No gifts for anniversary or birthday this year!

United States
May 7, 2009 1:19pm CST
Today is my wedding anniversary. I've been married 6 years now. Tuesday will be my birthday, and of course Mother's Day is Sunday. My husband will not be giving me a gift this year. We're too broke! We have too many bills this month, and our power bill is a little bit high. I've known for awhile that I will not get any gifts. I don't mind, I'm used to it. My oldest son will turn 12 on Wednesday, the day after my birthday. He will get a couple small gifts and a cake. That's more important than me getting something. Do you mind if you don't get gifts on an important holiday?
6 people like this
30 responses
• United States
7 May 09
I love presents & who don't? I feel like a kid when I get one, but when we have bills to pay first then I don't expect a gift unless we have a lot of extra money then yes I want a gift. But we do not let gifts put us behind on our bills. I know a lot of people put their bills last & their spending first & don't see how they do it for I can not. I do always make sure kids gets presents for they do not understand about bills. Even if it is just one gift I still will get my child a present.
3 people like this
@ZephyrSun (7385)
• United States
7 May 09
I hate getting gifts and my husband knows this and still spends a ton. He screwed up this year and told me about my Mother's Day gift, I told him not to leave something in the bed of his truck Monday and he said oh I've left your ring in the truck all day and nothing happened. I said what ring and he said well when I get home I will just give you your Mother's Day present LOL Sometimes I would really like to smack him
2 people like this
• United States
7 May 09
Don't feel bad, my husband does the same thing! I hope you like your ring!
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
7 May 09
I don't mind not getting gifts. We've done that quite a few times. The kids getting gifts are more important to us too. My poor husband gets hit twice in may since mothers day and my birthday are only a few days apart like yours. So we usually just combine the two and I get one set of gifts for both days. Well, that is if we are doing gifts.
2 people like this
• United States
7 May 09
It's usually the same for me. We normally try to go out for our anniversary, but this year we can't due to our trip this weekend. But normally I get one gift for Mother's Day and my birthday. One year he did surprise me with a digital camera for my birthday, and since it was so expensive I didn't expect anything else, but he got me a really cute outfit for Mother's Day too. That was the best so far!
2 people like this
@cher913 (25891)
• Canada
7 May 09
you can do things that dont cost any money - its not a question of 'things' but what you do. we have done that for many a year - very few or no gifts for each other (we have been married for 21 years!) but you can go for a walk, pick some wild flowers, that sort of thing. at christmas, hubby and i go shopping at the dollar store for each other, plus we have a cost limit!
2 people like this
• Canada
8 May 09
That is a great idea! You have to get creative that way. I'm going to tell my husband about that.
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
7 May 09
We have had a few b-days, valentine's and mother's days like that too. Kids come first and it is a mature attitude that you have. Good goin'!
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
7 May 09
Oh, and bills need to be met before fun......
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
7 May 09
I don't mind if I do not get a gift because I have been used to it for awhile. Money can be too tight or other circumstances cause for someone not receiving a gift. I think that it is great that you are so charitable as to let your son enjoy his day and give up three important holiday's to you and your husband.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
7 May 09
Many congratulations on your Wedding Anniversary and Happy Birthday on Tuesday. I'm sorry that youw ill not be getting any gifts this year and wish that you were. I do rember one year after we had had a hurricane and were so broke that I did not get a gift from my husband. I was a little disappointed as I love all kinds of anniversaries but it was o.k. I knew that he could not do any better at that time. If he had it then I would have receiv ed it. And as mothers we know that it is important for our children's birthdays to be recognised as something special. I'm sending you a gift of happiness and love. Hope you receive it in time!
2 people like this
• United States
7 May 09
My hubby and I have had those times too. Luckily, we keep lots of art supplies in the house. I have a beautiful handmade card that he gave me for one birthday--he put a lot of time and effort in to it and I gotta say I kept that one instead of some of the store-bought ones he has given me. When you are broke all that means is you have to be creative. Try packing a picnic lunch for your Anniversay and telling each other that even though you are going through a tough time, there is no one that you would rather have going through it with you. And you are right....ALWAYS make sure the kids don't have to go without....they can learn that lesson when they get their first job.
2 people like this
• United States
7 May 09
Just because you dont get a material thing doesnt mean you cant get a gift! Some of the best gifts are gifts of time. I think one of the gifts my mom most appreciated was when we helped her with all of her yardwork one year for Mother's Day. She got to relax and enjoy the day with my nephew (her grandson) while the rest of us did the work for her. She was very thankful - and it didnt cost us anything! I think it is important that you are being so level headed. Gifts are nice to recieve. But getting gifts doesnt make sense when it will just cause more stress because of spending that money on something that isnt necessary! Happy anniversay/birthday/mothers day!
2 people like this
@Barb42 (4217)
• United States
8 May 09
As I've grown older, things like that don't bother me. My husband said tonight that he hadn't had time to go out and buy me something and he wouldn't know what to look for. I told him I didn't want anything. If he wanted to get me a flower, that would be fine, but it's not necessary. We don't buy each other much at Christmas and we don't buy for birthdays. We usually go out to eat and let that be it. And, we usually combine our birthdays since his is Nov 22 and mine is Dec 14th. We aren't fussy about gifts. I DO wish he'd buy me a card sometimes, though. But he's not into cards and could care less if he ever got one. He says it's a waste of money.
• United States
8 May 09
I don't like cards either, and have made it a point to tell everyone I know how much I don't like cards so they don't bother to get me any. Of course now that I don't get any cards, I constantly wonder why nobody can be bothered to send me a card! My husband did surprise me with roses yesterday though, which is sweet since I told him a hundred times I don't like flowers either, but it's still nice to get them.
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4217)
• United States
9 May 09
Kats, I think your husband has already figured you out. I love flowers. My husband did surprise me one year with 2 dozen red roses. Was I shocked! He usually doesn't do that. We just don't do too much for Mother or Father's Day. But I have given him many cards on Father's Day when I never received one on Mother's Day.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
7 May 09
Not really. I prefer to not get gifts. I really don't need anything, and I don't use some of the stuff I do have. To be truthful, birthdays have never made sense to me anyway. Wow, I survived an entire year. There's only billions of people the world over that have succeeded in that! What an accomplishment. Yay me, give me a gift? However, I have a completely different view about anniversaries. Something special happened there. Two individuals with all their faults and problems, pledged to overlook all that, and through love, spend their entire lives together. If that isn't special, I don't know what is. Especially in the day and age in which we live, when most people fail in that goal, every single year you make it together, you should celebrate. A gift? No... not a gift. Go out someplace. Go to a movie together. Go to a restaurant. Get rid of the kids. Find a friend or neighbor to take them. Do SOMETHING to remember that special commitment that is so easily lost. If nothing else, do it to inspire others that a long last marriage can be done. There is a lot of people who need that hope.
• United States
7 May 09
Most years we would go see a movie, but we can't afford to this year unfortunatly. Instead I made my husband a cake, and we'll spend the evening hanging out together, watching TV or a movie or something.
1 person likes this
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
8 May 09
yes i dont mind, we really cant afford gifts right now, and i do understand my husband, times are hard these days, and whatever money we have they are just all enough to pay the bills. we just had our anniversary last month, and i got no gift (although some picked flowers would've done it and made my day, but i didn't mind), this month two of my kids are going to have their birthdays, and i have no gifts for them, they dont mind either... maybe it's just the way i brought them up....lol... i always tell them, that if i have the money i will buy them what they like, but for now we dont have money because, yes, we are broke too, we cant buy them anything special. i'll just probably kiss them and hug them, my birthday gift.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
8 May 09
Well we are always too broke to get each other much, I think out of ten years of being with my other half I have had a handful of gifts I never seem to get any!! I dont mind though I usually just treat myself to something!!
1 person likes this
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
8 May 09
I know the feeling, I have been married for 6 years too. And its been like that ever since, I don't expect any gifts because we are really deep in debt. Sometimes my husband would be able to find ways to get me a little something, sometimes flowers, sometimes a stuffed toy. It really feels great to be able to receive gifts but if ever I don't I would sadly understand why. My kids, just like yours, still gets their gifts and cakes. We believe that the kids should not suffer because of our financial mistakes, so if there is anyone who has to sacrifice, it would be my husband and I.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
8 May 09
I've been doing that lately with most people, so this year I hardly got birthday gifts from anyone. I didn't really mind too much, but it was a bit sad because even small gifts would have been nice. Usually what I do is ask for practical gifts if I'm broke, and those still make me happy. But right now I'm just happy I was able to afford something for Mother's Day so that my mom won't be upset with me!
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (5058)
• Malaysia
8 May 09
I love to receive gifts, like any normal person would. But in this hard time, I don't mind if I don't receive any. As long as the important person remember the date and give me a wish sincerely, that's more than enough. I am not so cruel to force something out of his reach.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 May 09
I dont mind if I dont get a gift.. wats more important is if we have our loved ones with us to celebrate the event...
1 person likes this
• United States
9 May 09
I don't mind. I"m also used to it. Money is tight so one has to take all things into consideration. I too agree I'd rather my child enjoy their day than I get something for my day. Afterall you know they may remember that birthday forever that they didn't celeberate in one way or another. If anything take in to consideration I'm not getting anything either. I know what I want but I have expensive taste so because I can't afford it I don't wish for anything else unless the kids make me something. I know it may sound weird but I"m so used to going without since I've been home & not having the money to even save up for what I want. *sigh* Even my pt job doesn't help too much right now it's all that's keeping us afloat at the minute during the slow season @ hubby's work. I also have my 9yr anniversary this month too and I don't expect anything maybe next year for #10 ;0)
• United States
9 May 09
Sadly I have expensive taste too. One year the only thing I wanted was a digital camera, but I knew that just wasn't going to happen. There was no way we could afford it. I kept dropping the hints anyways though. So the night of my birthday my husband comes home with this huge box! I couldn't begin to imagine what was in it, but I was terrified of opening it. My husband is typically a terrible gift giver, so I just knew I'd hate this gift and would have prefered him to return it before I even saw it. He urged me to open it, so I did, and it was a stinkin printer!! I'm looking at the box thinking "I have a printer, wtf do I want this for?" But after inspecting the box for awhile, I discovered it was a photo quality printer... that just happened to come free with the digital camera included in the box! Needless to say I was quite happy at this point, and impressed that hubby could be so wonderfully sneaky! We both still laugh about it to this day about how I refused to open the box and how I was so disappointed in the printer until I saw the camera. That was 2 years ago and I still use the camera almost daily!
• United States
9 May 09
Yeah men can be sneaky sometimes for the better. However the last big present he gave me I wish he could return... our dog Just because "I thought I wanted one" he based the decision if I thought the breed was "cute" WTF?!?!? He forgot I thought at the time I still had allergies to fur bearing animals + this do sheds like crazy & I wanted a LasaApso or a ____-poo ya know something under 20lbs, not something 75lbs! The only thing I've told him I wanted was to get my hair done this year @ a "good" salon not a walk-in dealie but somewhere that was trendy. A lady gave me a referral to the place she goes it would be $90 just between the cut & color!!! We need groceries a lil more than I need my hair to look in style! And you know he used to buy me lil things from the gas station or from the pharmacy and they were the goofiest things but I appriciated those. Like one year he found a light up rose,,,, cheesey but he knows I hate cut flowers.
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
26 May 09
Sorry I missed this one. Happy belated B-day. Gifts are not all that important any more. At least not for me. It is important to me that the kids get something. I do appreciate someone remembering though.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 May 09
i dont think that's something you should be worrying times, we should know how to tighten our belts and i would not mind if it was me, in actuality. just think of the things you would be able save if you dont give gifts all the time there is an occasion. just know that you both love each other and will get through this trial that you have.