relationship age difference

@Mikyoo12 (187)
United States
March 2, 2009 9:04pm CST
Hello my peoples. i just wanted to know if anyone thinks that it is wrong for a 22 year old to date a 28 year old with a 7 year old son? And yes i am talking about myself. im 22 years old turning 23 on march 19th of this year, and my Girl friend is 28 years old. we have spoken about it and we both dont have any issues with our age. but im scared to let my mother know especially since she has a son at 7 years old. my mom is very religious and she probably wont like it. so i think ill wait a lil more until we make a year to let her know her real age. and in some way i do feel like im embarrasing my girl friend since im so young and hes 28. i dont want her family members and friends to think anything bad of her. i am the first guy she has dated which is younger than her.
3 people like this
20 responses
@KrauseHome (35026)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Well, personally I feel there is nothing wrong with a younger man dating a older woman, as I have dated men younger than me before I met my husband and do not regret the experiences at all. Personally I feel when 2 people are attracted to each other that is all that matters, and when the time is right there will be time to share her with others. Do not worry about your Mother, etc. unless your girlfriend would like to meet her. You will know what is Best, and Pray about it as well, and have God let you know as well. Wishing you the Best.
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Yeah, I won't regret dating my girlfriend. We have been together for a while and everything is fine. We are two mature adults that know what were doing. I will also ask God for his guidance. Thank You for your thoughtful words.
@chabawel (330)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
How do you feel about dating an older woman with a child? It's really how you feel about it actually and how you present yourself to her. Right now, the important thing is to develop her trust and love towards you. If you concentrate on what others may say about your actions and not concentrate in developing a healthy relationship with the woman you want to date, then, you can not handle the PRESSURE of being in such relationship. Age doesn't matter as long as your intention is honest and clean and no malice surrounding it. KAPISH?!!?!?
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I do love my girlfriend and I also want to continue to date her. I pretty much don't care what other people might say about us b ecause of our age difference and the fact that she has a child. I think all that should matter is that I love them both and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with them.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I, personally don't think it is a big deal, but I am a bit biased. My husband is almost 8 years younger than me. We have been together for almost three years now. Like evry relationship, we have our ups and downs, but over all, we get along and work together just fine. I thought my parents would have a problem with it, and at first, they thought that he was too young for me, but now, they know that we arehappy and he works hard to take care of me and our 4 kids. I brought three into our relationship, they are now 11, 8, and 6. He brought one, who is now 4. So, no, i don't think that there is a problem with a 7 year age difference as long as both people are mature and responsible.
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Thank You for your insight Maam. Im willing to take on the responsibilties of being there for my girlfriend and her son. We are a very mature couple. And we plan on taking things slowly and being careful not to jump into anything. Well good luck with your husband and children. I wish you the best.
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
3 Mar 09
I don't think there's any problem you date a women older than you. It works for some lovers. I am thinking you are too young, think it carefully, what she wants? what you need? If you are sure you two are in love and will stay forever, then go for it, truely answer the problems that bother you now and will you tolerate it when you found out those problems cannot be solved?
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
3 Mar 09
well I am very mature for my age and I have my goals set out for me. I know what track I am on and I am very willing to fight for what I want in life. I believe my girlfriend and I will have a very promising future. Thank you for your input though, I greatly appreciate it. Happy mylotting.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
3 Mar 09
[i]I don't see any problem with age, there are even couple whose age gap is higher than that but they are successful in their relationship. For me, it is better to be honest to your family about her and if you are both serious in your relationship, for sure your family will support you on it! Good [/i]luck!
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Thank You for your thoughts. My girlfriend and I don't have any problems with our age difference, I just had to make sure it wasn't to bad of a gap. but we love each other and were willing to make this work.
@ahsn12k4 (83)
• Canada
3 Mar 09
i dont think this is wrong. i mean age does not matters what matters is the space of your heart. I see. Which country are you from? originlly I'm from Bangladesh. i just got married to a girl whose 7 years younger than me in private. i went to my mom place and brought her with me. My mom she was furiously mad, she was behind me with a hockey to hit me but then later she realized that she wants my happiness. All parents especially indians in my view should learn that this is our future, we gotta have a chance to think of our life and our partner. What i can advise you to do is to go directly to your mom and tell her that you like her and that she has a son. If you wait one more year she will get more older then one day your own mom will be looking a wife for you. then this conflict will be uncompleated. Take the actions right away. If you think that she's the perfect girl than follow what i just advised but if she is not than man do not risk yourself into problems.
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
3 Mar 09
hey man. congrats on your newly wed. im from the United States, New York. well I will go and tell my mother because this woman is very dear to me along with her son. And I love them both. They are both worth it.
@spalladino (17926)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Don't rush...take it slow and both of you tell people what you're comfortable telling them. My ex was 6 years younger than me and we didn't have any issues regarding age either. Once you reach your twenties it's not as important. The real issue though is that you have to realize that your girlfriend's son will become attached to you the longer the relationship goes on and he will be hurt if it ends. Whenever you date someone with a child you must always be considerate of that child's feelings.
@Mikyoo12 (187)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Oh of course. I love her son. and he is already attached to me. Hes always asking me to call out from work to hang out with me. I love that Kid. hes so cute. And i wouldnt let anything try to get in between his mother and myself where we would have to end the relationship. and we all give each other the same amount of attention that we give the next person. Im not always all over my girlfriend, i also play around and talk to her son.
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Ni my opinion at your age and your girl friends age there is a big difference in the maturity level. Moat people frontal lobe doesn't become completely mature until they reach 25 years of age. That means that their ideas and desires can change a lot until then. If a man and woman with the age differences you describe are 25 and 31 then they are more likely to be on the same page.
• United States
4 Mar 09
Hi There Mikyoo My son dated and married a woman who is 17 years older then he is . They have been married 5 years and are very much in love. we don't live in the same states but we do talk on the phone every day. I would not lie to anyone about her age or her son. If you truly care for this girl then you will stand by her. if you want to see how you both grow together ( which is a fair thing to do ) and keep other family mambers arm didtance with your personal life .. that is understandable. People can be mean, unfair, even jealous but its up to you two and how strong you both are as a couple. but never lie .. your mother may or may not understand but give her the respect of being honest with her. she is your mother and she will love you no matter what .. you will know when the time is right to tell her. I wish you both well Just my two cents me
@xtedaxcvg (3191)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
Dude, I'm 27 and my wife is 34 years old. Age really doesn't matter if you love the person so much. Even if he or she already has a child, it won't matter. If you're concerned of what people will think about her then that's not true love. It's like you just want her around to make you feel good or just like a status symbol. If you really love a person, you won't care who she is, where she's from, or what she did.. as long as you love her. :D
@Krisneil (577)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
It is not wrong, In fact there is nothing wrong about it, unless if the girl have a husband. Well, dont afraid, dont hesitate, do what you want. If you love each other, no matter what happen or other would say if you love each other.Dont worry about your mom, she will understand you, because she is your mom.
@wildcat48 (782)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Dear,Mikyoo12 do you love her? And does she love you?Honey age does'nt matter,If you really love each other and both of you are over 20 yrs.old good luck god bless
@mansha (6301)
• India
3 Mar 09
Best is to take slow yourself, for me personally age wont matter my hubby is ten years senior to me. my mom had a fit too but then its okay as someone recently told me that when you cross eighties does the age matter as much. Only at young age we need almost equal age partners as people are scared that they will have understanding and other issues but if you have an understanding and compatibility why not. Take it slow you also are too young to make haty decisions and I feel she is too give yourselves time to grwo and if you stil feel she is tight person then why not go ahead and marry her. I will give any relationship atleast five years to bloom and blossom.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
3 Mar 09
How do you feel about it. It is not like you are 12 and she is 17. As you get older the number of years of age separation tends to be less important. I wonder where the "rule" that the man must be older comes from anyways. The only thing I see wrong is that she has a kid that is not yours. I would dump her for this alone, but not for the fact that she is a few years older. Women live about 7 years longer than men anyways, so if you hitch up, you will both expire in the same year probably.
• India
3 Mar 09
Well today you people might not be having any differences between you, and so u have planned for a long term relationship, but tommorrow because of this society or because of your/her family member the differences should not get created between you and your girlfriend, be sure that you can carry this relationship in future by tackling all the hurdles given by the society, only after making sure of it commit yourself for a long term relationship. I am saying this because, i have seen people falling in love with person especially a girl who is 7-8 years elder and they say they are really in love and wish to live together, but after few months of their marriage they wil breakup, when asked the reasont they will tell our wavelengths and attitude dint match, or we are getting disturbed by this society, so i don want to happen the same thing with you. So be careful before taking any decision about your relationship with your girlfriend and make sure that your girlfriend's child do get affected in your relationship with your girlfriend. happy lovelife...happy mylotting:)
• Canada
3 Mar 09
well im 26 and dating a 44 year old... my mom is a year older... god i am not looking forward to them meeeting =/ its going to be a nightmare! btw age is usualy just a number as long as all parties are concenting legal adults
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
I've been in almost the same situation. I was 30. My girlfriend was 32. She has 3 kids. My family is Catholic. My mom is a member of religious group too. To cut the story short, all hell broke loose when my family learned about it. I only have two questions for you:1. How much do you love your girlfriend? 2. Is she worth everything you are going to sacrifice and go through?When I answered those two questions honestly, everything I needed to do was clear. After 4 years, me and my girl are still happily living together with her 3 kids. We were able to ride out and weather the storm. Good Luck and pray for guidance!
• India
3 Mar 09
HI Mkiyooif you really love her then age doesnt matter,and you have only age gap of5 yrs,and i dont think your mom will object this relation because of ur age gap ,but yes her son could be the reason .the main thing is that even you two may be uncomfortable after some years of your marriage.so its better to clear the matter now and for ever.And what have you decided about having your own kid ,this is again a serious issue in front of you both
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Hi Mikyoo12, I know it's not that easy for other people to understand your relationship. My fiancee is older them me, but I don't care and we got use to people staring at us, but we don't mind, what is important is were happy and we get along fine, and love her more each day. It's up to you how would you face it together, and nurture it. I never expect my Mom would give us the blessings, but she did like her and accepted her as like a daughter to her. Her family I met them already too, it was scary but I enjoyed every minute and knowing them. Now we can be so open about our relationship. What counts so much now is both our future, and accepting each other for what we are. The journey in life were going to together as one. The age is just numbers, we learn together and our brain is like one. No one can question you, as long as you have good intention. Have a nice day!
@srganesh (6350)
• India
3 Mar 09
I think this age difference will not be of any hindrance if you are in true love.Only you have to consider the society and the son of her.If this relationship breaks for any reason,then that little boy will suffer much.So,don't rush up,convince your mother and get married and live a good life.There is no need to fight against anybody.After all it is your life.Cheers!