Look my eyes and speak!!! Or else you are a liar... Is it true?

Eyes with a speech - An eye
India
October 1, 2009 4:24am CST
Dear people, How you speak to a person? Where you look at the person while speaking? The eyes or the mouth? Some people will be even strange; looking on to the ground or some parts of the body or somewhere else.... On the other side; people can concentrate on their speech only if the opposite person is seeing his/her face. Otherwise they stop their speech. Ok, my question is [b]Do you speak to a person looking into the eyes? Will you be shy to look into the eyes? Where else you see while you speak? Will looking into the eyes generates trusty speech? Can a liar see the eyes and speak?[/b] Please share your thoughts..... Cheers...Have a nice day always....
4 people like this
23 responses
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
1 Oct 09
[b]As a child, I was taught it was improper to look into someone's eyes, especially if an authority figure looked at you. I learned I would be punished for it. Years later, a friend of mine had a mom who was very suspicious of me, since, she said, "She won't look into my eyes when I talk to her." For this, she wanted me to stay away from her daughter, as she was certain I was always lying about something to her! I'd had no idea! I'd wondered why she seemed to dislike me! When her daughter finally told me why I so disturbed her mother, I realized with a shock that I'd been completely misread. I later learned that most people in our culture judge you by this very thing! And I'd had no idea. Even when my friend tried to explain it to her mom, she still thought I had to be lying about that! It's taken me years, but I'm better now than I was then about looking folks in the eye, but it still makes me cringe a bit when I do. I doubt I'll ever be entirely comfortable with it. I'm telling you this to let you know, if you think someone is lying based on this behavior, it might just be something such as I have, a problem which is so ingrained in me I have to force myself to do it! Maggiepie "WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"[/b]
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear Maggiepie, That is really a different experience you had. I never met people like these... But hope you are maintaining eye contact now...Thanks for participating in this discussion... Cheers..... Have a nice day always....
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
2 Oct 09
I've heard of some cultures in which women are reared to be subservient to men or other people--even women, if older or somehow in authority, as a parent would be--but my training came from a family which didn't spring from [b]any of those cultures, so I don't know why they think as they do. As I've said, however, I do look folks in the eye, now, since I learned that their perception of me is skewed by the common idea in our culture that direct looking equates with honesty. It's only that I feel this twinge, even after all these years, whenever I do. I doubt I'll ever lose that sick little flutter in my stomach--I'm almost 62--but since they don't see it, & don't know, it doesn't matter. What matters to me is having folks trust me, & not misjudge me. I can live with the stab of guilt I feel. Being trusted more than makes up for it! Maggiepie "WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"[/b]
1 person likes this
• India
2 Oct 09
Really in our country we do had the same culture some years back. But things are getting changed now. Women are pretty respected and given equal honor like men.. Even some places women are treated like as you said.... Cheers
1 person likes this
@nanayangel (7691)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Hi there Phillip! I always try to maintain eye-to-eye contact with the person or people that I am talking to. It shows sincerity. However, that's not always the case. I know some people who can lie and still look straight into your eyes while doing so.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear nanayangel, That is real. Some people have a stubborn heart that they are always right eventhough it was not true... Cheers...Thanks for coming into this discussion... Have a nice day always....
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I mostly look people in the eyes. I dont lie either. However there are people out there that can look you straight in the eye and still lie.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36608)
• United States
1 Oct 09
For as long as I can remember, I was taught to maintain eye contact when I was speaking and so I try to do this as much as possible. Sometimes it is difficult for me to maintain eye contact though. One of the reasons that I have a difficult time maintaining eye contact at times is because I sometimes feel like a person is imposing in my personal space when we are having a conversation if they are standing too close and also holding eye contact. And yes, if I am saying something that isn't entirely the truth, I can't maintain eye contact either.
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear dorannmwin, That is the situation most of us lack eye contact when the person is so close... Really many would have experienced that... Cheers... Have a nice day....
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
yeah, that is true, I like the person who could talk to me while looking directly at my faces indicates that she have interesting stories to tell and happy to see me, compares to a person who never look directly from eye to eye is sometimes label as a liar. Thus, it says the eyes could not hides and never lie. When i am talking to a person i look at his eyes and then i could read from the way he reacts or acting as genuine or just a matter of a show.
• India
2 Oct 09
Hi Neelian, Well said. Shy guys and guys with low self esteem will really don't have much of eye contact. Even liars fall in the same category. Just as you said, eyes can show everything on our mind... Cheers... Have a nice day always...
@daeckardt (6245)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I think a lot of that has to do with the culture you grow up in. I know that I have heard that in some cultures, it is considered rude to look someone in the eye. In my culture, it is considered normal to look someone in the eye. One time, I had a teacher who was in one of my classes (I am studying to be a teacher) tell me that their saying now is "eyes up front" instead of "eyes on me". This should help those students who believe that it is rude to look an adult in the eye. Personally, I look at the nose because that way I appear to be looking the person in the eye without getting the uncomfortable feeling that I am doing so. I don't want to see them looking at me.
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear daeckardt, Nice and well said. Not in some cultures, but most of the culture it is rude to look to people in the eyes. I have heard saying, "how dare you look into my eyes and speak".. It is pretty different but it is true in some cultures.... Thanks for responding... Cheers.... Have a nice day always...
@cherrc (666)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
hi phillip! when i talk to someone, be it in a mtg or a simple conversation, i make it a point that i look into eyes of the person am dealing with. not just for my own benefit but also for such person for him/her to know that it's okay to talk and will not get intimidated by me. aside from the eyes, the mannerism of the hands and other gestures also can be applied to know whether or not it is warm conversation. ü but during college days, when i did the public speaking, i look beyond the audience's head, literally, without them knowing that i wasn't really looking at them so i won't get distracted while doing my piece and for me to avoid getting nervous. :)
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear cherrc, Really a nice thought. Looking beyond the audience head... Really it will be helpful for a new person who speaks infront of the crowd for the first time... Cheers... Have a nice day always....
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
well, in my line of work, it's really important that we know when a person is telling the truth or not.. With that, I think most people who can really look you in the eye and answer your question is generally telling the truth. Those who fidget a lot, and those who look the other way, is probably making something up.. Or they realize what the right answer to your question is, and even if that's not what they're actually doing, they would tell you the right answer.
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear Ingkingderders, Indeed its true. Peorson who lacks eye contact really makes up something to their talk may be its a lie or even try to exaggerate. Thanks for responding... Cheers... Have a nice day....
@jugsjugs (13046)
1 Oct 09
I think that you cannnnnntell i a person is telling a lie as if they do not look at you in the eyes that means they have something to hide.I always look at people in the eye as i find it is common curtosy to do that as you are talking to the person not at the floor.
• India
2 Oct 09
Really to every person, it is a good manner of the listener to look into the eye. Well said... Thanks for coming into this discussion... Cheers.... Have a nice day always...
@gmatthews (155)
• United States
1 Oct 09
Although I think there may be some truth to the idea that liars will not look you in the eye. I can also tell you that good liars make it a point to look you in the eye. Also you should take into consideration those people with a low self esteem. People that dop not think highly of themselves, most often, look down when talking to someone. It's not because they are lieing, it's because they feel about about themselves.
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear gmatthews, True.. People who have low self-esteem don't look into the eyes directly... More I have seen these kinda people. Thanks for responding to this discussion... Cheers,..... Have a nice day always...
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
1 Oct 09
Liar - Liar liar pants on fire.Ha Ha just as when we were kids!
Its very easy to spot a liar by their eyes,body movements,and gestures ect. I personally like to talk about serious things eye to eye,then I know if the person is lying to me by their reactions,even if they think they are doing well.I have also found that a liar can only hold eye contact for so long then their game is up.Depending on the person,its ok not to look into my eyes at all times though,I try my hardest to keep this as important as the conversation itself.
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear Capsi, Where is the capsicum in your avatar? ... Hope it is not the old picture of yours As you said, Liar can be for a moment till their play is on.... But only truth succeeds. Nice and well said... Cheers.... Have a wonderful day always...
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
1 Oct 09
I have heard that one of the signs that a person may be lying is lack of eye to eye contact and I believe that may well be true although I’m sure that there are expert manipulators out there who may deceive in that way and still manage to lie while looking straight into the eyes! Looking at someone’s eyes when speaking with them is common courtesy, I think and it is something I always try to do to show that I am listening and understanding what is being said to me. The only thing that would make me look away would be self consciousness or embarrassment.
• India
2 Oct 09
Dear Paula, Well said.. Really a great response I had in this discussion. Answers everything to my questions.... As you said, self consciousness or embarrassment make us to look away... It is true... Cheers... Have a nice day always...
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
I look at the person’s eye and face when I am talking to them. Even a little speech I have at work explaining about a process I look on everyones eye. This is for the reason of I want their attention on me. I want to check if they thoroughly understand what I am trying to say. So if they have question or something is not clear it usually reflects first on the eye that they did not understand you, I can easily comprehend to them and clear everything. In my opinion, if the person can’t look you in the eye when you are accusing them and they perspire they are telling a lie. Their body react on the lie they want to hide. Their body make it obvious that they are lying. But some cannot look in the eye for different reason. Me I can’t look straight in the eye of the person I admire. When I have a crush on one person I can’t look at him. I can look at him when he will not look at me and when he look at me I look the other way. It is because I am shy and I don’t want this person to know how I feel to him. Giggles.
• Malaysia
11 Oct 09
Best to look the person whom you are talking to in the eye. This is a universal practice to denote that your are sincere with him.If you should look else where, it may send different signals.Yes, there are some people who are generally shy that they will not look into your eyes when you speak to them. This often happens in Asian societies.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
2 Oct 09
I have also herd people saying that if a person talks without looking on face he lies. But, I don't really beleive in that. I have a friend who is very shy type, especially when she talks to guys. Usually she looks at the eyes of a person for sometimes and then look down. She does this regardless of talking to a friend or a colleague (I mean work related talk).
@calyxus (827)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
Oh a phrase from the wisdom of the ancient. It is true, the eyes are the window of the soul. If you wanna know what's inside of the person, you have to look deep into the eyes. However, did you know that eye-to-eye contact can now be faked? Yes, some people can look you straight in the eye and lie? It just needs practice. LOL Trying to master it, calyxus
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 09
It is not always true, especially when it comes to gender and culture. There are various reasons why a person does not look at the eyes of the person spoken to. For instance the speaker may have a certain dislike towards the listener. This has happened to me. The speaker may be trying to hide his.her emotions, which is not lying. One religion teaches its adherents to lower their gaze when speaking to someone of the opposite gender. This has something to do with modesty. Ever since I was said to have a penetrating gaze, I have always avoided looking into the eyes of my listener, unless he/she knows who I am. In short I would not rely on the eyes alone to determine a person's honesty. What about blind people?
@bettydeng5 (1696)
• China
2 Oct 09
It's express sincere that you look their eyes when you speck to others. I often look my friends eyes when I talk with them. If I spoke a lie, I don't have my encouragement to look their eyes. Maybe someone can do that, but I can't, because I felt it's not sincere.
@happy6162 (3011)
• United States
2 Oct 09
I sometimes look into the person eyes that I am talking too. But sometimes I just glance at the people I am giving a speech to because I get nervous when I have to be up in front of lots of people. I wonder while giving the speech what they are thinking about and are they even listening to me.
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
2 Oct 09
I think that just because a person doesn't look you straight in the eye doesn't mean their lying, but it can. I think that their's other signs that can make you realize that a person is lying, and not just the lack of eye contact. A liar can be shy, especially if they aren't used to lying, etc. I can lie to my mom, but I can't lie to my husband's mom, etc... It just depends. Also, I am shy,I look around the eyes, or their hands, mouth maybe... but not their eyes, not all the time.