i know you're talking about me! have the balls to tell me!!!

@dloveli (4369)
United States
September 13, 2008 6:40am CST
I have two jobs. One is a part timer at a donut shop. (Guess which one)lol. Seriously though. I work with two other women. All of whom speak very good english. Everytime I walk into the room they begin speaking in their language. Why? What is it they dont want me to hear? I could really care less what they think. THe fact is that its annoying and rude. WHy should you be able to speak in a language I dont understand, in my presence, in a public establishment. It also happens that the shop I work at is near a veterans hospital. So we have alot of old men, whose faculties arent what they used to be. The girls will begin speaking creole and laughing right in front of them. How awful!! I dont care what you do to me personally. Just have the guts to let me know! I hate being somewhere and have them begin speaking in their language as you walk in. Its rude!! I try to be fair to everyone. I get very upset when I see someone disrespecting the elderly for their own amusement. Thats bad enough. To speak in a language all present dont understand is just plain WRONG! What do you think? Have you ever been in this type of situation? Please tell.....
10 people like this
24 responses
• United States
13 Sep 08
Hi! I am from the Philippines and I am currently working in the U.S. I believe that it's rude to talk in our native tongue when we're around Americans, so I don't do that. It just takes empathy. I think there is a need to think what others could be feeling. Speaking in another language would give an impression that we are talking ill of another, even if that's not the case. Some people are just so insensitive, or are just plain rude to others. We have to look at ourselves first before giving a remark about another person's faults or inadequacies.
4 people like this
13 Sep 08
That is really rude and I am surprised their manager hasn't picked them up on it. I would ignore them, I doubt they have anything interesting to say that you'd want to know anyway!
3 people like this
13 Sep 08
Hi dloveli, Many years ago where I used to work, we had six Indians female workers there I have nothing against them because I tried to make friends with them and at lunch time they used to invite me to join them and even Had some of their food which was very nice4, but everytime one of the oldre ladies go pass the start talking about her in their own language and I didn't like it so I told them so and they said they was not talking about me, well I know that but was the older ladies they talking about and they were quite rude about so I just avoided them in the end. Tamara
3 people like this
• India
13 Sep 08
You can find such different type of people every where. They are made to do that you can not help them to correct them to make them understand that in a public place they should speak in the language which others can also understand. I think such a awful situation is very irritating and frustrating. How you are pulling sad. May god help you to save you from such situation.
3 people like this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
13 Sep 08
HAppens alot all around here. Ya go to a casino and they will be talking in thioer own language ya dont know what they are saying might be about you or some one else ya never know. And I alway go thro this when I go to my sons house his wife hardly talks English but talks Spanish and so fast I never catch a word I do know. And he talks back to her then I am not sure what is said at all . Unless he asks me a question or tells me afterwards what she has said.
3 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 08
It is not only wrong but shows a lack of breeding, ignorance and bad manners.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (90179)
• Marion, Kansas
13 Sep 08
I have not been in that situation. I have been in situations where people whisper and talk, and if it is not about me they sure give the impression it is. I agree, it is rude. Management could make a policy, but I doubt if they could or would enforce it. I see lots of good work policies that are unenforceable.You are right though, even if they are not talking about you, or the customers, it is very rude.
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
Good day.. It is outright rude to talk in a different tongue specially when you are in front of people that don't speak the language. If you want to speak in private then ask that with the person that you want to speak to but never use any foreign, body language or signs because that is really insulting.
2 people like this
@prajnith (942)
• India
14 Sep 08
its bad manners to speak in their native language when others cant understand that language. and its bad to make fun or disrespect the elder, they will realize when same thing hapens to them. when they come accross same sityation thay will realize how horrible it is..
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Sep 08
That is very rude. They may not be talking behind your back but rather talking about something that they are embarrassed for you to here. If i were you, i would take note of words they commonly use and look it up to find out what exactly they are saying, then you can find out what they really are talking about and if it isn't you, then you have nothing to worry about.
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
13 Sep 08
This happens to me all of the time, I work with many people from another country. I know they are rude and ignorant and I also know they don't care. I have mentioned it to HR but I think they are scared to approach them to say anything.
1 person likes this
@Bluepatch (2481)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Sep 08
I get that when I enter a room, one person looks at me, and everyone else gets very silent. Its hard to ignore and the truth is I don't want to know what the talk is. It will only upset or annoy me and start an arguement. The thing to do is to walk back out. But I guess you can't do that if you're on the job.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
13 Sep 08
You manager should take it upon themselves to let the woman know that they should be speaking english....if you get hired in english....then you should use it!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157677)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Sep 08
hi dloveli yes its just so rude and anybody would begin to wonder specially if they start as you walk in, that you might be getting mulled over by their gossipy tongues. There should be some kind of workplace rules mandating that they speak 'English after all their customers speak English. You just dont hide behind your native language solely to pick on someone. shame on them for talking about those elderly men like that. They will also be old one day and would they like to have someone talking about them and making fun of them in some other language. I have been in this situation with a bunch of spanish speaking mexicans who quite evidently were making fun of me as I tried to get one of the apartments washers to work. now if they knew the secret to the washer why did not one of them speak to me in English and tell me about it.No they just stood there making fun of me in spanish. It made me angry and hurt and just plain annoyed. not one ofthem offered to help me with this old washer. instead they talked and laughed and made fun of me. very hateful indeed and so upsetting too.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Sep 08
I hate it when people talk in a language I don't understand. So far only the Keralites have treated me this way. Even now, I steer clear from people speaking Malayalam. I have nothing against the language and the people. But I do protest against their dirty habit of talking Malayalam when I, a person who doesn't understand the language, am in front of them. Now, of course, I don't care! This was a big problem in college where all were from kerala except me. Now, if I see any Malayalam speaker, I flee for miles in the opposite direction. Cheers and happy mylotting
• Ireland
14 Sep 08
stop being paranoid, if they get on with you they will talk to you in english if not they wont end of story... go to work do your job and go home live your life and stop getting worked up about 2 people speaking another language - its not rude its just annoying because you cant understand what they are saying... perhaps they like each others company and prefer (find it more comfortable) to speak to each other in the language. End of the day - they are there to do a job not talk english to you all day and make you feel wanted? sorry if you take offense im just being honest.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Sep 08
I am not being paranoid; I am simply responding to a discussion. What one person thinks rude another might not. I think it is rude and I am not going to change my mind. I don't have the need to feel wanted. Never felt the need to feel wanted. But I have felt extremely uneasy when people talk in a strange language in front of me and laugh hysterically. I don't deny they were having a good time, but I was feeling uneasy. I have nothing against people speaking in their own languages. They may; this is a free country. But I am free to avoid them too. I am just being honest here. So no one needs to take offense. Cheers!!
• Australia
14 Sep 08
I have had that experience especially when they speak in another language and laugh, it makes me wonder "what are they saying about me? Are they saying rude things about me and laughing?" Also, would it hurt them to make you feel more welcome by including you? I think it's rude, i totally agree with you. It's really bad manners, and i wouldn't do that to someone else, or if i did speak in another language in front of others that didn't understand, at least i would have the courtesy to explain what we were talking about!
@msedge (4012)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I am a very sensitive woman and i don't like that attitude either specially when they talk behind my back.I really hate that.Its better to confront what i had done to offend them or whatever they don't like me.It is best to know why so that i will adjust if i can to avoid trouble.
• India
16 Sep 08
Ummmmmmmmmm not really, but in one of my former office, there were some girls who were from the same state and hence had a lot in common. During lunch break and such, they tended to stick together and gaggle a lot in their own language about everything under the sun. thankfully the language was Hindi which is our national language and so I quite followed them, but nevertheless, I felt quite left out and miserable. Regarding the veterans what they are doing is not right...why don’t you step up and help the senior citizens some more so that by and by these girls are ignored and you are preferred. I’m sure in time, the management will take note of this.
• United States
16 Sep 08
i hate that too!! its so rude and it always made me paranoid when it would happen to me like it does you.. but what can you really do?
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I think it is rude. They may not be talking about you but something they don't want others to hear, but it's still rude. I am a bit ballsy and would tape them, translate them and then say, "Oh, you know when you were talking about blah blah with so and so the other day? Well I think...." Or, start learning the language!!! I feel, if you want it to be private, save it for when no one is around as it's very, very rude. I would tell them so, too.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
14 Sep 08
I think you are absolutely right it is rude to talk in front of you in a different language, and to laugh at old people in a home is abuse and they should be reported for that.