What does Family Values mean to you?

@II2aTee (2560)
United States
July 23, 2008 10:07am CST
The deffinition of family has changed very much over the years. Long ago the word "family" meant a mother, a father, and children. But now, in modern times the picture of "family" has morphed into many different pictures. Sometimes Grandparents raise their Grandchildren. Sometimes a child will only have one mother, or one father. Sometimes a family consists of adopted and foster children. To me, the important ingredient in any family relationship, is love. I was raised in a very loving house. I had a mother, a father, a sister and a brother. We were not rich in material things, but we were rich in all other apsects. In fact we were very poor. But my father is the hardest working man I have ever met. We hada large back yard and he was a construction worker by trade. He welded an entire playground for us kids. We had monkey bars, a teeter taughter (spelling) a tetherball court, and even a merry go-round! My mother was an animal lover and at all times in my childhood we had a least 3-4 horses in the barn. I grew up on horseback. It was wonderfull to come home from school and saddle up a horse and just - go. Anywhere. The trails through the woods, through the fields... it was so freeing. I was blessed to have been raised this way. I live in the city now but I still have dreams about riding my horse, Molly, through the overgrown trails as the sunlight trickles through the leaves of the forest. I would not replace my childhood, or my family for ANYTHING. Now I was watching a program on TV last night and someone said that homosexuals do not have family values. I took great offense to this because every member of my family is my best friend. We laugh together, we cry together, we share our innermost thoughts and I have yet to see a barrier that we have not been able to overcome, as a family. What is "Family Values" if not this kind of long standing bond? And why is it that just because I am gay people think I do not have "family values"? I take great offense... I had a better childhood than any one I know... and I dont know anyone who says their mother and father are their best friends. What does Family Values to you?
9 people like this
13 responses
@arkaf61 (10884)
• Canada
23 Jul 08
I value my family too and agree with you that it certainly is that long standing bond that stays with us and bring us together. It is true that nowadays the meaning of family has changed but for the most part that is not a bad thing as long as the bond is still there, there is a family. As for that tv program, I am not gay and I think I would still take offense, being gay does not change anything in this equation and saying this is an offense both for gay and non gay people alike. Family values are those that allow us to think about our family and care about their members deeply, it's spending wonderful time together and keeping those memories with us throughout life, is sharing things that we might not share with other people, is knowing that there is a safe place for us whenever we need it. A place where we are accepted and can be ourselves freely and still be loved. Being gay doesn't either change this or prevents it from happening, and those who think differently are just showing their ignorance. I too had a wonderful childhood and I treasure it. I know that life is not always the way we want it but I also knew that I would be safe with my family, that even if we didn't agree on something we would still feel the same towards each other. Traditional families are fine - if they're functioning - but so are any other new forms as long as the main values are the same.
@click50 (68)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Family values are the morals, attitudes and ideals that you build your family around. Traditionally, this has been a two-parent, married, heterosexual couple who raise their children to value God and country. People who believe that families are built upon heterosexual relationships and only heterosexual relationships because of their own religious, moral or traditional beliefs will not see a gay person as having family values because it doesn't fit their definition of what family values are. I agree that a loving and caring home in which as child is accepted for who they are and are who teach their children acceptance and tolerance of all people is surely a home that exhibits family values.
• Canada
23 Jul 08
Well, whomever said that should have their face mushed in the mud. They are idiots and know nothing at all! Your childhood sounds quite 'normal' to me. People still don't get it yet, eh? Being gay is not a choice or created by an abnormal environment. They still think it is 'abnormal' and something must have happened to you to 'turn you' gay. IDIOTS!!!! It really makes me mad when people just won't see the TRUTH. I swear, people seem to try and make up their own truth. It makes me sick.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
23 Jul 08
Hi Tee, From all you have said here I would certainly agree that you had a better childhood than most. Family values are about love and acceptance. It is about facing good times and bad times together and being there for each other no matter what happens. There is a lot of ignorance out there and we have to realize that, and accept it for what it is. Your definition of family values is among the best I've hear or seen anywhere. The person who said that homosexuals had no family values knew very little about either. Those who agree are the type who would either disown their gay children or send them to be terrorized by some church group. Where are the family values there? Blessings.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
23 Jul 08
That is a very good question to raise. I do believe that times and years pass and change. I don't believe the old and endearing family values should ever change at all. Family is very important. We should always try to teach our children the best values we can and just hope they get something out of what we try to instill in them. Children will remember their childhood well if they remember how we treat them. They need attention and respect and things that money can't buy. They need to play and learn to accept people despite their differences. It all starts in the home.
• United States
25 Jul 08
Why? it is simple. They are dumb enough to assume that if you are gay, you don't want to marry and have kids. That you are Only about have s*x with as many partners you can. And they are so wrong.I feel sorry for them that their definition of family is so narrow.Just because you love someone of the same gender doesn't automatically make you anti family.Family values means the family respects the feelings and goals of each member.I don't believe that family is Only a mom and dad and kids. A family can be made of several different types of relations. ps. It sounds like growing up your family was rich in love. That is all you really need.and best of all you are out to them and you are still just as close. that is great. I wish all gay people could be out And keep their family.
@skinnychick (6907)
• United States
24 Jul 08
If your family isn't the epitomy of family value then I don't know what is. Your very lucky to have grown up in that type of nurturing environment. Those of us who didn't have that dreamed of a family like that. So what does that have to do with homosexuality??? Oh that's right another set of morons making moronic statements. Sighhh... Your very lucky by the way :)
@bonbon664 (3470)
• Canada
24 Jul 08
Family values..hmmm....not sure what that means at all in our current society. I do know that family can take on several connotations to me anyway. To me, a family is a unit of people that come together, and make each other feel safe and loved. So, in my world, this can mean any combination of people. As far as the values part of the equation, I think that's pretty personal as well. To me, it's a family that imparts tolerance and empathy to your fellow man.
@Ravenladyj (22940)
• United States
24 Jul 08
To me, the important ingredient in any family relationship, is love I agree..but not just any kind of love..it must be IMO true, unconditional love...I grew up in a seriously CRAPPY home filled with lies, abuse, hatred and more conditions than I'd care to talk about..BUT those ppl, though LEGALLY are my family, ARE NOT my family...my family in my heart would be my kids of course and the dearest of friends that I have in my life...the ppl who DO love me and my kiddies unconditionally.....Family values IMO is so misunderstood by the masses it would seem....I find that quite often if one is an "alternative" type person in any way shape or form or if they simply ARENT a cookie cutter person..the masses tend to claim they are moral-less and have no family values etc etc...when the reality is IMO we have MORE than your average bear....
• China
24 Jul 08
to me,fammily is more important than other things.no matter what happen,i will deffend my family resorting to all means.i leave with my fanther ,my mother and a young brother,i love them and they love me.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I, too had a wonderful childhood. I had a very close-knit family with grandparents across the street, great-grandparents up on the corner, and lots and lots of cousins who visited at least once a week. Some of my cousins, along with my sister, are my very best friends, even now. Any group of people who love and support each other are a family, if that is the way they see it. This group can be made up of people related by blood, or not. It can be made up of one parent, or two, or more. This group may be just a couple, or may include children, and the couple may be man and woman, both women, or both men. The important factor is the love they share. A family who loves and supports each other, who values each member, does have family values, no matter how that group came together, or who makes up the group.
• United States
24 Jul 08
One way isn't everyone's way. It's a very difficult concept for most people to comprehend. Things seem to get drilled into children's brains generation after generation almost without deviation and people forget to think for themselves. That goes for religion, lifestyle, sexuality, and the list goes on. Things are getting better but it's going to take a very long time to change perceptions that have been around for hundreds of years.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
24 Jul 08
A family is what you make of it! I have adopted a dad and other family members who are not related but wanted to be a part of my family and they agreed. Now it is better than nature intended, as our "real" families may not even talk with us.