I think my spouse is cheating...

United States
July 8, 2008 4:31pm CST
...on his diet. He has been on a low salt, low fat diet for a couple months and still no weight loss. Then, this morning, I found a mammoth sized Hershey bar wrapper in the back of the freezer. He had eaten the entire thing! That's at least 1000 calories. Could explain why my low fat cooking hasn't been doing the trick. Thinking about it, he has always been opposed to diets and works furiously to keep the weight on by eating loads of sweets. But I guess that I thought things would be different this time, since he has to lose weight for his health sake. But I guess old bad habits die hard. What are the signs that someone is cheating on their diet? Would you know if your spouse/signifigant other were cheating on their diet? What can I do to help him get back on track. I've tried taking my hands off the situation and when I do he goes wild with the chocolate and eats himself into a hole. He is constantly griping about the money I want to spend on kids books online, but he doesn't mind spending ten dollars or more weekly on cookies, chocolate etc. So, what now?
7 people like this
22 responses
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I think that going cold turkey on the sweets may just be a little to hard for him. Maybe try to make some sweets for him that are not too bad for the waistline to help with the sugar cravings?
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jul 08
Maybe like a full meal followed up by a mini-snickers bar or something similar? I had not thought of that before. I guess it's unreasonable for me to ask him to do without all sweets to begin with. Some eating habits do take a while to unlearn. Thanks for your comments. Will definitely put this to good use. Beauty Queen
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 08
Diet alone won't cut it. He should also walk on a treadmill for at least 30 minutes. If you have him walk 20 minutes if he lost 1 pound that week and 40 minutes if he failed to loose weight or gained weight, he should clue in eventually. Laziness overcoming a sweet tooth, you know. :)
2 people like this
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
good day... cheating the wife with the diet is easier than cheating the wife with another woman
1 person likes this
@liulin (68)
• China
9 Jul 08
you are very carefully and sweet.your spouse cheating on his diet?It is too hard to believe it.
1 person likes this
9 Jul 08
Yes your line got my attention too. I would put locks on all your cupboards, fridge, freezer, you name it. Carry around the key then there is no way he can eat a thing without your permission. This would stop him eating bad snacks such as chocolate,crisps and all that bad stuff. Also he will become very very hungary, then you can then make something that is healthy and not as fattening as other stuff and feed it him. I think this is an excellent idea and it will teach him a lesson, he must never give up.
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
9 Jul 08
Hahahahaaha - I had to laugh at your husband hiding the chocky (even though I know it's not funny) - because I'd do that, too! It's horrible having to go without treats, so maybe he should be allowed to have a TEENSY bit of choc each week for being good the rest of the time. (If he IS being good the rest of the time ...) I suppose the only thing you can do is really stuff him full of the good food so he's not hungry enough to want to cheat later on. Check the glovebox of his car, too - hahaha!
1 person likes this
@sherazat (16)
• Romania
9 Jul 08
that sucks . must admit your husband is a very difficult person if he doesn't understand that cookies and sweets are not good for him . My husband likes sweets too but after he saw he's not feeling very good he started eating less sweets .I think that you must somehow step by step make him to do some exercises .
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 08
Motivate that man! If he has to lose some weight, then get him on the right track. Tell him that you want him to be healthy, and the only way that that will happen is if he sticks to his diet.
1 person likes this
@karelk (14)
• United States
9 Jul 08
As much as I hate to say it, he's a big boy. I'm sure he's well aware of what could happen to him by not staying on his diet. I don't think there is anything you can do to change his mind until he's ready to change for himself.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99221)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Diets are about deprivation, and no one wants to be deprived. Find some healthy snacks that he can have. Make it a point that you will have chocolate, daily, just in small portions. Right now it is more of a competition between the two of you. Make the healthiest oatmeal or peanut butter cookies you can find, and put them out for him to eat. Make them with real ingredients, not fake sugar, fake fat, etc. I know you want him to be healthy, but I knew at least one man who always said that if he had to be that restrictive of his diet, he had rather die. We eat one piece of good dark chocolate at night before bed. I do not crave chocolate anymore. I like Dove brand. Duke University has done studies on it.
@mummymo (23707)
10 Jul 08
Oh Sweetie that was so cheeky - you know what that title would make us think! As for him cheating on his diet I guess it is like any other addiction - you have to want to stop! I can understand that you must feel quite upset as you have been going to so much trouble to try and keep him on that healthy diet and meanwhile he is eating sweets and chocolate! I don't know what to suggest sweetheart but there is nothing you can really do until he decides he wants to stop eating those things. Good Luck xxx
• United States
13 Jul 08
Yes, I was very naughty! But just the one time. I am done with it now. As for his diet, you are right. I have slacked up about the rigid diet and asked him to use more caution. He agrees! It's for his own good. And for his family's good too. He agrees with that. Thanks for your lovely post.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
13 Jul 08
We are all allowed to be naughty sometimes beauty - and besides it is fun and makes me laugh! I hope that he will be more careful from now on - for you as much as for himself! xxx
@Elixiress (3893)
9 Jul 08
He is definitely cheating if he has not lost any weight on that diet. Even if he is on a diet for his health, he must want to do it himself, you cannot force someone to diet, so if he does not want to do it then there is no point making him. If my partner was cheating on his diet and telling me that he was not then I would tell him that I knew. Is there anything he is passionate about or would really like to do, maybe you could say "Every time you feel like eating a chocolate bar, but the money for that chocolate bar in a jar" then if he gets cravings often then the money will save up and he could buy something better for him.
• United States
13 Jul 08
He will respond to the money idea. He does like magazines, so maybe he could spend the money on that instead. As is he won't let himself buy magazines. Maybe that could be his indulgence! Thanks for the suggestion.
@Elixiress (3893)
13 Jul 08
Yeah hopefully that will persuade him as junk food is rather expensive.
@irishidid (8563)
• United States
9 Jul 08
He's like a kid sneaking the sweets. You need to feed his sweet tooth. I'd look for low fat recipes for him so he won't be sneaking around behind your back.
• United States
13 Jul 08
Yes he is! I will try your suggestion. Maybe if I let him have some home baked treats that are low fat he will not find pleasure in sneaking treats.
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Lack of weight loss is a clue. That huge candy wrapper is a biggie too. I don't think there is alot you can do. Controlling someone elses behavior is almost impossible. Until he is truly ready it won't work. I know it is stressful. Just try and hang in there. Arguing about it may make him eat more.
• Canada
8 Jul 08
I will definitely admit that your headline got my attention, and then I kew where you were going the moment I read the first word. haha Good opening hook!! My husband on a diet? No way! LOL If anything he needs to GAIN weight. LOL I have always been opposed to diets myself, but then again I don't hae any immediate health concerns that make me need to go on a diet.
• United States
8 Jul 08
Oh! You're so sweet. As for my hubby's diet, he really needs to be on one. His blood pressure spikes dangerously if he eats high fat, high salt meals. He almost had a stroke two years ago after he ate bad beef burgers from the Hardy's. I think it was some kind of salmonella or botulism poisoning. It's a real miracle he survived. Ever since then, he can't eat hardly anything but the leanest meats and lowest fat meals. He was a snacker for years, but now really needs to change his ways. Thanks for being first to post!
@hanirose (307)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
Oh my God.. i understand how you are feeling i know it's really hard. Im in the same situation with my brother. Both our parents work abroad so it's just him and me and our helper in the house. Im the one who cooks our meals and im trying to make it fair to him by being in the same diet he's in so he'd be encouraged to stick on the same habits but he's got a huge allowance so whenever he feels like food at home is not enough or my cooking not delightful to his tastes he eats out! LOL.. and yeah since he's just kid so he talks back whenever i say a word. I try to make him understand that i wouldnt waste my time doing the things i do if i didnt care. It's the only reason why i do these things for him anyway. It would be very relaxing to sit back let him do what he wants to do and worry about nothing but i just can't seem to NOT CARE cause thing is, he's my brother. I don't know what else to do cause i feel like ive done my part and you can't really push somebody to do things cause sometimes it's not your call. Like you can't help somebody who doesnt want to be helped. For now im just trying to do my part even though i get hurt most of the time whenever he talks back or does otherwise or doesnt listen to what i say. I just hope that he doesnt end up one day regreting the things he's done and all he can say is "you were right". If he should decide to change his ways, i hope he's not too late.
• United States
9 Jul 08
OMG!! I thought you meant a different kind of cheating!! LOL Men need more calories than us, but he still needs to eat healthy. Make a deal with him. He is not on a diet. He is now on a healthy eating plan with an allowance for sweets or goodies. He could either have one small treat each day, or be super good all week and go to town on some sugary treat once a week. Health food tastes wonderful too, Just make it and let him think its normal food.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Boy does that sound familiar. My hubby was put on a strict 1500 calorie a day diet about 3 years ago, after he was diagnosed with diabetes II. He lost about 40 pounds right away, then completely stopped losing weight, even though supposedly he was still following the diet. He surely was at home, because I made sure. But one day, I had to use his car and when I put the groceries in the trunk, I discovered lots of snacks - peanuts, pretzels, chips, candy. He's not supposed to eat any of those, and especially not the chocolate candy. He can have a piece of sugar free once in a while, but I guess that wasn't enough for him. I learned that I cannot force him to want to be healthy.
@naseeha (1385)
• India
9 Jul 08
You had me hooked from the first line and when i read the actual discussion i thought oh!!! Well it is bad that some people cannot overcome their craving for certain foods. Its bad to hear that your hubby has to be on a strict diet. The only way is to talk it over with him very seriously.. All the best.. Keep smiling...
@subha12 (18453)
• India
9 Jul 08
it may be. as you have caught him already. may be he can't get away with those foods. so however hard you try, he will do this.keep a track still.