How to Let Go?

Don't you think over a year of healing is enough though? I can't even ask another girl out without thinking about my ex!

hmm...good point thanks I will try that. My problem is I have friends that are friends of both of us and I can almost swear they keep giving her info on me.

Also, if you have things like movie stubs,pictures or any things that remind you of when you were with her put them away. Don't throw them away but put them out of sight cause that will only remind you.

Sorry to post again but I finally read the whole story. Ok, my very first b/f...gee I was 19, kind of a late bloomer...first broke up with me because he wanted to be around his friends more than having a g/f being tied downn to just up and broke up. I took a deep breath and told him calmly "OK but remember you will never be able to get over me".We tried to stay friends but if was more difficult on me so I stopped calling him for for around 4 months then one day I called and he seemed happy to hear my voice and wanted me to visit BUT I brought my best friend so I wouldn't do anything stupid.So we met up and it went ok, I still had feelings but I was more like a friend to him. Then my birthday was coming up and he paid a visit to me and we had fun then he wanted to be back together so I agreed.2 months later he moved about 250 miles away to go to college an we tried a long distance relationship...I was fine with it but that December holiday he again said he wanted to break up.Again I said ok but I told him I would stay in contact by letters. I told my ex-b/f I had a chance to go out with a new guy and I was unsure on whether or not I should do it because my best friend really liked him so I asked if she would feel alright and she said it was ok so I started dating my second b/f then my first b/f came back for spring break and we met up again but I only took a drive with him and his friend.My first wanted more but I was already dating my second b/f. It is funny now i still have letter my first b/f wrote when I wouldn't get back with him...my thing has always been "snooze, you loose" Even now I have a smile on my face remembering I was thinking"I told you so""you will never be able to get over me"Well anyway I did get over him...I married my second b/f then divorced and I moved on my way. It took me around 19 months to feel better about myself to be able to date someone else.There was 19 months when I had no b/f. I dated alot and wasn't ready to give up being single.My 3rd b/f was only 20 and I was 36.B/f 4 is who i am with now.My b/f now knows all of this what I've written.I'm telling you this to prove it is possible to be able to live again, Just take care of yourself, remember how to live and have fun.As for the mutual friends you and your ex have..well try not to let too much info out. My b/f was wondering who your ex-g/f cheated with and was it also a mutual friend of yours.Find new friends that won't stab you in the back.Last thing about keeping letters or reminders I have kept all from ex's, mainly the things from b/f 1 is more valuable than other things I have from other b/f. Even my b/f now has things he got from MY first b/f, my b/f 1 is an artist and when b/f1met b/f 4 b/f1 told b/f4 never do anything stupid like hurt me cause he'd never get over it or me.Hope you will feel better

Well for as long as you would want it to last. There are times that people just wanted to last it longer because they want it to remain in there and holding on to it longer. Start choosing to live happy and be yourself again. Bring back the old you without her in your life. People say that its really hard but they are the ones imposing it to their life not her or anybody but you.

but how long does it have to last? I have been in this tunnel for over a year now almost two.

So I have to just be who I was before her? Okay thanks I will take that advice.

You have the same set of friends? How come? Did both of you work on the same office or did you met during your school days for you to have the same set of friends? If you think she's keeping tabs on you thru your common friends maybe she's still interested. Why would she keep tabs on you if the relationship is really over? Frankly, I could not decipher the real status of your relationship because you never mentioned why the two of you broke up.

Ok. I read the post below me. Now I know the real score on your relationship. I guess you should move on man, forget her. After all you have done for her she should be appreciative of the effort you made. She purposely cheated on you after you've been dating again just to get back at you. And your common friends are not really your friends. They are her friends, her friends has just stab you in the back. They did not even explain to her that you did not cheated on her. The way she handles your relationship in times of trial will show her true character. I'm telling you now if this is just a sneak peak of her true color things would still get worst. Move on man. Continue your studies and move back to another state. Make new friends.

Even though I do live in another state then her now, we both had the same friends, and I don't think it would be right to lose those friends...even though I am afraid you may be right because I can almost swear they keep tabs on me for her.

I wouldn't go out expecting anything because if you let your hopes get up they may fall down so I wouldn't just let things try to fall into place by waiting for it. You're going to have to keep yourself busy with other friends and do things that you would not do with your exgirlfriend. That's the keyword here "NEW" so do new things.

so start new hobbies and all that are totally different, make a life change in other words. Okay thanks...wow so much work lol.

But how do I go about restarting a new relationship? I mean I can't even talk to another girl without thinking of my ex.

First love is hard to forget. But after reading the above post and what she had done to you, you should move on. You deserve someone better. I know you have common friends but I get these vibe that they are more her friends than they are yours. It would not help if you keep associating yourself with your common friends. I'm not saying that you should avoid them, what I'm saying is take a break from all of them for a while. You would always remember her if keep hanging out with them. Change your email address and make new friends. There are a lot here in mylot who could be your friends.

so don't search for another fish, but wait for one to swim to you?

Very true very true friend -)

California sized states or Rhode Island sized states. Just kidding... Well that does make it harder than if there were problems with the relationship. But maybe it will end up being one of those 'found each other again and were very happy' stories after you are done with school.

lol...that is the problem...the relationship did work...only reason why we seperated was because I moved like seven states over to go to school.

don't I wish lol, too bad I swear she keeps tabs on me...

But is it odd for over a year?

It is not necessarily that odd. You probably had strong feelings for this person. You sound like a caring and loyal person for sure. You will find someone that you can give yourself to and love them completely. They will love you back. You will know when you find that right person.

lol I just can't stand it when I go up to a girl and when I go to to use a pick up line I just ruin it somehow and make a geek of myself because I then think of something she said about that particular line lol...

like I asked this chick out to coffee once...and instead I asked her if she ever spilt coffee on herself and asked then if she had to get help getting it cleaned up. I know its corny and cheesy but it was I literally said instead of what I wanted to say lol

no problem man good luck trying to let go anywayz one day you'll find your true love i'm certain

LOL thanks gbeast that means a lot, really. and yea your right...love is complicated...and erm good luck when that conversation happens between you and your dad-)

well I must admit that is a first scream if it helps...I will try that actually lol. Thanks.

If only I could do this...I can't even go up to a girl and ask them out with trouble of remembering her.

Well...that is the problem she was like my equal the one that suited me so to speak...I am picky, but whenever I try to move on I just remember her how do I fix that part?

In your situation, it is really not very good for you to ask somebody out. Just leave yourself alone and try to forget her first.

So move on and think about relationships later okay thanks

I can't even move on without feeling guilty or whenever I ask someone else out I think of her and just screw everything up.

thanks I never thought about it in that sense. It is true, I did somewhat use her as an inspiration, question though how do I ask another one out when all that happens is that I remember her when I ask someone else out?

I have tried this..we did a lot of items together, and well everything reminds me of her lol.