To Kill Or Not To Kill - That Is The Question

United States
October 1, 2009 3:37pm CST
I am afraid of spiders, but I generally take a "live and let live" attitude with them, especially if they are outside or someplace out of the way like a closet that I don't use much. I know that spiders are very helpful to our ecosystem, so I try to make every effort to let them be. Since I found out that my little one is allergic to them, though, I have started killing any ones that are or could be near her. Mostly this is just inside the house, however. I would rather kill a couple of spiders than to have something bad happen to my little one. That leads me to the main point of this discussion. I saw my first real-life Black Widow Spider today. She was beautiful, in a creepy spider way. She was in the garage, which we go into on a regular basis, so I had to kill her. That started me thinking, because I wondered whether or not I would have killed her before I found out that my little one was allergic to even regular spiders. I came to the conclusion that I would have, because they are poisonous, and I wouldn't want to risk someone getting bit. Black Widow Spider bites usually only cause mild discomfort to a healthy adult, but they can be very dangerous to children, the elderly, and people with certain health issues. My parents are older, and both of them already have health issues, so they are at risk as well as my little one. Here are the questions that I was wondering about and would love to hear your responses on. Do you kill insects, snakes, scorpions, mice, etc. or do you let them live? Does your decision depend on where you encounter it, such as in your living space versus outside? Does it matter whether or not the animal is poisonous? Will you kill the poisonous ones but not the non-poisonous ones? Am I the only one that puts this much thought into whether or not to kill another living thing?
4 people like this
22 responses
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
1 Oct 09
i use to to let them do their thing but here in Florida after a rain we get some doozies plus the regular black widows, most are the size of a half dollar or bigger, but now we have a new puppy and even when it's fully grown up its a small one a yorkie, and if he gets one in his mouth because he eats everything he can see on the floor he's gonna get sick or die so i keep a can of spray in the house and when i see them i just spray em and zap their gone then i wipe the floor of any residue of spray. now if i find em out by the pool area i just put em in the leaf net and throw em outside.and the gecco's or salamanders eat them and what they miss the cat birds take care of
3 people like this
• United States
1 Oct 09
I'm not really sure how big they usually are, but this one was easily the size of a quarter. I didn't see her at first, because she was in the corner of the garage by the gas cans. When I reached for the gas can, though, she moved and startled me. I came really close to grabbing her without realizing it, and I think she actually moved to get out of my way rather than as an aggressive movement. I can understand killing them to protect your dog, because as you said they could easily kill him. It's really good that you clean up the spray after you kill them, too, because that could seriously harm him if he licks it. A lot of people don't think about that, and then their pets get sick anyway from the sprays they use while trying to protect them.
@jb78000 (15173)
1 Oct 09
i really wouldn't kill anything unless i thought it was necessary. of course you had to get rid of that black widow if it was a danger to your family. i personally only kill mosquitoes (i don't live in a country where there are poisonous spider mind you) and don't like doing that. i actually wouldn't kill mice or rats myself [irish you are a mouse murderer ] but would employ other methods to get rid of them in the unlikely event my flat ever became infested with them. however i certainly wouldn't be off objecting to other people killing them [except the mouse murderer of course].
2 people like this
@thea09 (18324)
• Greece
1 Oct 09
And your opinions on rabbit stew?
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Yes, mosquitoes are the one insect that I do not feel bad killing. Even with mosquitoes, though, I find myself brushing them off me rather than squishing them - unless they bite me, that is, and then they DIE! I would rather not kill mice, either, but sometimes it just comes down to the health and welfare of my family versus the life of the mouse. I tried using the sonic soundwaves to get rid of mice and keep them away. It didn't work, however. One even had the audacity to leave a "present" right next to one of the speakers! Fortunately, I haven't had the experience of having to deal with a rat, and I really don't want to, either. My mom said that there was one in the crib when one of the other kids was little, and it terrified her. Apparently rats are very aggressive, and they will attack, especially small children and babies. She thinks that the baby spit-up, and it was attracted by the smell. EEWWW!! She doesn't really remember how she got the rat away from the baby without it biting, because she was so scared that she wasn't really thinking about what she was doing but went directly into "Mommy-mode" as she calls it. Growing up on a farm, though, kept her from being scared of the rat itself.
@jb78000 (15173)
2 Oct 09
well actually rats tend only to be aggressive when they feel threatened. but yes, then they can attack. the main probably with rats is that they are very, very smart and quickly learn to avoid traps, poisons and the like. mice are dim enough to keep falling for the same things over and over again.
2 people like this
@babyangie27 (5177)
• United States
1 Oct 09
My husband is like you,he thinks before he decides to kill or not kill,so no you are not alone on that one. I dislike spiders,it makes me get all creepy crawling feelings all over me,of course this could be just my own mental issues. I kill bugs inside the house because my daughter freaks out over them and I have to keep her as calm as possible due to her seizures. Black Widows can do serious damage though. A friend of mine on one of my social sites got bit by one and was sick for a very long time. I don't think about the bugs being dangerous or not if they are in the house they must go. Now I will try to shoe them out the door but this seldom works. Sorry it took em so long to get to this one I am still a bit off today.
• United States
2 Oct 09
Sweetie, you don't need to apologize for not answering one of my discussions ever, but especially not today! You are going through far more important things than answering a dumb discussion about worrying whether or not to kill spiders. I am glad that I am not the only freak that thinks about whether or not something needs to be killed. I try to respect all life, but sometimes I just have to do what needs to be done. I can understand your reasons for killing any bugs in the house. It is nice that you try to get them outside instead of killing them, but you definitely need to do whatever it takes to keep your little one calm. If that means that bugs must die, then so be it. They shouldn't have been in your house to begin with - the dumb bugs.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 09
yep those dumb bugs is right. I just wanted to let you know I will be around to update you and everyone else after my appointment tomorrow. Wish me luck
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Good luck! I am glad that you got an appointment for tomorrow, and I'm glad that you will keep us updated. How did things go last night? How are you feeling today?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Oct 09
I put most spiders outside and forget about them. But black widows? BAM. Rattlesnakes in the backyard? WHACK. If there in a place where they could be dangerous to my children, that's where I draw the line.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
I totally agree with you on this. Even though I feel bad killing just about any living thing, I definitely put my family's safety first. Unfortunately, my little one is allergic to regular spider bites, so all spiders in the house go BAM. I haven't found a rattlesnake in the backyard yet, but my mom said she found me playing with a baby rattlesnake when I was little. She freaked out and forbid me to play with snakes any more. She said she has no idea how I didn't get bitten, but I was always very careful to grab the snakes just below the head so they couldn't bite me. Looking back at it now, though, I cringe and hope my kids don't do half the stupid things that I did when I was growing up.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Oct 09
We've had at least 3 rattlers on the property. We have snake fencing up now, so hopefully the back yard is safe...
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Yes, I hope that your yard is safe, because that is very scary, especially since you have children. I haven't heard of snake fencing. What is it? Is it like the invisible electric fencing that you use to keep dogs in the yard?
• United States
1 Oct 09
I'm also afraid of spiders, I think their so creepy. The ones on the outside most of the time I don't bother with them but if I see one in the house I make sure that I kill them. I did however kill some the other day outside, I have hedges all in the front of my house and their was four big spiders that had made real big webs on them. To start with I just left them alone, thinking that they would be good to kill other insects. The trouble with this was, one day I opened my door and one of them was right in front of the door. That was all it took, bye bye spiders. There are some things that I wont kill like green snakes, lizards,and so forth. The only thing that I'm having trouble with now is wasps, I'm having to kill a least one or two of them everyday. I don't know how their getting into my house.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Yes, that is the problem that I have with letting spiders live near my house. Eventually, when the weather gets cold, they will try to move their residence inside the house. That can't happen, because I will not take the chance of my little one getting bit again. It might happen without my knowing it, but I will do everything I can to keep it from happening. You brought up another good one, though - wasps. I don't like them, but I will try to avoid them rather than kill them. If they are in the house, I will even try to get them to fly out the window or door without irritating them enough to sting me. Usually, they are just trying to find their way back outside, anyway, so they don't bother me if they see a way out. When they make a hive near the house, though, they have to die. They will protect their hive and sting you if you get near it, and it doesn't take many stings to endanger the life of a child. Besides, I am mildly allergic to them, so if I get stung a couple more times my life could be in danger, too. If you keep finding a few in the house each day, then you probably have a nest nearby. It might be in your eves, around the window, under a porch, etc. As the weather is getting colder, they are also looking for warmer spots to inhabit. Try looking for the hive early in the morning or late in the evening, when it is colder and they will be less active. It might be more difficult to find at these times, but you also run less of a risk of getting stung.
• United States
3 Oct 09
thanks for the advice I think I'll have someone look around and see if they can find a nest. I had another one that was in my house today, I'm getting really tired of it. So far I've looked all around the outside of my house but I can't find them, I'm just afraid that I'm going to get stung one day or someone else will.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 09
Yes, you should definitely try to find the nest. If you are finding at least one or two each day, then there has to be a hive nearby. You should get it taken care of before somebody gets stung or it gets so big that they become really aggressive about defending it. Do you have an attic? If you do, then it could be up there. I have never seen a hive in a basement, as it is usually too damp and cold for them, but I guess it is possible. Also, there are some types of wasps that make nests in the ground, so you might want to look for a hole in the ground. Be careful of this kind, though, as too much noise and vibration generally make them very agitated. My dad got stung pretty badly when he was mowing, because he got close to one of these nests with the mower. He didn't mow over the nest, but the noise and vibration of the mower disturbed them, even though he was still a short distance away. My mom was horseback riding when her horse accidentally stepped on one of these nests, and the horse got stung really bad but fortunately she didn't throw my mom off. My mom's feet got stung so badly that they swelled and she had to have medical treatment, however, even though she normally isn't allergic to wasps.
@thea09 (18324)
• Greece
1 Oct 09
Hi pupelalabaster, I used to be much more sqeamish and any spider would be hit by a shoe. We have many varieties here and if they are outside fine. I don't like the big fat hairy ones that scuttle fast and they get the shoe treatment. But I do have a couple of spiders which live in the house and mainly stay in one space and when I see the wonderful job they do every day with the mosquitoes and flying ants its made me fond of them,they have names, and I do worry that something bigger will come along and eat them. They do an excellent job. I did get bitten by a small scorpiion the other week in my sleep which was rather unpleasant. Sconic devices keep mice out and snakes outside don't bother me but I will quite happily run them over on the road. But when one came outside and it was a dangerous one I was quite happy to see my Greek neighbour rush to my rescue wielding a garden spade to decaptiate it. I had the tinest lizard earlier on my bedroom floor and they don't bother me but should live outside on the terrace not indoors, so my son put it outside. Gekos I would kill in an instant as loathe them but they are usually too fast.
2 people like this
@jb78000 (15173)
1 Oct 09
what's wrong with geckoes? - they eat mosquitoes - always thought they were handy things to have around.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
I can understand your feelings regarding the spiders, especially the big, fat, hairy ones. They really are quick little suckers, and they look like they would really hurt if they bit you. I used to even leave these ones alone, as long as they were outside, or make my husband catch them and take them outside if I found them in the house. If they were too quick to catch, though, they would get squished if they were in the house. You got bit by a scorpion? I don't really know all that much about them, but I thought they were poisonous. Did you have to go to the hospital and be treated? Are some of them poisonous but not all or are they only poisonous if you are allergic to them? Sonic devices don't work on mice - or at least the ones that I tried didn't work. We had a snake in the house once. I have no idea how it got in the house, but it did. We just caught it and let it outside. My husband was afraid to grab it, so I had to do it. I guess that's fair, though. He can take care of the spiders, and I'll take care of the snakes. I like lizards, even Geckos. We had some in a fish tank when I was younger. Other than that, though, I agree that they belong outside.
• United States
3 Oct 09
If I could, I rather let it live. If I'm in the living room or kitchen and see one, I'll scope it up with a magazine and rush it out the door but if I'm in the shower, I'll spray at it with the shower hose. I'll feel bad afterward but spiders creep me out.
• United States
3 Oct 09
Yes, I completely know the feeling of being creeped out by spiders. Even so, I used to do the same thing that you did and try to get them out of the house safely if they were invading my living space. If they were only occupying a corner that I wasn't using, then I would just let them be. I still feel badly when I have to kill them, but it is for the safety of my family. I don't think I would like to find one in the shower with me, though, and I would probably try to drown it, too.
1 person likes this
@bitoffun (203)
• United States
3 Oct 09
I don`t kill any creepy crawly things. I yell for my hubby or my sons while I sit on the counter top. lol. eeeeeewwwww. Of course they think I`m silly but hey, I`m a girl hehehehe. Ya wanna hear something werid? My sister loves spiders and even ahd a black widow pet. Yuck yuck. yuck.
• United States
3 Oct 09
Hmmm ... do you think she would like to come over to our house and take all the ones in the garage home with her? That way, we can get rid of them without having to feel guilty about killing them. It's a win-win situation. I think it's funny that you sit on the counter top and make the guys take care of all the "creepy crawly things". I guess that is one way to boost their ego and make sure that they feel manly and useful.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 09
It's not my nature to kill humans OR mammal animals, but when it comes to vermin like insects creepy-crawlie vermin, THAT is where I draw the line. Insects like cockroaches and spiders are the curse of my existence even now, and i'm not a Gandhi (even he was human and still has imperfections; today's his birthday though) when it comes to killing them. When insects become a plague that messes up your way of life, war has been declared and "thou shalt not kill" gets thrown off the cliff. It's a good thing i'm at least a Christian agnostic and not a Buddhist or my life would already be more Hell than it already is. Cockroaches, ants, spiders, it doesn't matter. I'd be glad to kill them all and go to Hell for it if it means keeping my sanity alive. No, with those infestations around, life IS Hell.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 09
I am sorry to hear that you are having problems with insect infestations. They are definitely not pleasant, and I can understand how they could make your life miserable. I hope that you are able to get rid of them soon. Speaking of infestations, I just found another Black Widow Spider in the garage today. We had bought spray after we found the first one, so I got the spray and used it in the corner. Before I knew it, there were at least a dozen smaller Black Widow Spiders scurrying out of that corner! I have no idea how many there are roaming around the garage, but I think we definitely have a problem with them. This scares me, because I am afraid that one of my family members will get bitten, which is especially dangerous if it is my elderly parents or my little one. Not only that, but I'm afraid that they will wander from the garage into the house, which will significantly increase the risk of someone getting bitten.
1 person likes this
@ra1787 (501)
• Italy
2 Oct 09
Usually i bring them outside the house and let them go free, if they don't do me harm i don't see why i should harm them. The only insect i kill without mercy are mosquitos...
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 09
I can understand and admire that philosophy. It is nice to hear that other people value all forms of life, too. Mosquitoes are a pain, aren't they?
1 person likes this
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
2 Oct 09
Im like you i dont like to kill anything unless im protecting either myself or someone else. So if there is a spider in my home then yes i kill it. WE have seen a brown recluse recently. I just hate spiders anyways but dont like to kill any animal. I remember one time a spider got in my car. I just arrived to work and parked looked on my leg and it was just sitting there. It was the scariest momment ever.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 09
I would be scared if I looked down and saw a spider on my leg, especially if it might be poisonous or if it was big and hairy! It's probably a good thing you didn't notice it until you were parked, because it could have caused an accident if you noticed it while you were driving. I don't think I would even know what a Brown Recluse Spider was if I saw one, but I know that they are seriously dangerous. That would scare me, too, if I saw one! Did you kill it or just let it be? I think I would have to kill it just to be on the safe side, because I wouldn't want it anywhere near my family.
1 person likes this
@JohnJeff (722)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 09
I tend to kill if the insects harmfull especially in my house.But if the insects live outside I just let them free.Insects also have the right to live.
• United States
3 Oct 09
Yes, I agree that insects have a right to live, just the same as all other living beings. It is understandable to not want an insect in your house, especially if it is harmful. I also agree that insects are in their own environment outside, so they should be left alone as much as possible if they are not harming anyone. Thank you for sharing your views on this subject with me.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Oct 09
Hi purplealabaster, I guess you are too much conscious for such a small thing. Well your fear about spiders and incests are common to every human,though they may not cause a major problem it is better to get rid of them by killing especially in homes where kids are there as children tend to catch any moving object in the floor irrespective of a spider or a scorpion.so don't think too much about it just kill them. coming to your other questions I don't go in search to kill any insects but if i find it disturbing i will do it. No matter whether it is poisonous or not it might harm children knowingly or UN knowingly so it best to get rid of them.and your last question Well there are many kind hearted people like you who tend not to harm any creatures but when when it comes as a safety issue for your loved ones don't think about it just Get rid of them.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 09
Thank you for being so kind in your response. You make a very good point that not only do children try to catch and play with any moving object on the floor and don't even realize that it could harm them but also that insects can harm children even if they are not poisonous. I also understand and agree with not going in search of insects to kill but doing what you need to do to protect your family if they happen to cross your path. You put it very well in your response.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
2 Oct 09
I usually try not to kill anything but certainly when an insect is in any way dangerous to anyone especially my child I can be a little more ruthless and have no qualms murdering the little critter! My general rule is if I find something innocuous I try to put it outside and let it live although I have a lot of ants here in the summer and they drive me crazy so unfortunately I am not so careful in regards to saving their lives I’m afraid.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Yes, it is rather difficult to get ants outside safely, especially when they are swarming trying to find something good to eat. I don't bother with one or two, because I figure that they will report back to the colony that there isn't anything good in my house. If there is a bunch, though, I will make an "example" out of a few of them and hope the rest take the hint and vacate the premises. We don't leave food out, so it generally isn't an issue, but I do notice a few after we have really wet weather. I think the ground gets too soaked and it drives them out of their homes and in search of a safer dwelling.
1 person likes this
@riyasbass (121)
• India
2 Oct 09
If we left our home alone without us there comes the disturbance of spiders. I read from one magazine that spider web is a strong thing which is used to make bullet proofs . It looks scaring. I think we should not kill these beings. They are very helpful for the ecosystem. I had saw some children playing with this after seeing the film 'spider-man'. It will be good if nobody kills it..........
• India
2 Oct 09
When i was very young i used to hate all insects because they were creepy and crawling all over the place and i would kill them . Them as i grew older i started giving value for all living things . Now i would not kill them but take them outside far away from the house like put them in the backyard . I do believe that if you do not hurt them they do not hurt you back(the poisonous ones).
• United States
2 Oct 09
I think that you are right for the most part. If you leave them alone, then they will generally leave you alone, too. Unfortunately, especially with spiders and smaller insects, it is difficult to leave them alone sometimes, because they are so small that you don't realize they are there until it is too late. They also can get into your bed or footwear, and you won't know they are there until you disturb them and they bite you. There are other kinds, however, that are aggressive and will attack you even if you are not threatening them. These kind are very dangerous and leaving them alone doesn't ensure your safety. I believe that all living things have value, too, and I avoid killing whenever possible. There are times, however, when I have to put the safety of my family before the life of another living being.
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
this animals often attack people if they know that they are endangered. its the survivor instinct that lead them to attacked people....Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, National Geographic channel (or any other environmental channel)and animal activist would certainly do not recommend killing this mistaken animals. and we should listen to them...next time you see them, just leave them alone, or call authorities to catch them and release them in safer place where they can live peacefully and cannot harm us...God entrusted us to take care of this creatures, we should fulfill that task.
• United States
2 Oct 09
I realize that they try to avoid people if possible and are not overly aggressive. They are poisonous, however, and a very real danger to my little one and my elderly parents. Therefore, I cannot put my family at risk by letting them live in the house or the garage. Not only do we use the garage on a regular basis, but she had several egg sacks in her web that would have produced hundreds of babies. That would substantially increase the risk of somebody getting bitten and possibly dying from the bite! I watch the channels that you mentioned, and I have seen a lot of documentaries on these and other animals, including several species of spiders. I fully realize that they are beneficial to the environment and should be protected whenever possible. Unfortunately, there are not any authorities in this area that will come out and catch them and take them to a "safe" place. There are exterminators that will come out and kill them, but I can do that myself. In addition, even if there was an authority that I could call to catch it and take it somewhere else, there is no guarantee that it would still be in the same spot when the person gets here. That means that it would still be a danger to my family. While I feel badly that I had to kill her, it was a decision that I stand behind and would make again. I not only respect the fact that you want to save and protect these creatures but also commend your position. I try to avoid killing whenever possible, and I feel badly when I have to make the decision to take a life, even if it is an insect.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
2 Oct 09
If the insect, rodent, whatever is outside and not bothering me, I will gladly leave it alone. If it is inside my home, I will kill it. The only exception is if I were to see something that is poisonous. In that case, I would most likely kill it no matter where I encounter it. I used to put a lot of thought into things of this nature. I used to actually get angry if someone killed a mouse that was in the house. I would always tell people that they could have easily taken it elsewhere,let it go and let it live. I guess as I have grown, I have become a little different. I no longer have a problem with putting out rat poison to keep the mice away from my house, I no loner have a problem with killing pests that try to invade my home. I look at it this way now, I don't go into their homes to bother them, they aren't going to be allowed in mine. This time of year, it is common for us to hear crickets in the basement. My daughter's room is down there and she is afraid of them. I have sprayed and everything, but they just seem to keep coming. If I don't get up, go down there and kill them, my daughter will not sleep!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
I don't get angry when other people kill things in their house, but I do sometimes ask them if they couldn't have just taken it outside somewhere and let it go free. I understand that each person has to make the decision on what is best for them and their families, but it does bother me when I see people that go out of their way to kill things outside that aren't even bothering them. I am not talking about a poisonous snake or insect in their yard but rather a non-poisonous snake that is in the woods next to the bike trail. It is in its own habitat and not bothering anybody, and I have seen people leave the bike trail just to kill the snake. I think that is wrong. I understand the view that it is your territory or domain and you don't go into theirs so they shouldn't be in yours. I do try to look at it that way when I have to kill something, because that is the way of nature, especially in the wild. Killing crickets so your daughter can sleep is definitely an understandable thing to do, because your family's welfare should always come first.
• United States
1 Oct 09
First of all, you're not the only one who goes through the trouble. It doensn't matter where I find it in the house... I don't normally kill anything the slithers/crawls...however, just like you, we ran into a black widow the other day. Widows are in a class of spiders that reproduces like crazy! This one was quite small, but she had a beautiful little egg sac in her web. I don't have a problem with one black widow, but thousands are born, and get in all the crevices of my house, presenting a danger to my kids, or dog, then I have to do something. But I'll go through the trouble of catching moths, mantises, and other bugs that get in the house, then toss them out the door. Normally my response when my wife or kids screams at a bug on the wall is, "so? It isn't hurting anything to be there..." I am not completely live and let live though. I am a hunter, so I do kill animals. However, we consume just about everything about the animal, usually a deer, that is consumable. But when it is something as you were talking about in the house, I prefer to let it live its' life in peace...
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Now that you brought it up, I guess I am rather a hypocrite. I do enjoy eating meat, and my family hunts, too. I tried to hunt with them, but I just couldn't pull the trigger and kill anything. I will eat whatever they manage to bag, usually deer but sometimes other animals, too, and I look forward to the fruits of hunting season. We use almost everything, too, including giving the hide to a friend that makes things with them. I hadn't thought about the babies. There were two or three egg sacks in the web, but we sprayed so I think we killed them. If we didn't, though, then we could be overrun with baby Black Widow Spiders in no time.
1 person likes this
@Bionicman (3967)
• Czech Republic
1 Oct 09
It ain't no question for me. I don't kill insects. I let them be or if the spider is really big and makes me uncomfortable, I'll carry it out of the house. You may call me crazy but even if it crawls in the toilet I'll pull it out before I flush
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 09
Actually, I don't think that is crazy. I think that is a wonderful way to be, and it would be nice if more people were like that. I would like to be more like that myself, but I need to balance the rights of all living things against my need to protect my family and do my best to try to respect both. It is not an easy thing, and sometimes I need to kill in the best interests of my family, but I really respect the fact that you do not.