When Your Past Doesn't Stay Dead and Buried

@wolfie34 (26881)
United Kingdom
October 6, 2008 8:44am CST
What do you do? Whack it on the head with a sledgehammer or try to dig a deeper hole and hope that it won't resurface again? All of us have pasts that we try to forget, try to bury them and forget them but what do you do when the past refuses point blank to stay buried under a mountain of earth no matter how hard you've buried it? How do you escape your past when it won't leave you alone? You try desperately to forget it, move on, but like death it stalks you, and waits until you are down or low then it strikes like a guillotine to your head Even if I moved to New Zealand it would follow me there, it seems to have a master key when I lock it in the cupboard and bolt it like Fort Knox out it pops! So what do you do when the past refuses to die and stay buried?
8 people like this
20 responses
@arthi_88 (1518)
• India
6 Oct 08
Is it okay to kill our past and bury it..I mean everybody makes mistakes and learns from it...Theremay be something you don't want to accept from your past butisn't it a part of your life..I often tried to do this when i wanted to keep one of my school mistake away from my college friends but one day they came to know it and said they were hurt that i tried to hide it from them...people who care about you wont care about your past..And still want to bury your past then then that would be running away..So I try to keep it as it is ..if it resurfaces and somebody wants an explanation I will be happy to give one..Have a nice day!!
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 08
Mistakes are part of who we are and we have to make them in life to learn and to move on and to forgive ourselves for making those mistakes and to not run away from them, I guess that is what I am doing, I am running away instead of facing them, but it's not easy to do. I guess I am not strong enough.
2 people like this
@arthi_88 (1518)
• India
6 Oct 08
Every is strong enough but we just need to try to understand our strength...if you already accept it that you are not strong enough how can you face your mistakes..just making ourselves beleive that we are strong works wonders for our mental strength..
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 08
Hence the power of positive thinking!
1 person likes this
@bellaofchaos (11553)
• United States
6 Oct 08
I hate to say this but sometimes the past doesn't stay buried because you have face it and accept it as part of yourself. I have things that I have in my past that I don't like but they are something that I have done and I'm less than proud of my stupidity but I was young and stupid and guess what we all make mistakes in life it's part of growing up and learning. To try and seperate yourself from part of you is asking for the past to come sneaking up on you. The more open and honest you are about the past and the more you deal with it the more it fades naturally into the backgroung because it has no power any more since you have removed it's power.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 08
I guess the more you try to hide the more it tries to find you, face it and it's like facing fear you overcome it and you can let it sleep!
2 people like this
• United States
6 Oct 08
Pretty much.. Good luck friend.
1 person likes this
@anawar (2406)
• United States
6 Oct 08
wolfie - my past lurks behind all my good memories. My new tactic is to let the memories in, not fight against them. Then I ask for something good to fill my mind to take the place of the negative thought. Sometimes it helps, sometimes no, but there is no escape. If they won't stay locked away, you have to face the pain head on and not be afraid. The past no longer exists, only in our mind. Probably no one remembers our past. I'm sending you advice based on the memories facing me right at this moment. travel lightly, anawar
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 08
Thank you my friend, we can learn from other people's experiences that's what makes Mylot such a wonderful place, we can help to heal each other in life's travels.
@anawar (2406)
• United States
6 Oct 08
You're correct. mylot is a unique experience. So many people have helped me get through hard times, helping you, evens the balance.
@Hatley (162156)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Oct 08
wolfie34 yes what do you do? My son got a bad credit rating due to our getting evicted from an aprt quite some time back, now we are in the process of being sponsored by a friend into an apt 6oo miles up the coast, and the ugly credit check is rearing it s damned head for my son and for his sponsor, what does one do to getout of this horrid situation? we must move,my son had lost his job over a month ago and this friend is sponsoring us for this apt where rents are a bit lower and jobs are more plentiful, and we are trying to get into this apt. if nothing else mylotters could you please send some p rayers our way for my son and me to get this apartment so we can move before we are in trouble here where we are staying? Maybe God will hear us again, his answer to my first prayers were this move so He must want us to succeed i hope, I am so stressed My son will leave on amtrack tonight and arrive at antioch at nine in the morning, do his business there, get some rest the nest night and return Wednesday. so please everyone can you spare a few prayers for his success thanks so much.
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
7 Oct 08
I don't pray my friend but I will certainly send over positive karma to you, I hope it all works out for you and your son, positive thinking and belief also works wonders. Wishing you all the best!
• Canada
17 Oct 08
I understand what you are refering to. Like the mistakeds you have made will resurface. I find myself thinking about the past mostly when I am trying to get to sleep when I have had too much coffee. When this happens I grab one of my many books form the bedside table and get totally engrossed in it. It clears my head, makes me sleepy and does me the world of good. Good luck
1 person likes this
@rickiely (257)
• Australia
7 Oct 08
hello wolfie34, Well, i can't really do anything about, the bad memories flow right back into my head whenever i am sad or depressed. Actually, typing this is reminding me of the bad happenings when i was young.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
6 Oct 08
It all depends on what your past is. I mean if you have an ex, had an illegitimate child, were in jail, had the physical evidence, lived a certain lifestyle, or other things that you want to forget then your past will always show up. If you were changing your lifestyle, your past will still catch up and usually the only way to escape is with those who do want you to help you escape your lifestyle. If you are trying to get away from those who would drag you down, then there is usually two choices, the church or the law. Now if you were part of a mob when you were young, then all you have to do is to move, live as an upright citizen and no one will bother you. But it is something that you have taken place of, there are those who do not want you to change. You just have to know where to look.
@nannacroc (4049)
6 Oct 08
Don't lock it up, let it out, share it. Whatever has happened in our lives has made us who we are. You need to work through the past with someone and find the positives from it. Sounds a bit simple but maybe I'm not the one to help because most of my past has been happy.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Ahhh yes, the past. Sometimes it chases me in nightmares while I sleep. Other times it follows me in feelings of dread, guilt, or sadness. I guess what I TRY to do is look it straight in the eye, accept the past as a learning experience that taught me many lessons, and then put it back on the shelf for the next time I need a reminder. I haven't been able to bury my past. Its too much a part of me. So, it stays there, ready to jump out as a reminder of lessons learned when I need it. For me anyway, being able to live with the past, rather than burying it has made me a much stronger person.
1 person likes this
@irisheyes (4375)
• United States
6 Oct 08
I just basically assume that anybody over the age of 25 has some kind of past and I don't hold it against them. That's the great part about the 1960's and 70's. Like they say: "if you remember any of it, you weren't there". LOL
1 person likes this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
6 Oct 08
I have learned the hard way that the reason the past is resurfacing is because there are things that still need to be dealt with. Forgetting will get you nowhere my dear. You need to remember, no matter how painful so that you do not make the same mistakes or let the same thing happen again. I have also learned that just because you have dealt with things in the past does not mean that the person you went through them with has or ever will and there is nothing you can do about it. Once you have truly learned the lesson that you needed to you can find ways to cope with things that are trying to haunt you but you will have enough of your power back not to let it.
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 08
Oh I certainly ain't making the same mistakes again my friend why do you think I am so damn sure that I will stay single for the rest of my life!
1 person likes this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
7 Oct 08
I wasn't sure what part of the past you were talking about so I was just speaking in general.
• Canada
6 Dec 09
Yeah, I can think of a few things I'd like to whack. I tend to confront them and get them out in the open, to battle them before they come out and battle me. I like to get things resolved, even if I end up "resolving" them a little too swiftly. LOL
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
7 Oct 08
You can only treasure the knowledge that you take with you from all of your lifes experiences.You do have the right to remind people that it was in the past and it is behind you.Dont dwell on it and close the door to it. If someone trys to bring it up , you can always say,that if you left it behind so should they because its over.
• Philippines
7 Oct 08
I know that feeling wolfie, its quite irritating and sometimes all the memories good or bad somehow affects you. No one i guess in the entire universe who doesnt have a past that one wish never happend or at least be buried on the deepest part of the earth. What I did one time was dealt with it though it brought back the hurt I tried to forget. It took a greater courage to face and put closure over it. After I did, it gave me a relief and a courage within me that whenever or wherever I cross or encounter that past again I know I can deal it with my head up high
@drakesuyat (1064)
• Philippines
7 Oct 08
you can never really escape from your past unless you face it and solve it courageously. only then will you be able to move on and take it as a good lesson that you'll always consider to avoid if from happening again.
@kean28 (226)
• Philippines
7 Oct 08
they always say past it past and we have to bury the hatchet once its over but its never gotten that easy to forget it nor wont think about it..i guess no people can ever forget a thing that had happened already..there's no such thing..it will always be there in us..reason it will not leave us alone is because it has been part of our life and will always will be...the only thing that we can do with it is just to move on and learn from it but not try to eliminate it because it will just bring us stress and depression in our lives...till such time it will be a burden and it will mark a greater scar that we can never run away with...I'm no expert with it but i am trying not to hold grudge with the past...
• India
7 Oct 08
LOL!! You do start the most interesting discussions. :) I don't think we can ever forget the past. It is there hidden in the memory bank. So forgetting it is rather out of our jurisdiction, if that is the right word to use. However, we do have the power of stopping it from hurting us. No sense in letting a person or an incident in the remote past still have power over us, right? Of course, it is not as easy as that. I still get angry and upset when I think about the past or rather when the past attacks me out of blue. This makes it all the more important to "forgive" all those oppressive characters of the past and make our present better. After all, it is only the present that matters. The past is gone; the future has not yet come. Only the present is real. Cheers and happy mylotting
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
7 Oct 08
Funny you started this today. I have been having night mares about people from the past that I want nothing to do with, from cheating friends to slimy co-workers and managers, practically everyone - YIKES I woke up vomitting that's how sick I am when I remember what they did. I don't know how to bury it, the memory stays no matter what I have said and done to leave them in the past. People have told me many times to forgive, or accept them as part of who I am today. So probably that's what happens. I don't forgive, I can't, not for what they did. I guess I do accept them as part of who I am today and so the memories keep returning. I think this happens as remainder or probably a warning that I will meet people like that (perhaps exactly the same people) which is a good thing in a way at least I am warned!
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
6 Oct 08
Hi wolfie, It is sometimes difficult to keep your past where it belongs, in the past. At the moment I feel that I have done pretty well but as you say things have a habit of stalking you, and you never know when it will jump up and bite you. I am determined however that it will not get to me. Blessings.
@pkraj111 (2460)
• India
6 Oct 08
To be truthful I try to hide my forgettable past and hope that it will never resurface again. I have done some things without thinking and now I want no one ever comes to know about that. The secrets are still buried so it is difficult to tell how I would react. But I think if it comes to worst point I will speak the truth myself.