Iam not starting discussions anymore!

@dfollin (13728)
United States
January 15, 2009 12:37pm CST
Previously I have been told by responders many times that they have seen this discussion before.Ok,but there has been people join since then and possibly missed this discussion.Then today,I received a response twisting my words to make it sound like I was hurting my daughter and then telling me that I should be hurt.Another response said that I am causing the problem.There are many of other responders that have the same problem with their child.Just because I asked for a medical opinion.And none of this is true. Therefore I am going to just respond to discussions instead of start any.
9 people like this
30 responses
@CRIVAS (1819)
• Canada
15 Jan 09
I am sorry that you feel that way. I wouldn't pay attention to them too much. The people that really know you, should know the real kind of person that you are. I think that you should keep starting the discussions and just keep in mind that some people just have nothing nice to say in general. Others just say the things that they say for the sake of posing a response. I am sorry that there are people twisting your words, maybe you should try to talk to them and see if that helps. Otherwise, not sure what else you can do. I hope that something I have told you helps. Keep your chin up.
3 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Thanks.People shouldn't reply to me in that manor if they do not know me.They should get to know me first.
1 person likes this
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Oh don't feel offended by some my lotters. Alot of people on here feel like some people are copying their discussions and they lash off at others when its repeated. I have seen someone on here post the same stuff about the same time, but its because you don't see the other discussions about the same topic. It happens. Also I didn't read the one about your daugher but don't let any one give you problems. Let them speak their mind but ignore any negative responses. I have dealt with that before and therefore i have learned what to list or not list on forums. Things that cause negative responses i just keep to myself.
3 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Thanks jessi0887,also I approved your friend request.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (65122)
• Italy
15 Jan 09
I can understand how you feel but if you just take a break from starting your own discussions it might be a great help. You will have time to spend on other topics and you might see things you were missing while starting and responding on your own. I go to the 'no responses' area recently and there are often many interesting discussions waiting there and you help yourself and another user by responding. Don't let what happened recently spoil the fun you should be having here!
3 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Thanks
2 people like this
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Hello dfollin! Don't say that girl. I have seen all your discussion because I turned on my notifications to you and I don't see anything wrong. I am sorry, I just can't reply to it because I have nothing to say or that I don't really have any idea about it especially about motherhood. Don't get too affected with everything here especially the response of those rude people who did not do anything but to hurt mylotters like us. When joining here, you have to accept that you will meet different personality and all the response of different people. I have also encountered many rude people here, someone even told me that we (filipinas)are gold diggers, but I jut ignore it and continue mylotting. Come on! Cheer up! don't mind those people who tried and who will still try to pull you down.
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Hi aisaellis, I just looked at all my posts on here and I do not see where I am seeing where I said "that girl".Did I write this on this discussion or another? Please let me know.Thank you for turning on the notifications for me. I certainly don't expect everyone to have the same opinion.That's unrealBut,I do expect people to be polite to me as I am to them. I can't believe someone said that filipinos are gold diggers.That's harsh! Thank you
1 person likes this
@cwilson26 (2736)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think she meant for you not to say you weren't starting anymore discussions! I could be wrong, but that is the way I took it. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 09
Cwilson is right. What I mean is that don't say "that girl" (I am referring to you) that you won't start a new discussion again..hehehe..I am sorry if I confused you..
2 people like this
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
Well, I have also said that to myself several times. Communication isn't truly achieved all the time. It seems that every time I post a topic or so, someone either gets angry, insulted or tries to insult me. Unless of course the topic is for those who are goody-two-shoes, but if you talk about something, people tend to twist what you wrote and get a bad connotation of it, even if you didn't actually intend for it to be that way. Anyhow, that's the main reason why I go for answering topics rather than starting them. Plus, the stress in reading each and every response! Arrrgghhh... I just can't help but read to each and every response because I feel that I owe it to them to at least read if not reply to all. Whew! Anyhow, as for your case, stop thinking about them. It's your topic, and what do they know about the truth anyway, right? But if you feel you'd like to go for replying for now, then go do it. but if you feel like opening a topic or if you feel that there's something nice you'd like to talk about then don't stop yourself. A word of advise though, if you don't want people to tell you that the topic is already repeated, you should at least search if there are similar topics before you do open one. That's actually one of mylot rules. Good luck! Have fun mylotting!
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
19 Jan 09
Previously I have done a search on a topic and nothing came up.Then I got a reply that this was already taken.So,I did a search and 2 came up.One of them was being posted at the same time that I was.Then,I tried to figure out why the responder even replied anyway. About the negative responder,it was not like she had I different opinion.I wasn't really asking for an opinion,I was asking for someone's knowledge about something.And they did not completly read what I wrote and then started saying that I was abusing my daughter and specifically stated what should be done to me! If the subject of another person's discussion really interests me then I will look at other people's replies and respond to some of them too.
2 people like this
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
That's the problem of most of the people here in mylot. They don't read completely what you posted about and are ready to react as fast as they can. While others do read but they don't understand, all they see are words that they could correct you with (specially in sensitive topics ~ When you say Lesbian, or gay they'd tend to react about human rights and all that B.S.). Anyhow, in this world, there will always be a critic, in every moment that we post our discussions, there will always be someone to ruin your day with unexpected responses or insults. But, we shouldn't care about those, because we know ourselves better. And perhaps they just lacked attention, that's why they try to stir things up!
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I just thought of something funny.If they obviously did not read my discussion all the way I should just ask them if they have ADD?
2 people like this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I'm sorry to hear this. I have read a lot of your discussions and I don't see where people are getting the idea that your hurting your child. I also don't see where your the cause of problems. You are doing the best that you can with your daughter. Don't let these people put you down. Just ignore them and do what you want to do. I have had people on here flat out say that I'm a bad parent because I asked for advice with my stepson. From what I've read in their discussions, they aren't the perfect parents either. Just remember that they don't know you or what's going on in your life. It's none of their business either. They should keep their opinions about your parenting to themselves because they have no idea who you are or what your entire situation is. I like your discussions and would hate to see you stop posting them because of a few idiots. I hope you reconsider and keep posting but either way ignore the idiots and good luck to you.
2 people like this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
17 Jan 09
I read that discussion and saw that someone said you shouldn't smack her hands. It's none of their business, I'm sure that you aren't hitting her hard enough to hurt her. Some people just think that everything physical is wrong. I spank my kids and I'm not afraid to admit it. I don't abuse them or do it a lot. I only do it when they are in danger of hurting themselves or someone else. For example, if they are going to touch the stove when it's on after being warned or run into the road without looking.
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
17 Jan 09
I totally agree with you.I spanked my boys and spank my daughter but not a lot either.I do not abuse her or did I them. A person said that since I smacked her hand so hard that I made her bleed.Someone should smack me till I BLEED. I was simply telling people what the problem was,what I had tried to do to stop her bad habit and see if anyone else had any ideas.But,no she chose to take it to another level. Well,at least I have friends like you.
1 person likes this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
18 Jan 09
Just ignore them. Yes, I am here and I am your friend.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84153)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jan 09
As far as starting discussions that other people have already seen, so what? You can't see everything on here. I would just ignore comments like that. As for the other ones, that one saying you should be hurt is abusive and should be reported. The other one saying you're causing the problem, if it's wrong but it was politely said, I'd just ignore it. I'm not telling you what to do, but I wouldn't stop posting discussions just because of what people say. But I have a pretty thick skin, I guess.
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Thanks Dawn. Did you understand what I wrote?
2 people like this
@dawnald (84153)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jan 09
um I think so
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I wouldn't let anyone cause me any stress..We get on here and we ask questions & we really do not know your situation...We sometimes give advice without knowing the full story..There are always those that will put you down & make a mountain out of something..Just ignore them and take the positive remarks...
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
19 Jan 09
It seems to me and some others think that she did not read my discussion completly.I have started a few discussions last night.A lot of people said that I just ignore them and continue starting discussions then there are others that think I need to take a break for starting discussions.
1 person likes this
@bamrahkirti (1818)
• India
16 Jan 09
Sometimes it may happen that we start a discussion and it is already started by somebody else.If you are being told by people that you have posted a similar discussion like them you should not get hurt or worried and take it a challenge to come up with a new and creative discussion.As far as about people opinion about your discussion on your daughter,i think everybody has the right of opinion,sometimes the words sound too harsh and these hurt us but do not take it otherwise but accept the fact that every thing has two aspects ,one is positive and the other is negative.If you are getting good responses then it may also be possible that you might get some negative responses. So do not worry and keep posting. Happy mylotting.
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
As far as the discussion about my daughter, it was not a discussion about an opinion but I was asking for knowledge about a potential medical problem.Her response to me saying that I had admitted to hurting my daughter and how (specifically) how I should be punished. Yes,everyone is entitled to their opinion,I welcome that.But, it was not even an opinion question.She did not even give an opinion as an answer,she was just nasty. I think that I will not start any discussion,but just respond for awhile.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Awwww. I like your discussions and do not find a thing wrong with them. Do not listen to what other members of Mylot have to say. You have a right to say what you want to. Start discussions. You have the right to. Just because someone else starts one like yours, does not mean that yours is exactly the same. Start your discussions and let other memeber with a problem just deal with it!
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Thank you for liking my discussions.But,people thinking that they are repeated is just part of it .The main thing that upset me is that I asked for someone's knowledge,not an opinion and someone had to get nasty with me and accuse me of doing something horrible to my daughter and that I should be punished and she was specific on how I should be punished.
1 person likes this
@tlb0822 (1412)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I hate when that happens. People feel like their discussions are being "stolen" or when they feel that their opinion is the greatest one in the entire world. I have learned to just shrug it off, and let it go. There are times though when I need to take a break because someone has said something upseting, and it is usually about parenting or something or other. I think it is good to keep in mind that it is just that one persons opinion and their are others on here who understand what you are actually trying to say. I hope you continue to post, and things will just blow over. Good luck. Happy mylotting.
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Yes,it was about parenting.All I did was ask a medical question,basically to see if anyone knew what to do.Then someone comes in and accusses me of hurting my daughter and says specifically of something was to be done to me. They acted like I was admitting to doing something horrible to my child.Now why would I do that? And this person does not know me. Sounds like my mom.She says that everyone is entitled to their opinion.But,when mine disagrees with heres then she says,"Alright,I am stupid!" But,if it is someone else,even my sister that disagrees with her then it's ok. Listening to all my friends here,I might just take a break from starting discussions for awhile and just reply and continue to respond to the discussion's that people reply to that I already have open.I am going to take parenting off my intrests list and not even reply to any.I will never ask a question again for some information,just peoples opinion's.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
If you don't want to recieve any respond. How can you communicate well in your company?
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I did not say that I did not want to receive any response. I said that I don't want people being nasty with me,when I just simply ask a question.I welcome other people's opinions even if they don't agree with mine.Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.But,when I ask a simple question that does not really have to do with an opinion but asking for someone's knowlege and they have to ecuse me of something and then say that a horrible action should be taken to me then I draw the line.
1 person likes this
@paoxav (1382)
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
Ironic. You said you will not start a discussion but you just did.. If you forgot to know.. It's like asking "Can I ask you a question?" but you're already asking.. LOL
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
No,I was trying to let my friends know without having to email each one individually.
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
16 Jan 09
iam sorry this happen to you this should be a place you can come to get advice from your friends without them belittle you.don,t listen to people who are making you feel bad.we all have some sort of problem we deal with each and every day.so you are not a lone you keep beening heard you have every right to be here like everyone else.you have a blessed day happy mylotting
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I thought it was that kinda' place too.And that is the way I saw it since I had joined. Thanks
1 person likes this
@sara007 (134)
• China
16 Jan 09
do not care about others.do what u wanna do.
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Thanks.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36471)
• United States
16 Jan 09
don't let folks like that stop u from what u want to do. there's a jerk in every crowd.
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Thanks.There are some jerks in here.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (17834)
• Quezon City, Philippines
16 Jan 09
I am not good at starting posts too that is why most of my post in here are comments to topics that interest me. So I guess welcome to the club.
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Lol, it's not that I am not good at it. It's just that a few people that are replying aren't completely reading what I wrote before they give me a smart a** answer. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21147)
• United States
15 Jan 09
I responded to that discussion you are referring to. I realized that you did not mean you were hurting your daughter. Some people just don't take the time to really read the discussion. I would not let it bother you. I know that is easier said than done. As far as starting discussions that other people have already started, you can't catch everything that gets posted here. Not even if you do a search first. Plus, there are 158,623 here on myLot and myLot has been here for over 3 years. I don't think there is a topic out there that would not be a repeat of some sort. That being said, I went back and re read my response to your knuckle popping question and realized that I did not really answer your question. Going to do that now.
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Thanks,but if you read on you will see that I heard back from the doctors office and was told that a lot of kids have come in and the breaking of the skin is from dry skin.And that the popping of the knuckles can not necessarily cause arthritis.And there is not much that I can do to stop her.Just tell her about how they are going to swell and her hands will not be very pretty. That's what I said,but I keep getting replies saying there is this discussion already,but...... I was thinking well why come into my discussion then
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Try not to let others hurt your feelings or change who you are or what you do here. You have friends that regularly respond to you. The ones that are being negative are probably people who haven't gotten to know you. Do your best to ignore them. I know most of us are friendly and understanding and helpful with each other. Some people just aren't, some people just are not nice people too. I was once at a Taco Bell with my mom, daughter in law and 3 grandsons. My one grandson was being a butt head. He was being disrespectful to me and his great grandmother, he was simply being a butt head. I told him to quit being a butt head. Some lady over heard me, she butted in. She told me she thought what I had said was horrible, she was so offended that she even started crying. She acted like I had screamed and beat him. She stormed out of the place, I was flabbergasted, I could not believe that she acted that way. My grandson told me that I was allowedto call him a butt head, I was his grandma. Actually I didn't call him a butt head that way, I had told him to quit being a butt head. That lady did bother me, but I had to let it go.
2 people like this
@GemmaR (8524)
15 Jan 09
You shoudn't let people like that get to you. Think about the amount of discusses you've started. How many of them have been GOOD and how many have turned out BAD because of people spoiling them? I think you'll find that most of them are good, so you shouldn't let the minority spoil the experience for you! Maybe give it a break to let yourself calm down, but certainly never give up!
2 people like this
@dfollin (13728)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Yes,the majority of them are good.But when someone starts saying that I hurt my child,when all I was doing is simply asking if anyone knew what I should do about a medical problem.And she is saying that I should be hurt.And then when another person said that I was not paying enough attention to my daughter! That really makes me mad and upset Thanks
1 person likes this