Would you tell your spouse how much salary you get?

sshhh......no salary discussion, honey........ - Mot men hesitate to discuss salary with spouse.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
India
December 20, 2008 2:02am CST
I know many people who aren't quite comfortable with talking about their income with their spouses. They have this hush hush thing about it, even when with their spouses. It's like a secret they must not reveal! So would you tell your spouse how much you earn?
13 people like this
35 responses
@dpk262006 (56563)
• Delhi, India
20 Dec 08
Ha! Ha! Ha! I could not stop myself laughing when I went through your post. What an 'interesting' discussion and I wonder how such marvellous thoughts come into your mind. You are right some of men do not tell their exact salary to their spouse or vice versa. However, I always tell the truth because it gives a clear picture to my better half, who is also a working lady. She should have an idea, how much we both earn and how to manage house-hold affairs. Transparency in financial matters always proves good for healthy relationship of a husband and wife. I am the 'Finance Manager' of the home, therefore, I tell her, how 'funds' comes in the home and how these are 'spent' on various activities and how much is saved out of the income. One of my colleagues and his wife both work in my office, so even if my colleague wishes to conceal his actual salary, he cannot do, because her wife knows, how much salary one gets in the office.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
lol.... I have known people who have a BIg ego issue about revealing their salaries! I find that this could make their wives wrong impression and they might feel left out, specially if they are non-working themselves. Things get easier in Govt. sector unlike private sectors where earning could fluctuate. And coming to the buiness men, its even more difficult. lol...
@dpk262006 (56563)
• Delhi, India
22 Dec 08
Some people (read husbands)have a tendency to conceal their real income, lest their wives start demanding more money from them or start raising new demands.........LOL!
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
23 Dec 08
Poor husbands!
@drannhh (15247)
• United States
20 Dec 08
Of course. We live in a community property state. Here it is not allowed for people to be secretive about their assets. It was not like that a few years back, though, when men tried to hide their income from their wives. When women got a little more equality the laws changed. That was a good thing. Back then it was unheard of for a woman to earn more than here husband. I used to know some women who turned down promotions because they didn't want their husbands to be upset. Hah! They must have been married to idiots.
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
20 Dec 08
Shockingly, it still the case wit many here drahhnn and that's why I started this discussion. While the women are supposed to, the me can get away with it and coming to that promotion my cousin sister did that a few years back!
4 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
20 Dec 08
It would be wrong on my part if I don't mention that there are men who just hands over their to their wives and that doesn't make them less man.
3 people like this
@drannhh (15247)
• United States
20 Dec 08
Yes, as little as one generation ago, men here could sell the family home without even telling their wives. They could come home early from work one day and say "Pack up we are moving. I sold the house and we have to be out by tomorrow." I know one woman who had 2 little kids and a big garden and livestock even, and she canned much of the family's food from the garden and her husband did exactly that. She was supposed to just leave half a year's work behind and go start somewhere else with little kids in tow.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
20 Dec 08
i would like to know about my spouses income .but it should not be a sort of compulsion.i think trust and transperancy should be in every relationship but the partner should also respect each others views.
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
20 Dec 08
Yes, that's should be it but I am afraid that's not the case with all. I just wish this transparency prevails on the both the spouses cases.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
20 Dec 08
yup,the women are down -trodden since ages,that they now find it difficult to stand up for their rights.
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
Sadly, that's true in most cases here..
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
20 Dec 08
Most definitely. Why would i want to hide it ? After all a marriage is to be built around trust, and a lot of misunderstanding and mistrust does get created due to money. I would also do it for the reasons of wanting to jointly plan the expenses and savings of the family. There are few friends i know who would even hand over thier entire income to their wives and take from them only what they deem necessary for thier day to day expenses. That is of course is a decision they have taken as they found the wives to be very wise and efficient at planning and maintaining the expenses.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
• Canada
22 Dec 08
My Brother is somewhat like this. His wife is very good at budgeting so she basically tells him how much he can and cannot spend on certain things. he has a say too though. He just finds it easier to let her deal with the finances.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
Yes, Alok, money could bring about bitter consequences and i havebeen there. Transparency and trust must be there in a relationship and confiding in one's spouse makes the relationship so much fomder. And coming to the men who think that their wives are actually better fund managers, I have seen my father largely ensuring the fund management to my mom. She is very smart with it. On many occasions I have actually seen my father borrowing money from her.
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
20 Dec 08
Boyfriend actually knows what I'm being paid at work. And now you got me thinking, he knows exactly how much I get paid but I only have an idea as to his. I guess I'm just open to how much I make (not to everyone, of course). I show him my pay stub and I'm sure I've said it out loud how much I got paid on a certain day or something.
• Canada
22 Dec 08
My parents once saw my paystub and realized how much I was making and started making me pay rent. lol of course this was back when I was an assisstant manager at a major grocery chain. Now I make less then half of that.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
In my place the most women are comfortable, they are uninhibitated. On the contraty men , some men have a tendency to be sneaky with it! Even though things have been changing in urban India, its too less.
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
23 Dec 08
I think it takes a lot of time for a society to accept changes in roles between men and women, especially if it's a country that's more male-oriented. Where I came from, I am sure there are still a lot of wives who do not know how much their husbands' salaries are and they just wait for them to hand them the budget and they run the house with that money. In my case, I don't mind telling Boyfriend (or any close friends or family) how much I'm making. I don't, on the other hand, ask others what they make though. I think if they feel comfortable enough to tell me, they will. If not, I don't nudge them to tell me. Happy Holidays, Mimpi and Monkeyrose.
• Norway
20 Dec 08
yes, i always tell my hubby how much im earning from my work, so as he. we shared money, actually. but we have our own money in our own accounts. We never fight because of money. we always make sure that we agreed about everything that is relevant with the "money" thing. Its a nonsense reason to fight for.
2 people like this
• Canada
22 Dec 08
I'm glad to hear that you never fight about money. Money is often something that comes between friends and often spouses.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
I agree with Rose there. Money could end a relationship! I am glad that you are working it out fine. Good luck!
@derek_a (10902)
20 Dec 08
My wife knows exactly how much money I earn and I know what she earns too. It's always been that way as it was with my parents too. I think it always best to be open and honest with my partner. :-) Derek
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
That's very good to know Drek. Ireally appreciate.
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
22 Dec 08
Hi Mou well i dont mind sharing with my wife so she must know how much i earn how much are expenses do we need to spend more or save more So, nothing to hide Take care
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
23 Dec 08
Thanks zass, nice thougts there.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
23 Dec 08
thanks
1 person likes this
@apsara60 (6612)
• Israel
24 Dec 08
Cupid.......Good Hubby....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Dec 08
my partner and i know how much the other earns. the only time we keep our earnings secret is when we get unexpected bonuses. sometimes we won't tell the other for a while because we're planning a surprise. and then the other finds out through the surprise present or dinner out or tickets somewhere, etc.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
31 Dec 08
That's a great way to spice up married life!
• Singapore
26 Dec 08
yeah, both of us are pretty open with each other financially...i mean, we even share a bank account...it helps us to both keep track on the spending.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
26 Dec 08
Tanks Eunice. I just hope by now you two are together. Wish you a wonderful life ahead! Nice to hear from you after a long time. Have a blessed life.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
25 Dec 08
Why not? If I get married to someone, I would be sharing my life, my everything with him. Including my past present and future. Same way my thoughts, emotions and finances as well. It is difficult to find a true companion but then this is life.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
26 Dec 08
I agree worthy. A true companionship means that, trust, transparency, understanding and sharing. And trust me, good people are there - its just a matter of time. How you doing? Wish you a wonderful year ahead.
1 person likes this
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
23 Dec 08
hi, mimpi1911 yes i would. i do not like keeping secrets from my husband, especially when it comes to money. i also believe that he does not want to keep secrets from me about his earnings. in fact, we have been sharing a bank account even before we got married. have a nice day and see ya around!
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
24 Dec 08
That's good to know. wish you a blessed life.
1 person likes this
@j47lee (742)
• Canada
23 Dec 08
Of course... my husband tells me and sometimes shows me his cheque too... why the hush hush with your soul mate...
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
24 Dec 08
I agree and that should be it. Merry Christmas.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11053)
• India
22 Dec 08
Marriage is all about trust. So I think both the spouses have to be very open to each other. It does help in the financial situation at home and also in the savings. I would not have liked my spouse hiding his income from me.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
23 Dec 08
Thanks for your thoughts, I really appreciate.
1 person likes this
@apsara60 (6612)
• Israel
24 Dec 08
yes mimpi, why not.......Me and my hubby have no reason to hide anything.....besides, here we don't get salary in hand, it goes straight to our banks and when we get bank statements, we can see not only rupees but even paisa...ha ha ha...and to tell you the truth, after paying all the loans and bills, we are always in minus (overdraft).....so nothing to hide dear........may be if one of us will win some lottery , then we would start hiding things........ Have a nice day dear.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
24 Dec 08
That's pretty transparent scenario....
2 people like this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
24 Dec 08
hi Aps u still got salary in Rupees and Paisa???
2 people like this
@apsara60 (6612)
• Israel
24 Dec 08
Yes mimpi, my whole life is as transparent as water and cupidji, I used the term Rupees and piasa to make it easy for mimpi to understand, other wise currency here is Shekel and agorot.......hope ab tumko sukoon mil gaya hoga.......
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12071)
• India
25 Jan 09
I'm not sure about the 'would' you tell part. I already have. My husband knows my take home salary as well as the other benefits. I personally think that a spouse needs to know about every detail and that goes for the wife knowing about the husband's income too. But sometimes, it's not really a good idea because one or the other tends to take advantage of it. I don't think that's right...but I still do not believe in hiding such details from the spouse even when they take advantage.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
25 Jan 09
oops...a mistake on my part...you can see I was fiddling around (as usual)..lol
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
25 Jan 09
When you say that one might take advantage of it - its certainly not a proper relationship so to speak. i feel, a proper relationship must be transparent and uninhabited no matter what. And dear you are allowed to do as many typos you can afford to here...
@SViswan (12071)
• India
9 Oct 09
Yes, you are right about it not being a proper relationship. But considering the number on not so perfect relationships, it's always better to be cautious.
@Monkeyrose (2850)
• Canada
22 Dec 08
I don't have a spouse so I don't really know. I know that many people think its a taboo to talk about how much money you make but I don't really care. I do think that spouses need to know each other's income though. You are a team working together and paying for things together. You need to know how much each other makes in order to budget appropriately. I also think its a sign of trust. Of course each couple has their own way or dealing with money. If it works then go for it.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
23 Dec 08
I agree Rose. Transparency and trust are two major thing in any relationship and we must respect each others privacy also but when it comes to salary we mustn't be secretive. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 Dec 08
Besides. I really don't see any reason to hide the salary from your spouse. It poses no benefit.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
23 Dec 08
I agree.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
Hey!^_^ I would definitely tell my spouse just how much Im getting cause that way we both can manage our finances together. Of course it would be ideal if we also have separate accounts as well as a joint one so we can spend for us as a couple and also have something aside for ourselves. Its nice to be transparent in a marriage especially when it comes to finances since keeping these things from each other can only evoke conflict and the couple might end up arguing..^_^
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
23 Dec 08
Yes BJ, having separate accounts make sense and that is in a way good. Thanks for a nice response, as always. You would be a perfect spouse...
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
23 Dec 08
You're welcome. Thats very flattering but... no one is perfect Merry Christmas!
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
24 Dec 08
1 person likes this
@balasri (26553)
• India
20 Dec 08
She knows how much I was earning then and how much I am earning earning now.I don't want to give false hopes and want her to know how rich or poor she is.I am more concerned about the future of her and our child.I must make her prepared to live whatever she is getting every month and whatever she will get in the future too.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
22 Dec 08
That's so good to know Bala. However, it did not come as asecet at all. The Queen must knowverthing and more.
@balasri (26553)
• India
25 Dec 08
Yes she sure does.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
30 Dec 08
I don't really see anything wrong with telling your mate how much your salary is. There shouldn't be any secrets when it comes to that let alone any secrets at all. Keeping your salary a secret does not make much sense to me. It doesn't hurt to share what you make with your husband unless you are trying to hide something.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
31 Dec 08
Very well said and I agree totally.