed my number,and if I ever saw him again I would have ignored him,and if he reapproached me I would have called the cops and had him arrested.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
15 Jul 08
I think if he were to approach you again after the fact (and after trying to call you), calling the cops would be ok to do since he already spoke with you on two previous occasions (both of which were forced and obviously against your will). It would be considered harrassment among other things, so the officials would more than likely do something about it. Good for you. Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jul 08
Yeah thats true because it would be considered harrassment among other offenses,so the cops would be duty bound to do something about it,and he could always be considered a stalker,since it would seem like he was stalking her,since he kept approaching her,and he called her,you are more than welcome for the response,and I was more than happy to respond to you,and I hope if I respond to peoples discussions they will respond to mine,have a great day my friend,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
16 Jul 08
It's definitely a good thing that the cops would have an obligation and duty to do something about it. It makes us women feel a little more safe out there. I'm sure the police might get a good laugh out of it, but if it's the law then they have to abide by it. Thanks again. You are too sweet.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jul 08
I think that would be somewhat creepy. The reason I say that is she did not have a choice in the contact. Before when you would ask someone for their phone number they had a choice on whether to give it or not. It sounds to me like this guys is not very sure about himself enough to ask for her number. Perhaps too many rejections in his past. :-) Nothing like I heard someone do. He walk up to a woman at a bar and sits down. Looks at her and then does a double take and says. "Um you seem to have a beep on your nose." She says "What?" He then reaches over and pushes her nose with his finger like a button and says "Beep". lol How cheesy is that? :)
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Wow, that is pretty cheesy! (LOL) Thanks for the good laugh. At least the guy borrowing her cell phone to call his own and get her number takes a little bit of thought and consideration before the plan is carried out. I agree with you, though. Poor girl doesn't have a chance to reject him with this method! What a shame...how silly guys can be and how oblivious we women can be! (LOL) I know one thing that I won't fall for this trick. Of course, I wouldn't be at a bar in the first place, but still. Thanks for your response! I like your answer and your input. It's always great and interesting to read what you have to say!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 08
I had not heard from you all day was wondering if you were too busy at work. :) thanks for the great compliment. I enjoy reading your responses too. have a great day.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
It’s great to know that other myLotters notice when I’m not as active as I should be here. (LOL) It’s good to know when you’re missed! I’m usually not to terribly busy at work, so I usually have the chance to pop in now and then to check up on things, and if not as often as I like, for sure on my lunch break. I guess I’m a nerd as I’m usually on the computer for what I consider a break rather than stepping away from my desk. Why not earn money on my lunch break? (LOL) Anyhow, I appreciate your concern as well as you response and comment on this discussion. It’s kind of an odd one, but I have to say that I was really curious as to how everyone would react to it. I haven’t been disappointed! Thanks again and take care! I’ll be around as I just got hooked up for high-speed Internet at home. We’re so spoiled nowadays, aren’t we? (LOL)
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
6 Jul 08
creepy
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Thanks for you short but sweet answer. (LOL) No explanation needed, I suppose, because I think everyone else did a pretty good discussion of why this is so creepy! Ugh. Sometimes I wish guys were even more insane for their own good. (LOL) Thanks for participating.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
21 Jul 08
well, ya gotta understand, I had 2 guys try and pick me up and carry me to their car once, I did my best to beat the s... stuffing out of them - considering I am only 5' tall and at that time weighed about 115. I did make them drop me and leave me alone. Guys and trust don't set easily for me.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
29 Jul 08
Wow, I can most definitely understand why! He'd have to be some special guy to sweep you off your feet. That's so not cool, but appreciate you sharing your experiences. Take care!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jul 08
Well, im ganna feel like an old ball here LMAO. I mean i agree it could be kinda creepy. but i think its kinda smooth to:P. veary smart, if he is anything like me. he would feel much comfterble tlaking on the phone rather then face to face its easier to do. and your not so nervous. its not like he could like look through the phone book and find her address using a cell phone number so.
• United States
7 Jul 08
Yes he could. Most home telephones have caller ID, and most cell phones show a name with the number. Mine does, for instance. "Doe, Jane 555-555-5555" All he'd have to do is look up her name online, cross-reference her number and city, and he'd have her. Definitely creepy!
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10525)
• United States
16 Jul 08
That is creepy. I would not want him to have access to my phone number, he probably was not dangerous but looks are deceiving.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Yes, you're probably right, but we can never be too careful. What might've seemed like a harmless yet random phone call could've turned into a huge background check on the poor girl that wasn't thinking when she lent him her phone. He probably wasn't up to anything dangerous. He just wanted a dinner date or the possibility of having a serious relationship. In this case, however, I'd say he needs to talk to her in person! Thanks for your valuable response, Deb!
@Marcola (2776)
• United States
16 Jul 08
I think that's pretty smooth, to be honest. He gets an E for effort. If the gal didn't want him calling her afterwards and he did, it'd be different. I don't see the harm in it. Guys do those things.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I don't see harm in it either as long as he's willing to do whatever she asks. If he doesn't, then he could be charged with stalking and harassment. It's a fine line between smooth and just plain scary. It's great to have your input on the matter. Thanks!
@edigital (2710)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Your question is the happening with cell phone of girl is " smooth move" or "creepy" - in my opinion I think it is first step of smooth move otherwise the girls would not borrow him her cell phone !
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Ok, I guess I agree with you to a point. (LOL) If he wasn’t a little smooth, she wouldn’t have given him her cell phone to borrow. Obviously, she wasn’t thinking smart by letting him do that in the first place. That’s a very good response coming from a man’s perspective. Thanks. (LOL)
1 person likes this
4 Jul 08
Hello JJ4Ever, That is so smarmey and creepy, I should change your number if I were you. I never give my phone to any stranger they might run off with it. Be safe Tamarafireheart.
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
i don't like those creepy moves, i am not the type who will lend my phone to other people easily especially to stangers so this move will not work on me, i don't like the mystery man effect. i'm not interested to response to a message from a number that is not familiar with me. besides his way of getting my number is a bit off the hook. if he is really interested to me he can approach me directly and try to win my friendship first.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I love what you said, “If he is really interested in me he can approach me directly and try to win my friendship first.” I feel the exact same way. Why should this guy be a mystery? If he’s really seeking a relationship versus a one-night stand, he’ll get up the guts to ask the girl out in person. I appreciate your insight and really like your response. Thanks!
@allen0187 (33860)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
i won't pull a stunt like that to get a girl's number. straight-forward is the way to go and asking for a girl's number exudes confidence. creepy and really a loser's way in my book. just my thoughts.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
This is a great response from a guy's perspective because a lot of girls would be turned off by what this guy did. I agree with you because I think face-to-face and in person is the most sincere way to win a girl’s affection; not by chance over the phone because he pretty much stole her number since without her knowledge or consent. Thanks for a great response. It’s a relief there are still guys like you out there. (LOL) Good answer.
@metschica25 (5407)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I would have a mix of feelings with this one . I would of just wanted him to chat it up with me a little and then maybe ask for my number . Part of me would think it is cool if I noticed him , you know what I mean , and then I might think it is silly .I may talk to him and on the phone , and give him my email and see how that goes .
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I know exactly what you mean. It makes a girl feel really good when a guy notices her and then kind of goes out of his way to make her feel special, and in this particular scenario, by trying to get in touch with her. However, with all the freaks out there it’d be a little on the strange side almost like a stalker. It really could go either way, but I caught your drift and really like your response. I’d want him to at least try to talk to me in person instead too. I don’t think I’d turn him away or be rude to him as long as he tried rather than going about it all secretive. Thanks!
@rrdj71 (696)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I think it's a GREAT plot for a movie but VERY CREEPY in real life!!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Oh yeah! I never thought of it for a movie, but you're right...that'd be pretty nifty. (LOL) They've probably done something like that before. The only thing is, you never know how a person in real life would act picking up a phone call like that the day after. If you had something like this in a movie, hopefully all of the actions and reactions would be accurate and life-like. (LOL) I probably thought a little too deep on that one! Thanks for your awesome response. It's something I obviously never thought about before until now. Take care!