When life gets tough, what gets you up and running?

@cbeee3 (2064)
India
August 4, 2009 12:15pm CST
All of us face/have faced tough times in our lives. It could be professional,personal hardships or anything at all.It is always nice to have the love and support of family and friends. But this is not always what we get. How do you cope with such hard times in your life? Do you need family with you to help you cope or perhaps friends to talk to? Are you someone who deals with it by him/herself without involving others? Is your will power strong enough? Thanks in advance. Love, peace and respect. CB
10 people like this
29 responses
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
All individuals respond to life's difficulties differently. We all are gifted with different temperaments and personalities to cope with such situations. There could be many ways to get one up and running despite tribulations and trials. I believe that things work differently with everyone, but at the same time similar. A person may overcome a difficulty with no help from others, with the help of family or friends, with the help of a psychiatrist, and so forth and so on. The list may just go on and on. I suppose the thing to do when going through a difficulty is the ability to accept and embrace what is given and what is ahead of you. Because in denial or when running away, nothing is solved, things just pile up, and before you know it, you are in much deeper pit and it is even much harder to be freed from it. Once present situation is fully embraced and accepted, then find solutions, seek counsel of loved ones or friends, have faith and have hope. We need to constantly remind ourselves that two heads are better than one and also be reminded that hope and faith give us light in that dark tunnel, for to hope and to have faith is equivalent to staying positive, that things will get better, that there is always rainbow after the rain. I understand that staying positive and optimistic is definitely hard when going through tough times. But would negativity and staying pessimistic help? When you just can't take it anymore, just please remember that you are not alone. There will always be someone to help, someone to care, and someone willing to lean a hand. Praying and keeping myself surrounded by family and genuine friends helped me go through life's difficulties. It sure wasn't easy, but i just know and have faith that things happen for a reason, that nothing is an accident. Every trial, every pain, every experience mold us, teach us, and transform us to become better and to strive to be better.
• India
5 Aug 09
heyy iheartjc...ur first post itself rockckz...welcome to my lot..keep coming with such great responses... happy my lotting...
2 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
Wow! I am amazed that this is your first response here.Most people write a few short lines. This is a wonderful response and I can see how much thought you have given this. Its a pleasure reading what you have written. As I have mentioned earlier on in this discussion, I love to understand how people's mind works and you have covered some wonderful aspects. Great job. Thanks for this response :)
2 people like this
• United States
4 Aug 09
Well life is tough for me right now. I have a daughter who will be 3 in two weeks, and she is what keeps me going. I do not rely on anyone other than myself, and I rarely let anyone know about how tough times are for me right now. The easiest thing for me to do when life gets tough is to take it one day at a time. I focus on the tasks at hand, and what absolutely needs done that day. If there is something that I want to do, but can wait until the next day I write it down for myself so I can get to it when I can. I have found a great of time when you talk to a friend, they do not truly understand how you feel about the situation. Plus, I do not like burdening others with my problems. When I absolutely need advice I go to my mother first, if she does not know or if I feel iffy on her advice I will consult my best friend as well. But again, I only do this when I absolutely need advice.
3 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
I hope things improve for you thunderstar. I really do. I know what you mean. Its best to try and sort things out on your own. It makes a person stronger.Besides, as you rightly said, even when you try and ask someone to help/advice, they may not understand the full complexity of the issue at hand. Not to mention the fact that everyone has their own issues to deal with. None the less, it is good to open up to your mom or best friend, as these people really do care about you and sometimes they can help come up with some rather good solutions. God bless you and your little angel.Thanks for your response :)
2 people like this
• India
5 Aug 09
yeah...we cant manage to burden others on our stuffs...n they cant see the complexity to fullest..as a murphy law states.."if a project is in delay n u add man power to it..it will add to delay"..lol.. asking some one for a help rises other problems at times..so its better to solve things on our own.. @thunderstar wish u a great time soon friend..things will set right..don worry..
4 Aug 09
although l have a very strong will power. l did find my children where a big comfort to me going though all the stuff that l had to do
3 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
So true.At times we find comfort in the strangest of places.Children can be very comforting.With their innocence they can help us deal with our issues. If they are at an age where they can understand our issues, they help and can be our best friends too. Thanks for your response :)
2 people like this
@kykidd (6824)
• United States
4 Aug 09
It depends on what gets me down. Some things are harder to overcome than others. I, myself, keep a list of positive quotes nearby. They usually comfort me more than anything. I will share a couple of them with you here: "The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do." - Orison Swett Marden "Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance." -Unknown "Remember your past mistakes just long enough to profit by them." - Dan McKinnon If you are feeling down, or weary, I hope these will help pick you up, and get you going again!
3 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
4 Aug 09
Hey there kykidd, I am not down..at all! ..But when that day comes, I will keep these quotes with me.I loves all the quotes. Thank you so much for your response. I just love to understand how people deal with various situations in life. I hope you have a wonderful life
2 people like this
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
5 Aug 09
I always talk to famiy and friends when I'm going through a difficult time. I was taught not to talk to other people about my problems because other people don't want to hear about it. However, I think it depends on who you are talking to. I've always considered myself pretty independent but we do need help sometimes. It helps to have somebody to talk to. In the end, I pretty much persevere so my willpower is pretty strong. Kathy.
2 people like this
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
5 Aug 09
I used to take a catalog called "Leanin' Tree". They sell all kinds of western art, cards, home decor, etc. In one catalog years ago, they had a picture of a couple of draft horses pulling a heavy load. At the bottome of the picture, the caption said "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". I thought that was pretty cute. Kathy.
2 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
That is a nice attitude Kathy.Its good to have an attitude like that.It helps to have people to talk to.But at the end of it all, its good if we can take care of the issue ourselves, as far as possible. I guess everyone has enough things to deal with in this life time we have. :) I love that saying too. In fact I was thinking of making it the headline of this discussion. Good luck Kathy!
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Yes, I agree that it's better to take care of issues yourself, sometimes. I don't always talk to my sister next door to me about my problems because she has a lot of health problems, herself, and she just makes it worse. She's always so negative about everything so I just end up dealing with it myself. Kathy.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17634)
• Singapore
5 Aug 09
Not strong enough. I don't really have a big strong-will, but bad experiences keep me going. I need words of wisdom the whole time and I believe that's why I love to read self-help books. Time would be the most important factor for me to 'recover'. I can deal with it alone, and it might take months. However, the initial stage, I would need words of encouragement from love ones.. I sound so serious today. LOL..
2 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
Zed, This pet spider of yours can make amazing things happen.See I made you sound serious.Magic!! OK now about the topic at hand.( Or in my case legs, coz I am a spider yea? lol) Time for me is the greatest medicine too.When something goes wrong and I have no control over it, or I know I have tried my best and for some reason things have not worked out, I let time do what it does. Heal the wounds. Ahaaa..so you are into self-help books. That is an interesting piece of trivia I have learned about you today. *emote with the specs and not the glares* lol. Its good that they help you Zed.:) I turn into a voracious reader myself and I read a lot of Autobiographies. Gives me strength. Thanks for your wonderful reply.
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17634)
• Singapore
8 Aug 09
Nice answer there.. You never cease to amaze me, CB.. So something extra trivial there for you.. I love autobiographies too, jeez we have so much in common lately, haven't we.. Autobiographies are perfect excuse for us to dream of the life of others that we can never be or have.. and it's like a story-telling time. I could get immersed in those types of books for hours too; but staggered ones, LOL..
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
8 Aug 09
Yes we do have a lot in common.A little too much. LOL Shucks, if I could use more than 3 emotes, I could speak in emote lingo.I would not even need words.LOL. So we like similar books too.Nice. *wink*
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
Hello, at hard times the first thing i do, i say a little prayer. But i don't last a day without talking or visiting my friends or family. To my friends i tell them everything. But to my family though i don't tell them when things are tough, i always want to be around them at these times. I am not tough but with my love ones around. I can face anything. Happy mylotting!
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
That is sweet and very honest of you to say. Great going. We all deal with tough scenarios in life, in our own way.I guess you look for comfort and just knowing that you have your loved ones with you, it would give you all the strength needed :) Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18463)
• India
5 Aug 09
There is no certain recipe. Initially I get tensed. But I try next moment to get the solutions and all.I try out hard and try till last point.
2 people like this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
I agree with you Subha. Never give up. That is the key. From your response it looks like you have a strong will power. Good for you. God bless you :) Thanks for responding
1 person likes this
• India
4 Aug 09
hey DDT...lol.. well in hard times of mine,god is the first rescue..next i try to deal it all by self..if it is any serious issue i let my parents know..else i sort it off with help of friends..n in course of tackling problem u may find another good friend too..i guess this good friend is a product of god's good heart... and will power..yepp..i do have few extra units of it..
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
Hey D. ( LOL) I love what you wrote and the way you think. I am similar too. I try and get people involved only when things get out of hand and I can't fight it all. Else I try my level best to deal with it myself. :) Thanks for a wonderful response!
2 people like this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
28 Sep 09
Well, I have been through those patches many a times now. Sometimes the problems are so surmounting that I had found myself on the edge. During my school days my father got into business. There were a neverending series of problems sprouting one after the other. And at times I just wished that I was never born. I was involved at an age of 14 I guess. Recently, about a couple of years back I had a terrible experience with someone. I "thought" we were close. I was shattered by the experience. I found myself on that same edge again, balancing myself to hold ground or to take the fall off the cliff. Ummm... I donm't discuss family matters with friends, nor do I like much to discuss my personal problems with anyone. The only thing that makes me to move along is Faith I believe. Everytime I came against a tough one, my wounds were healed by Faith. You didn't tell us what gets "You" going?
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
28 Sep 09
Faith is very important and thanks for pointing that out. When life gets tough,you can either run from it or face it and learn, right? I think you learnt, and learnt rather well. Good job!:) I hit rock bottom for the first time in my life when I was 23. I got married at 22 to a guy I chose, whom I loved and he seemed to love me too. Then came all the mess- Me finding out that he was a huge liar, then him physically abusing me and me shutting up as I wanted the marriage to work,then him slapping me right in the middle of the road, us going to counsellors but him still refusing to follow their advice and finally, me deciding to divorce him and Yes!!!! I am free now!! Woohoohooo.. Life is so good :) I know one thing for sure, I never want to forget this part of my life as I learnt valuable lessons, thanks to that nightmare. So what gets me up? Same as you, Hope and Faith that better things are in store for me. Life might throw crap at us, sometimes we duck and escape the hit. Sometimes it hits us on our face. But we need to move on and learn everday . Sorry for my long boring story, but I could not resist..LOL.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Sep 09
I am so sorry to know that you had to go through an abusive relation as such. And, honestly, No it was not boring, I am glad that you could trust me to share the experience you had. I really mean it. Have a beautiful life to enjoy my friend
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
28 Sep 09
I am glad that I didn't bore you. One of those days, when I just had to vent. I read the tagline on your profile page. Its lovely and true. Life is full of irony. He used to say he would leave me and make me cry, then I left him and made him cry. LOL.. Sucks! But he left me no choice, really. Thanks to him, I learnt a very huge life lesson. Earlier I knew what I wanted in my guy. Now I know what I don't want in my guy. That I think is a very important thing to know. I hope you have a beautiful life too.
@voldrox (7205)
• India
5 Aug 09
nice discussion cbeee3 we have all have had bad times, i had mine, these times could be so bad.... i sit down alone and ponder over things, things i have done in the past, i recall the bad experiences i have had, it is so depressing to have such thoughts and not something one should think about when the time is really bad, but well they automatically flow in somehow and our history comes back to life to bug us at the moment we are weak, this is how life sometimes is, people say what they have to and you just nod at them because you know their opinion is not actually helping, they say the obvious "don't worry everything will be ok" but you know how you feel....and they won't make it any better, what else could they do by the way... i mostly stay alone at moments like these and don't want to be anywhere near the people who don't understand what i am going through, because anything they would say would seem so irritating and you get the feeling that they don't even care about you... so staying away from such people is what i do coz all they are going to do is make things worse for you... the one thing i do mostly at times like these is talk to God, ask Him to relieve me of this phase, i always stay alone when i do that... i want to be somewhere i can be to be able to completely concentrate on Him and tell Him everything... He is the one who really knows what i am going through and keep talking to Him... ask Him for forgiveness for whatever i have done wrong in life... i am a sinner and I need salvation... He knows me better than my own parents and He is the one you can always trust in life! Just want to leave the matter in His hands for He is the one who will always be there for you no matter what... some people curse God when they have bad times but i can't ever do that, i don't blame God for that, it is me and myself just, i have to suffer for having ignored God for quiet a long time and He knows it as well and He can help me out of this... the test will soon be over! Blessings to all
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
Thanks voldrox, A wonderful response. You have put so much thought into this.It is evident. I know what you mean.Unsolicited advice keeps coming our way when we are already worked up.That is one thing that really bugs me.But then we can't do much.So its best just to say OK and leave it at that. Its good that you have faith in God and can turn to God when you have hit rock bottom.We all need some sort of an anchor in our lives. I believe in Karma myself.So I too feel as though I must have committed a sin or made a mistake and so am being punished for the same. What goes around comes around.That kind of a thing. I guess we both have that side to us. :) God bless you.I hope and pray that none of us have to face too many such tests in our lives.:)
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7205)
• India
5 Aug 09
yeah cbeee you are right ... thank you too... yes i too hope people don't often have such times... to some it really gets heavy
1 person likes this
@JamesKYTan (1607)
• Malaysia
26 Sep 09
I have a very bad habit. That is 'whatever will be will be' character. It is no good, that is why I am not successful in my life or career. I always take things easy. However, since I am married now, if I have work problem, I will just share it with my wife, she will just console me and asked me to submit to God in my prayer. I live day by day till today. Cheers and happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
28 Sep 09
I love that bad habit of yours, coz off late, I have it too!.. Its the best way to deal with life, per me. The inevitable will happen and its best not to kill ourselves over what could have been and learn from it, yeah? Great answer, I like it!
@Melbee11 (233)
• United States
26 Sep 09
I hate it when life get's tough or things don't go right. So somehow I don't let the things that might lead to that get in my life. I hate thing's that ruin my life, or the way I'm living it. It sucks to deal with things you really shouldn't deal with in life.
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
28 Sep 09
It does suck to deal with things in life, that you hate. But sometimes, things you cannot imagine in your wildest nightmares do come alive. That is when your real courage surfaces. Here is me hoping that your life is smooth sailing!
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
26 Sep 09
Hey, When life is tough, I just merely flip open up my laptop and listen to my favorite songs that get me away from all the bad things that are in my life. It is really good because it relaxes me too. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
28 Sep 09
That is great! Music therapy is one of the most effective stress busters. It is nice that you have found a way to kiss all your worries good bye, when you are worked up with life. May you always listen to music in happy times, and not have sad times.
@suchi60 (913)
• India
5 Aug 09
hope
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
6 Aug 09
A very good answer. Hope floats, it never sinks. It always floats and can get us through the hardest of times. Thanks for your response!!
@angelajoy (1840)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
I can usually get through my problems by myself, but it's always nice when loved ones offer their help or just cheer me up if they really can't do anything to help me. I've faced many hardships in life, and I got through all of them. I just wish that I'll always have the strength to deal with any problem that would come to my life.
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
6 Aug 09
I am sure you will have the strength to deal with anything life brings you. And I hope from the bottom of my heart, it doesn't test us too much. I somehow believe that we are only asked to face things in life that we can deal with.We just need to look deep within us to get the answer. Loved ones always provide the required comfort in those tough times. Thanks for your response.God bless!
• United States
5 Aug 09
Life is what it is. We all handle tough situations in different ways. With the support of my family and friends I recently made it through a very difficult time. With their kind words, hugs, and prayers I am doing well. Prayer on my part has helped me to cope with this too. Taking a deep cleansing breath and looking around at the beauty of what life has to offer is helpful too. Even on a bad day there are moments of good that make it easier to go on. Big huggers to you.
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
6 Aug 09
Hi my friend ElusiveButterfly, *Hugs* to you too. So true. We all find our own ways to cope with hardships in life. Looking at the beauty in life, no matter what happens, is definitely the key to getting through tough times. There is beauty all around us, if we only look closely. Thank you for your response. My prayers are always with you.May God bless you and I hope you don't need to be tested too many times in this life. Love, peace and respect, CB.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
5 Aug 09
When things get rough in my life I turn to my best friend and a few of my other friends and family. I also talk to my pastor and therapist about some things. I need those people in my life to help me through these things and to deal with some of the things that life tends to throw at us.
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
6 Aug 09
Wonderful that you have such nice,caring people who are there to support you in times of need. A support system like this most certainly does help. Thanks so much for your response.May God bless you always!
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
My self, my will and my motivation....to survive and move on. no matter what happens, i do want to achieve things even though when it is in the failing stages. but some times i do take the concern to the highest power. i know there's some doubts about it too, but it worked...once
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
6 Aug 09
So you are a Survivor. May be I should sing that song by "Destiny's child" .. "I'm a survivor" and dedicate it to you..LOL.. Just kidding. It is good to know that you have will power and that self-motivation thing in you that can get you out of a tough situation in life. God bless you and thanks so much for your response. Always be a survivor
5 Aug 09
Usually I tend to deal with tough times by myself as I am a soliatry beast. How I do it is when ever life hits me where it hurts I take a few moments to assess and then remember that I have a dream of what I want my life to be and until I achieve this dream I cannot let these troubles get in my way. I also believe that every time you get through a tough time it makes you stronger and more capable to deal what else comes your way. If that wasn't the case I would have been six feet under a long long time ago.
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
5 Aug 09
Touche! Hats off to you. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger,I believe in that too. We learn from such tough times . Besides the way I see it, life is a journey right? So without these ups and downs life would be 1 steady road and there would be no ups to enjoy either. Thanks for your response!