Would You Be Ashamed To Receive Charity?

United States
December 26, 2008 1:41pm CST
When I was in high school, they used to have can food drives for Christmas and Thanksgiving. They'd collect all of the can goods and put them in a box with along with a turkey or ham and bags of fruit. They also would take lists from needy families and buy the children Christmas presents. One of the teachers was talking about in class one day, and a girl asked her who got the boxes. The teacher said that they were for students at the school who came from poor families and told the girl that the people's names were sent to the faculty and staff through an e-mail. Then the girl got all snobby and said "I'd be embarrassed to get a charity box!" Why would you be embarrassed. If you were really in need, wouldn't you want help? I know some people have pride and don't want hand outs, but I felt like that was really stuck up of that girl to say that. Would you be ashamed to receive charity?
3 people like this
24 responses
@healer (1784)
• India
27 Dec 08
Yes i 'll also get embarrassed if i get that charity box even though i know they are only trying to help and i should be happy. The main point here is it separates her or us from the other friends as deep inside something is embedded. Its actually great work to do such things and during our school days we use to do the same like, collecting old clothes or what we want to donate and gave it to the beggars who are homeless and without proper clothes and we feel relieved so there is the thin line when the point embarrassed should surface even if its a great favour.
1 person likes this
@BlueGoblin (1833)
• United States
27 Dec 08
Yes, I would be ashamed to receive charity. I was taught to work for things I wanted. I think it would hurt my pride. I have always been independent. I never wanted help from anyone. For some people accepting charity is easy but for people like me it is not. People like me also want to look good in their community and not look like a lowlife that doesn't work for a living. People have a certain image of poor people and they look down on them. Some deservedly so but others don't deserve such treatment. Some poor people aren't poor because they are lazy. Some poor people were hit by layoffs and had tough time finding work. I think when you're a teenager you have a tough time seeing the difference between the two. You just see poor people as being scums at that age.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
27 Dec 08
Pride is a hard thing to deal with at times. About five years ago I was struggling alot financially and I headed to the local food bank for food. My first time there and I was nervous. As I walked down the hallway two workers said loudly "If some of these people would get a job they wouldn't need hand outs." I was so embaressed I left in tears - without any food. I sat in my car and cried for awhile before I could drive home. You see what they didn't know by looking at me is I have serious health problems that have me on disability. I CAN'T work. I've never gone back. There are some months when I would LOVE some free food, where I'm living off of pennies to try and buy groceries, but my memories of that time and my pride get in my way. Should I be ashamed, no.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 08
i think when persons say that they would be embarrassed to receive a charity box, its because they have never been in the position were they really needed help. for me accepting a charity is no problem when i know i have a wife and 2 kids at home that have not eaten in 2 days i would be the first in line. yeah people will look at you different but at the end of the day i was able to provide a meal for my family. although i may not be 100% comfortable with the process of getting the meal, at the end of the day result is the same hungry people need to eat and drink
1 person likes this
@peavey (14944)
• United States
26 Dec 08
I don't think there's anything wrong with being embarrassed to take charity. It means that one has enough pride to want to take care of oneself. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't take charity if your circumstances need it. Taking it and being embarrassed about it are two different things. Sometimes I think this world would be better if people were embarrassed a little more.
@sixclix (677)
• Philippines
27 Dec 08
you have a point there.
@CRSunrise (2964)
• United States
26 Dec 08
I'm one of those people who need to receive Charity. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to feed my children. My children are more important than my pride at times. I need to be able to feed my children, and until my husbad gets back to work, we need to do what we can.
• United States
28 Dec 08
I agree with you. I think that girl responded that way because she was never in that position before. Would you expect someone to just go on starving because of "embarrassment?" I don't like her comment because comments like that are what make the needy kids feel embarrassed of their financial position even though it isn't their fault that they are there. I think I would be embarrassed if I was around the grade level of that girl simply because of comments like that from people who don't understand what it's like to be in that position. I think that it's something that's taught to people from young ages even though it's not taught formally. People are told that they don't want to grow up to beg and while that's true it also seems to have a connotation of poverty as being something to be ashamed of. I think if I was the age that I am now I might be a little ashamed but if I need it then I have to take what I can get.
• Philippines
27 Dec 08
I am working as a staff of a NGO, and what we do usually is asking stuff and doing fund raising in my church and other organization who has heart for the poor. And what we do with the money or stuff that we get is we give it to the under previledge people of our community or other area here in our country. It is not that easy some times I feel uncomfortable and ashamed reason I dont go to people who doesn't know my line of work or doesn't understand what I am doing. And plus my life itself is a charity. We dont get any salary from doing this and we have dedicated our lives in doing this. So there are people who are like us too or who believe in what we are doing to give financila support to us. We could work and get paid good amount if we want to since we have finished a degree but we do beleive that God has a different purpose for us. Reasons that he never fails and sustains us. This Christmas we do give a party to over two thousand children around Manila and Olongapo, Philippines. We gave out toys and groceries and candies. But all those that we gave are also given out by other people whose heart are set on blessing those families this christmas. And indeed we saw faces with amazing smile when they received their gifts. All glory to HIM!
@mikeysmom (2095)
• United States
27 Dec 08
no. there is no shame in needing some help from time to time. the only shame is in the people who use the system to get out of working and sit home on their butts. there are people who are down and out for many good reasons and they deserve all the help they can get and should not be ashamed to get it.
@dio123 (1790)
• India
27 Dec 08
It depends on the situation where you get the charity and by whom, If anybody is really in need and living life in scarcity then charity by some organization or by individual can be welcomed. But it will be really embarrassing for people who really did not need for any charity.
@oldboy46 (2133)
• Australia
27 Dec 08
If a person is in genuine need, then why should they be embarassed to receive charity? It is more so if it means they can feed their children, keep them clothed, warm and a roof over their heads. I am not talking about that very small percentage of people who do not try to help themselves at all but those who find themselves in such a situation due to circumstances over which they have no control. I have been fortunate that I have never been in a position where I had to accept help from one of the recognised charitable institutions. However I have been in a situation where I might have been looking for that sort of help had it not been for my brother and sister-in-law. They were the ones who realised how bad things were financially for us when my partner and I started living together. They made sure we had enough healthy food in our home, that our children received some presents for Christmas and birthdays and that we had enough money to buy the necessities. When it comes to taking care of children, pride should not come into it. The choice is very simple as far as I am concerned. That is you feed the children and forget the pride, at least as far as accepting help when you need it. These days my partner and I are in a position where we can help others and we do that through a couple of the charitable organisations in our area. We give them some of our organic fruit and vegetables every year and they distribute them to the needy. We do not have a problem with that at all and are only too happy to know that some person is able to eat and enjoy something that they might not otherwise be able to. The alternative is that we throw this produce out, i.e. we work it back into the soil. From personal experience we know that charitable organisations can only distribute what is donated to them. People who cannot afford to do so will not make a donation of any sort, so what the charities have is freely given.
• Philippines
27 Dec 08
Nope, I won't be ashamed to receive a charity, its a blessing that it chooses you to give..
• United States
27 Dec 08
I think everyone has their proud moments where they really do not want to recieve help but I think if you're really down and out and really need the help, it's OK to recieve the help and if they are being generous then what is the big deal is recieving the help if you truly need it? Everyone needs a little help sometimes and it may be embarrasing but it's not the end of the world. It just means that someone out there really cares that those families recieve help and they're receiving it. I would consider it a blessing.
@sid556 (31029)
• United States
27 Dec 08
I was in a very bad situation years ago....single mom & raising 3 girls & getting no child support. I worked but my job barely paid the rent let alone lights, heat, gas for my junk car etc. It was very hard to ask for help and most times I did not. I did have some boxes delivered to my home from some unknown source. I was very very grateful and sorry that I didn't know who did it so I could have thanked them. Pride is good but it can be overdone. If you are truly trying and you need help you should not be ashamed to ask for it nor to take it. We all need a little help at times in one way or another.
@lumenmom (1997)
• United States
27 Dec 08
There was a time when I would say I would be ashamed. I have been working and making my own way since the age of 14 and I always thought I would be in control of that situation. Yet life has a way of throwing some unexpected curve balls and we are hit with the reality check that we are not in control of many things. Even though I still find it hard to ask for help, I have had to let go of some of my pride and allow other people the chance to bless me as I have been able to bless people for so many years. I always felt so good when I could help somebody and make life a little bit easier for them. Others want the opportunity to do the same.
@chiyosan (29393)
• Philippines
27 Dec 08
if we are to receive freely from people who are willing to give wholeheartedly and would have nothing to say about me, then i guess i would feel "shy" but not ashamed. it is always better to ask for help because there are people who are willing to help...
@sudalunts (5528)
• United States
27 Dec 08
Noone ever knows what may happen to them. I never thought that I would be in the situation I am in now. I lost my job six months ago, I have not been able to find another one. With the way the economy is now, so many people are out of work, and the job market has slimmed down. No I am not ashamed to accept charity, actually I was given food from the food pantry of my church last week. I am not a lazy person, I have always worked and was capable of taking care of myself. sometimes sh*t happens.
@lourry (72)
• China
27 Dec 08
frankly, i would be ashamed to receive charity and as an energetic young guy, personally i would like to be independent and capable of living on myself. besides, giving to charity to help those who indeed need,especially those children independent of economy from needy families would be part of my goals in future. wish you good luck and happy mylotting.
@SHAMRACK (8350)
• India
26 Dec 08
Dear friend, Being ashamed while receiving charity depends for for what they are giving this and how much dedication and love they put in that charity. Moreover I do even given charity to others if they feel ashamed I may too feel bit sad. Hence I do now a bit of feelings in me when I give charity to others. Hence I receive it in well heart if the giver is giving it in good intention and also if possible would give those charity I received to other who really needs it.
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
26 Dec 08
I see it not as a charity, but as a "loan". When I was in great need, I received help. Now, I'm helping, in my turn, others that are in need. I never, ever thought, in my life I'll have to ask for anything from strangers, but life has its unexpected turns. So, I had to ask, and I received.And it was such a good feeling, I'll never forget. That's why I vowed to help others as soon as I'll be back on my feet. And I do. Only the very youn or very arogant would not receive, give or appreciate help. Of any kind.