Why are you crying??

@34momma (13918)
United States
July 9, 2008 9:21am CST
My daughters teacher informed me that my little baby girl has been crying all day in school for the past two weeks. She is just so unhappy there now. She will not play with any of the other children, she will not eat, and doesn't want to nap. I have asked her what is the matter, but being that she is only three she just says nothing. I am getting concerned because my sister went to drop her off today and she freaked out!! I don't know what to do. Friday I have the day off so I am going to go to the school and watch her in class without her knowing i am there and see if i can find out what is going on. Do you have any suggestions?
8 people like this
17 responses
• United States
9 Jul 08
I would sit with her not watch her. She needs to be comfortable and you can help her interact with the others. Going to school is a big adjustment for a 3yr old. As long as she knows your there and will come she will be fine. I would give it a couple of weeks. After she fines one friend to chum around with it will get better. It does make your heart break. us mom's want to just fix it. She will come out of her shell.
@34momma (13918)
• United States
9 Jul 08
she has been in this school for a year now. that is why i am so confussed as to why she is reacting to school this way now
• United States
9 Jul 08
Maybe someone was mean to her and you just need to talk to her. It is so hard at that age. I would watch then and see who she refuses to go by. If someone is bulling her she will stay clear of them
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
9 Jul 08
yeah something is going on. i don't know what but i am going to get to the bottom of it
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
10 Jul 08
Try to talk to her, or play with her and slowly she will tell you. I have this experience, when my son is two and a half I sent him to a child care centre. He was happy at first and started to cry, not eating, refuse to wake up in the morning, refuse to goes in when he reaches the school and refuse to goes to bed at night. I tried talking to him on the bed before he sleep one night and found out that his teacher slap him once when wake up crying from his afternoon's nap and the other time the teacher beat him for climbing onto a table. I confronted the teacher and she admitted so I change a school for him. Sometime is good to talk to them on the bed during bed time on the bed before they sleep. Hope this help.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
10 Jul 08
after i go to the school tomorrow and see what is going on. i will have more info. it just might be a phase she is going through. which my niece went through the same thing.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
11 Jul 08
Hope you can find out what happened and she will be fine.
1 person likes this
@LRB1111 (356)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Hi there, I sympathize with your situation. The only explanations that I could come up with is that either your daughter is afraid or upset with something at school, or because of something she is being prevented from doing at school. Being away from home is unsettling for some children her age, but crying every day means something is happening "around the time" that she is actually crying. Perhaps another child in the classroom upset her. Since she might be unable to express these feelings in words, she may just start crying when this child (or situation) continues upsetting her. Maybe there is something that happens during her school day that she is uncomfortable with. This could be something she is not used to, or something that she dislikes having to do, or not being able to do. So observing her in class is a wonderful idea. I think you will get your answer then. I know you will get to the bottom of this and everything will turn out well.
@34momma (13918)
• United States
10 Jul 08
thank you so much for your for your wonderful post to this very upsetting topic. you are right about everything
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
If it is an adult they arent going to risk getting caught with a parent there.
@dangnabit67 (2021)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Has someone molested her? Perhaps a therapist could help. Something happened at school, I would talk to the teacher and the principle.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
10 Jul 08
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i pray that is not the cause!!!!!!! but don't you worry i am on the case and going to make sure all is with my with my little girl
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
how did the school visit go? Did you find out anything yet?
@Craz3hC (110)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Man. I dunno. That's so sad. I think maybe she saw something that really freaked her out either on television or maybe even in her own classroom! I'm sorry that's happened...
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
10 Jul 08
i know what you mean. something or someone has freaked her out, and now momma is going to go and figure it out so my baby girl is not freaked out any more
@Craz3hC (110)
• United States
11 Jul 08
Go get 'em momma! =]
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
22 Jul 08
You may have already solved this but your idea of attending daycare with her for a few days might help if she can't tell you what is making her very upset. Something or someone is bothering her I'm sure. Were you able to find out what it was? I hope she is ok!
@34momma (13918)
• United States
27 Jul 08
yes things have been much better in the past couple of weeks. she may cry a bit but she is not crying all day thank goodness.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I think that is a very good idea for you to go and watch your daughter and see what is going on there. You never know these days, what is happening. Something must be bothering her to make her cry and not want to nap or eat. I think she has to be afraid of something or the other. Maybe she just misses you. Have you asked her about it again to see if she will say what is going on there? I would definitely seek it out too.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
27 Jul 08
thanks so much. she is doing much better now. i am so happy because i was getting so worried about my sweet girl
@Hatley (164028)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Jul 08
hi 34 momma I bet your littlesweeti p;ie is being picked on by one ofthe other kids, maybe a biggerchild. thats'the way a lot of little kids act and since she has been going there awhile this is probably something that just started, maybe the teacher did not realize this, did not see the bullying as bullies can be very deceptive, and at three she would really not know what to do about it and just be really scared.so go to the school and obseve. she might just shy away from the person doing the picking on. hope thjis help;s
@34momma (13918)
• United States
20 Jul 08
i thought that might be it too, but it turns out she was just not feeling school. she is about to be moved to another class with the older children. so i think that is going to work really well for her
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
17 Jul 08
With the way she is acting, I am sure something is not right. I hope you are able to figure out what it is.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
20 Jul 08
i don't know what it was,but i can be happy to say that it is over now. she is doing great now. no more crying, thank goodness
• Canada
15 Jul 08
My mother ran a nursery school, and had two twin girls, same age, who had the same prolem. Turns out the two had a severe case of separation anxiey, and just couldn't bear to be apart from their mother, even for a couple of hours.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
20 Jul 08
awww poor baby girls. i don't think that's it with my little lady because she has been going to this school for over a year now. but in the last week or so she has been doing much better
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Few questions =). Does she go to school all day every day? When my 'baby' was three, er, three and a half, she was just going to preschool twice a week for about 3 hours a time. Aside from something happening, maybe the time is just overwhelming for her. Some kids do perfectly fine in daycare/school all day, other kids have a limit and once they reach it, they just can't cope, and it isn't a matter of anything being bad or wrong. I definitely think that going there and watching without her knowing may give you some insights. You would be able to see if she is okay and if anything in particular sets her off, or if it's nothing and she just misses you, etc. There was a little boy in my daughter's class whose mom pulled him out because he was crying all the time. Turns out that there were other boys being mean to him behind the teacher's back, yet she never caught the boys who were instigating it, she only caught Jake when he would try to defend himself, and since he's only 3 1/2, he had a hard time trying to explain so he spent so much time in trouble for nothing and the mean boys would tease him.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
27 Jul 08
yes she goes from about 9 to 4:30. i have to work so i really don't have much of a choice. although in the last free weeks she has been doing much better. i was getting worried
• China
10 Jul 08
Oh, ur little girl just be afraid the strange circumstance.Maybe u can talk with her and let her knows she could make new friends in the school. And encourage her more active in school.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
27 Jul 08
they are very active in school. they do so much with the kids there. i love the school her teachers are just great. things are starting to calm down with her and i am so happy about that
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
Maybe she's still adjusting there, I suggest you find her a friend in that school so that she won't feel lonely and scared. I think it's normal for kids to feel that way in school so just tell her that school is a fun place to be.
@34momma (13918)
• United States
27 Jul 08
she has been there for a year and she has two really great friends there. one of the teacher lives next door to me. i am not sure what is going on with her. in the past few weeks things have been getting better
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
10 Jul 08
My youngest child was so attached to me that he would make himself sick when he went to daycare. I eventually stayed home and had a home daycare myself until he was old enough to be all right without me.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
27 Jul 08
i would love to be able to stay home with her. i just can't do that. but good for you. you were very lucky to be able to do that.
• United States
10 Jul 08
I think your idea of watching without her knowing is a good one,however I wouldn't let the school know either if there is a way you can see in the windows,or watch on the playground.Maybe there is a child there that is teasing her,yet I would think the teachers would know that.certainly something is going on and it might be best to find another daycare. I used to sneak up and check on my daughters daycare,I know I over reacted but when I heard one of the teachers yell at my 2 year old to be quiet and stop crying that her mother would be there soon.I went in and took her by the hand and never brought her back.I think the teachers should be more used to consoling children who miss their moms it is only natural that they are going to cry for their mothers.I have been doing in home child care for years now,I am used to a child crying when their mothers leaves,however I have never had one that I couldn't console and get them playing within minutes after saying goodbye.If you know a particular child is going to cry you prepare for it,and have a consistent plan for dealing with it.There are all kinds of things to do to help a child through the separation anxiety. I would certainly be wary of why your daughter is crying now and having such a bad day,if she wasn't in the past.Something has changed to make he change. Good luck to you. Jas
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
10 Jul 08
the teachers there are pretty good. my daughter use to in and hug her teacher every morning. she still has the same ones, that has not changed at all. don't worry i am going to find out what is going on
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
10 Jul 08
Something has happened somewhere that has really affected your daughter. If she is crying, not eating, and not taking naps, something is wrong. This has been going on for two weeks? Is there a counselor at her school? You may have to take her to see an outside counselor to see what has happened. I could see if this happened for a day or two and then she went back to normal, but two weeks is a long time. I remember you saying that your oldest son was going off to college, could this have something to do with it? I remember when me youngest niece was four years old, her five older siblings got a grant to go to a private Christian school. In order for her to go, my sister had to pay out of pocket. She tried to send her back to her old school and Brittany would have a fit. As soon as my sister got to work, she had to leave again to go pick up her child. Finally my sister realized that she would have to pay for her to go with the other children. Nothing else worked. It could be that your daughter does not see school as a good thing, because it is taking her big brother away. This is just a stab in the dark, but I tried.
@34momma (13918)
• United States
10 Jul 08
no i don't think it has anything to do with my son leaving. only because we just found out about that and this is going on before that. she has been there for a year now. and altough her and my son are very close i am not such on has anything to do with the other.
• United States
9 Jul 08
Awww momma,that's a shame about your baby girl. I assume she's been going to the school for a while and this has just started happening? If so, there must be a child who is bothering her. That's all I can think of. Are there any new teachers there? Something must have changed for her to suddenly be unhappy every day. Poor thing! My 3 year old niece hates her poreschool too and she cries a lot, but she's hated it since Day 1.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
9 Jul 08
i know it is braking my heart to know my baby girl is unhappy. i am not sure what it is because she loved school and her best friend. but you bet i am going to get to the bottom of it