Tee shirt disrespectful to wife?
By spalladino
@spalladino (17891)
United States
May 15, 2009 10:52am CST
In the motorcycle shop that my husband and I own we have a tee shirt department where customers can choose from a variety of iron on transfers to be put on a tee shirt with our hot press. A friend of my husband's had one made the other day and his wife is not happy about it. I think he did it intentionally because they were having a tiff at the time according to him. This particular transfer has the image of a motorcycle on it and there are two young women on the bike...one sitting on the seat and the other one straddling the front fender partially facing away from the viewer so her butt is in full view. Both women are wearing very little...little tops and very, *very* short high cut shorts so there are large breasts, butts and lots of legs displayed.
Yesterday this guy was telling my husband that his wife told him that wearing that tee shirt is disrespectful to her because she's well over 50 and definitely doesn't look like those women. She feels that he's advertising the kind of woman he'd like to be with and how she doesn't measure up, that it makes her feel bad about her own body and that it's a slap in her face. She's refusing to go anywhere with him if he has that shirt on.
So, what's your opinion about this? Is she over-reacting or is he being inconsiderate of her feelings?
6 people like this
16 responses
@Amorti (200)
• Turkey
15 May 09
It's way too childish attitude, she's definitely overreacting..
He is not the one to blame because his spouse lacks sense of humour.. It's just a t-shirt, it's better wearing such a tshirt, rather than chasing such ladies like on that tshirt.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 May 09
I still believe that he is being insensitive too in regards to how his wife feels. I mean do you think he would want her wearing a tank top with a bunch of chippendale model iron ons all over it? LOL! He might not care at all, then again, what if he did?
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
17 May 09
LOL!!!! This has all been very entertaining, partially because my hubby wouldn't wear a shirt like the one the guy got anyway, but if he did, I'd still be secure in the fact that I look better than the iron ons 
so I would still be seen with him wearing it.
Not all women are secure though, and many couples do prey on each others' insecurities, which is sad.
so I would still be seen with him wearing it.
Not all women are secure though, and many couples do prey on each others' insecurities, which is sad.1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
mommyboo, he has a big ole gut so I doubt that he would. In fact, if she were to ever come into the shop asking about a transfer like that I have just the thing for her in my email that I can print out on blank transfer paper. It was sent as a joke, entitled "I'm going to jail" and features various shots of topless, very buffed law enforcement officers. The last one is of the entire force and....OMG!
2 people like this
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
15 May 09
I think that it is disrespectful and tacky to wear shirts like that no matter you wife's opninion. I do not pick out my husbands clothes but I would also feel hurt if he choose to wear a shirt like that because although I am half of 50 I cannot compete with the looks of the girls on those shirts.
I understand that some women do not care but I would also refuse to go anywhere with my husband if he choose to wear a shirt like that. When I met my husband he did not own that type of clothing and I am proud to say that he still does not.
There are alot of things that women have fought for and being portrayed like that on a t-shirt is not one of them.
2 people like this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
Yes, a lot of what sells in our shop is pretty tacky. The teenage boys who live on the ranches...or are just into horses...just love those cowgirls! But, they're young and are expected to be tacky.
1 person likes this
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
16 May 09
If my teen came home with a shirt like that he would be sent back to the store. But at the same time that stuff sells great, so I understand why it is carried.
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
15 May 09
It is just a T-shirt. She is over-reacting. She shouldn't take her insecurities with herself out on other people...
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 May 09
BUT! The husband should be aware (by this point in time) that his wife (whom he supposedly loves) does have some insecurities and he should not purposely prey on them by doing things that are inconsiderate which he knows would hurt her feelings or make her feel inadequate. It's a balance, and within a marriage, couples know how far to go. Usually. Yes I do think she's overreacting a bit too but since he is being callous of her feelings, some of it is justified....
3 people like this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
I have to agree with you mommyboo. Goldeneagle, I don't see it as her taking her insecurities out on her husband, I see him using her insecurities against her.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
16 May 09
I think it's a little bit of both. He is being a little inconsiderate AND she is reacting a little strongly. I have to dig a little deeper though because it appears that something is not quite right if they were having a tiff that turned into a tee shirt of this nature. I do know that men are very visual, but if the wife is well over 50, wouldn't that mean they've probably been married awhile? Even the guy with the thickest head should realize that something like that would probably make the wife feel a little inadequate, even if she was attractive. At the same time, the wife needs to stop reading so much into it because face it, men ARE visual. They are that way at 12, they are that way at 62! It doesn't change or lessen with age. Also, if she is that insecure and feels that bad about her own body, it's never too late to do something about it. I think the husband should reassure his wife and she should take the reassurance at face value and they should go do something together and let the shirt just be a shirt, not something big deal that divides them. I can honestly see both sides here and I don't think this is a battle that needs to be fought at all, not if they love each other.
1 person likes this
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
15 May 09
I respect all the ladies,, My wife will not like it either,,I have other kinds of shirts to enjoy which are lesser evil,, ( and she bought all my shirts),,I am still planning to buy that bigger bike,,wwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,more comfort for her tooo,,
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
That bigger bike would definitely be more comfortable for your wife, kawalnarang. It's good that you respect all the ladies...some guys don't.
1 person likes this
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
15 May 09
Now I read the comments 1 to 6,, I feel so nice,, All of these comments make so much of sense,, Surprised this topic is so important and I am glad this lady put it up,,congrats,,
1 person likes this
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
16 May 09
That's the truth,, and I am actually doing myself a favour,,keep trouble far from me,see I do get in trouble easily,, in this way at least it will not be from the ladies' side,,hahaha
1 person likes this
@derlilaStern (1756)
• United States
15 May 09
I definitely think she is overreacting! Just because he thinks women like that are beautiful doesnt mean he thinks his wife isnt! My husband finds lots of women attractive. I am still young, but I dont have the perfect body or the perfect looks. It doesnt matter what he looks at because he still loves me and still finds me beautiful and attractive!
Even though I think the wife is overreacting, I think it would be a good compromise for him not to wear that shirt when they are going out together. He can wear it with his buddies or at home. But if the 2 of them want to go somewhere, he can wear something else.
2 people like this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
Thanks for responding, derlilastern. I don't think he stands a chance of wearing it when they go out together since she's already made her feelings about it known. I don't know her very well but she seems like the kind of person who would stand by what she said.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
19 May 09
Actually, alot of men wear shirts like that...my brother has one of a scantily clad woman straddling a barrel with the caption "Gotta a little Captain in you"...it's to do with Captain Morgan and I believe Rum. It's just something some guys do. I don't think it's really disrespectful...I've seen worse. I think maybe she has some issues about being older and not looking like those women...
The worse shirt I ever saw was in the Engagement section of the newspaper...a nice looking couple till you read his shirt...it said "I'M WITH STUPID". Now that would tick me off.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
16 May 09
OMG she is over-reacting! Has she not seen most of the tshirts that are out there for the male that rides? I always like the pair of shirts, his said "if you can read this the b*itch fell off' hers says 'this b*itch don't fall off' I don't think he was being disrespectful to her at all. She really does need to get a sense of humor!
@ladystrange (93)
• United States
16 May 09
I think that T-shirts like this are disrespectful to women in general. I do not know why, they just make think "ewwwwwwwww", and the "avoid that guy at all costs" reflex kicks in. My husband is a Harley guy,too. There are several of these in his drawer. I have told him how tacky I think they are, and he does not where them around me he wears them to work where it is predominately male. My husband collects Harley shirts everywhere we go on vacation, and I notice that he does choose the tackier type as a last resort. Anyways, I think that guys, just do not know unless you tell them.
I agree with the woman. We try very hard to be proud of our men it is kind of hard, when you have disrespect right in your face. Dude put the shirt away, lol.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
16 May 09
I don't know if she is over reacting, or really if he's being inconsiderate. If you say they had a tiff at the time he got, it he may have got it to make her mad. Either way I think he needs to tell her why he got the shirt, and what he thinks about the shirt himself. She needs to tell him exactly why she feels insecure, and why she feels she can't measure up. Honesty is the best policy.
1 person likes this
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
15 May 09
No doubt the t-shirt is tacky and without taste, but I doubt he even thought about his wife when he got it. Men like trashy stuff like that, but she has the right not to be seen with him. Mybe he did do it to make her angry, but I do not think he was doing it to call attention to the fact that she does not look like those women.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
Hi Barb! I'd agree with you on the first part if he hadn't brought up the "tiff" as he put it that he and his wife had had while he was hanging out with my husband looking at the transfers and then decided to have a shirt made. He rides a Harley and, like a few other guys my husband knows, stops in once or twice a week just to shoot the breeze. I think he wanted to tick her off...and he did. 
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
16 May 09
That is very interesting. That guy 'is' disrespecting her wife. If his wife is 50 then he must be over 50, right. So, why is he having a tatto of a B|tch in his T-Shirt. This is shear disrespect to her.
These kind of T=Shirts are meant for teen age person. Don't they have kids in their life?
1 person likes this
@MissAmie (717)
• United States
16 May 09
I'd say that yes, he is acting like an a** but at the same time she is overreacting a bit.
I'm trying to put myself in both their shoes. First of all, if I try to think like a man I could say that it's just a shirt. Guys are supposed to like hot, half naked women. (Men don't have fashion sense like women do, so he probably doesn't realize that a older guy in a shirt like that just screams "white trash").
If I was his wife, yes, I would be miffed that he got the shirt, and I would also refuse to be seen with him while wearing it. ICK!
Lucky for most wives, we have magic that we can use to fix little situations like this.
I'm doubting this guy knows how to work a washing machine, so there's always the "oops, I added bleach" method of turning the shirt into a dish rag. Also, fitting with the laundry theme, just put it away in a weird place...like the storage closet. He'll never find it. Men's eyes only half work. ha ha.
If neither of these work for her there are other options. I'm sure with a little thought, your friend could come up with a creative demise for the offensive shirt. And in the meantime, just don't be seen in public near it. lol.
1 person likes this
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
16 May 09
I dont see anything wrong wearing that shirt..I think she's just over reacting and the fact that it was just a tee shirt!
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 May 09
I guess we'll eventually see how this plays out since this guys stops in regularly.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
16 May 09
Okay she may be over-reacting and sensitive but why does a mature man who I would imagine is also in his fifties have the need to wear such a tee shirt? You mentioned that part of the reason he had the tee shirt made was because they had a tiff and that's not nice of him at all and he's behaving like a a**e.
The least he can do is not wear it when he is with his wife!
@bamrahkirti (1821)
• India
16 May 09
They are already facing tiffs and the husband is adding insult to injury.I do not think she is over reacting,but she is thinking on these lines because of the circumstances .These are not in her favor and she has some insecurities in her mind.She is over 50 it means her husband must be over 50 too,then is wearing these kind of explicit tee shirts suit him?
