Christianity and Divorce

@Pose123 (21667)
Canada
January 29, 2009 2:02pm CST
I am not posting this to upset anyone but to get views and opinions. It is a well known fact that some Christians do divorce and remarry, but that Jesus was opposed to it is clear as we read in Matthew 5:32. Whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication,causes her to commit adultery and whoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery. Personally, I believe that there are many times when divorce is necessary, but that's not what Jesus said. I know too that the Roman Catholic church, as well as some others, will not marry anyone who is divorced. Many Christian churches however do and I wonder how they justify it with the teachings of the Bible. What about those who take the Bible literally, how could they justify divorce or do they?
3 people like this
9 responses
@dawon007 (184)
• India
30 Jan 09
In today's world the people are more interested in going in their own way. They like their churches to amend the rules in their own manner so that it doesn't discomfort them. Some churches which were founded by humans who wanted to prove that their teaching is correct, welcomed all sort of people. Time changed and more people started divorcing and so the churches in order to keep their numbers intact, amended the laws, against the teachings of Jesus. This can be seen in several other cases like abortion, marriage etc., where the churches were forced to change there stance not because Jesus wanted it that way, but because their members wanted it. A sin will be considered as a sin and it is every persons responsibility to find the church which will help him reach heaven or at least avoid hell.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
30 Jan 09
Hi dawon, Thank you for responding and I get your point. Blessings.
• India
31 Jan 09
Jesus allows divorce on the condition that there is marital unfaithfulness by one spouse. That's the way I understand the text. What do you think are all the conditions when divorce becomes necessary? Even when one is not a Christian marriage should be taken very seriously. Family is the basic building block of civilization and if family is abused civilization can collapse. Divorce that ruins family oftentimes is to be a matter of serious concern for any individual, whether Christian or not.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
31 Jan 09
Hi headhunter, Thank you for responding and we agree that marriage should be taken seriously. Children suffer the most when their parents divorce but I also know that when there is violence they also suffer. People should be prepared for marriage before entering into a relationship, that way there wouldn't be so many breakups. Blessings.
• India
2 Feb 09
True, physical violence is a complex issue. How much of violence is too much is a difficult issue, and I think in such situation it is good to call in the Church elders to sort things out.
@France7 (385)
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
Hello everyone! this has been a hot issue for Christians whether it is acceptable to have a divorce or not. these days, divorce has been rampantly increasing and so with accepting it. On the other hand, as we go back to what the Bible say, it is clearly written that once man and woman are tied, they are to become one. The question here is, what if i can no longer bare being with my partner? What if i fell out of love to my partner because of many reasons such as blah blah blah blah? Thus, in my opinion, better not to marry if one is not really prepared for it.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
30 Jan 09
Hi France, Thank you for responding and I like that last statement that it's better not to marry if one is not prepared for it. It's my opinion that many who marry are not prepared and that is where the problems arise. I know that when there is violence a relationship should end but many times it happens because there hasn't been any thought put into it. Blessings.
@France7 (385)
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
Hi Pose! Another reason that i can see why marriage relationships end up into a state is that the foundation of the relationship is not set in God. I do believe that for a relationship to work well, it does need God's guidance and protection. After all, marriage is His gift to man. Therefore, man should treasure it by allowing Him-God, to intervene. I understand that in every relationship, there always arises problems. And in facing those problems, we need God's presence. God bless!:)
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
3 Feb 09
Well, I really believe that divorce is sometimes necessary since we all make mistakes ,and we all have the right to search for happiness. I have been happily married for almost 23 years ,but I understand those people who have tried to save their marriage ,but no matter how much they tried is really impossible to continue in the marriage. Domestic violence and adultery are very serious matters ,and I know our Lord Jesus would agree.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
3 Feb 09
Hi Mirita, Thank you for commenting and I agree that sometimes it is just impossible to continue. Blessings.
@Frederick42 (2019)
• Canada
2 Feb 09
That is the problem of christians, not my problem. If christians cannot follow literally the teachings of jesus, then it means those teachings are difficult to follow and it surprises me why jesus should place before people such a difficult set of ethics. Anyway, Jesus himself was not married and I have no idea what gave him the right to speak about marriage and divorce. Just as one who is not a doctor is not qualified to preach about medicine, similalry an unmarried fellow has no right to speak about marriage and divorce.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
2 Feb 09
Hi Frederick, Thank you for responding and for that comment. I think it was the circumstances of the times in which Jesus lived that made him make that comment. A woman was considered a man's property and her life would be very difficult after her husband divorced her. I think Jesus was simply reminding men of their responsibility. Blessings.
@murderistic (2279)
• United States
2 Feb 09
I was a virgin 'till marriage and I'm planning on staying married. If my husband cheats on me, I would probably do my best to forgive, but ultimately I think it would destroy our marriage and I don't think I could remain married to him. The only other justifiable reason for divorce is physical abuse, however, despite me being a Mennonite who values nonviolence I do think it is acceptable for a woman to defend herself against her husband - in which case abuse would never happen in my relationship with my husband because I wouldn't let it happen.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
2 Feb 09
Hi murderistic,Thank you for responding and you seem to have the right idea. In a lot of cases though the wife is completely unable to defend herself and her children from an abusive husband. I feel that too many people rush into marriage without being prepared. Blessings.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
In the Philippines, divorce is not legal we have no divorce law in the Philippines, so the case of separation is very low. I don't like any divorce and other form of separation, I uphold the sanctity of marriage, it is part of christian values to be married in the church rites. I believe in marriage and lasting relationships.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
31 Jan 09
Hi jlamela, Thank you for responding, I'm not sure if I would want a law forbidding divorce, but I think there are far too many. Blessings.
• India
30 Jan 09
LOL!! Funny, ain't it? I guess they have an argument to wriggle out of it. Christians can talk the hind leg off a donkey. This particular case of divorce is something like "turning the other cheek." No Christian follows it. Divorce is something like that. I hope you have also noticed that Jesus has spoken only for men. About women, he is silent. So I guess a woman is free to sue for divorce. ;) Cheers and happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
30 Jan 09
Hi positiveminded, Thank you for responding and I have often wondered how they get around that, but condemn homosexuality which Jesus didn't even mention although it was commonly talked about and accepted by many people at the time. You have to realize that a woman was considered a mans property at that period in history and a woman would be in a very difficult situation after being divorced. I'm sure that Jesus was reminding men of their responsibility. Blessings.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
30 Jan 09
I can imagine Hell as being Full to Overflowing, if Jesus was correct in His take on divorce. I wonder if he knew (at the time) that 51% of all marriages end in divorce? And the reason being- all things in this dimension are in a constant state of flux with Nothing being Permanent except Change ( which is ongoing) This being the case- A promise is literally not worth the Paper its written on, to say nothing of a Marriage License.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
30 Jan 09
Hi barehugs, Thank you for commenting and I know divorce in the eyes of the church was a big thing 50 to 75 years ago but now it has been swept under the rug in most cases. In the time of Christ women were a man's property and life would be very rough for a woman who was divorced. I think Jesus realized this and made a man's responsibility clear. It's my opinion that we have very little of the teachings of Christ and that some of what we do have has been altered. Blessings.