Has a visit from your son ever just made your day?

@Hatley (164484)
Garden Grove, California
October 21, 2009 9:29pm CST
I know this is sort of silly but I was feeling blue as I still after 11 months do not really want to be here in this retirement center but I know it was the best thing for my son to do.But I was feeling blue today,maybe aftermath of having stomach flu, but a visit from my son for these past several hours just made my day, really, just a simple little thing like that. Have any of you felt like that too when your adult kids come to see you?
11 people like this
35 responses
@dragon54u (31637)
• United States
22 Oct 09
I know just how you feel! My two sons are in college in Arizona where they were born and raised but I had to come home to the Midwest or I would have been so miserable. I miss them horribly! They call me 2-3 times a week and the other day I got an email from my eldest tell me he loved me and thanking me for all the love I'd given him all his life. That made my day!! I saved it and look at it often. Children are God's gifts to us and if we cherish them as He cherishes us, they'll bring us joy and comfort. I'm so glad your son came to visit! How is his job hunt going?
2 people like this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
22 Oct 09
Even hearing their voice brings joy to us. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB!!~
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
hidragon and Grandpa Bob yes even letters are wonderful, and phone calls. when my son had the flu a month or more ago 'he would call me as he did not feel all that great and too 'he did not want to give his bug.Just to keep in touch that is what is so great. he is still out of work, and this is so hard for him, just unbelievable.
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
22 Oct 09
I understand completely.. My son married about 2 years ago and I really miss having him at home.. He lived at home with his dad and I for 28 years, so after all of this time, it is hard to get used to him not being at home with us.. He and his wife came for supper last night and we had a great time.. The guys cooked steaks on the grill, and after dimmer, we watched a movie.. It felt really great to have him at home, it felt like old times.. I agree with you completely Hatley, it does feel really good to have a visit, it does make your day.. I also hope that you get adjusted to your new living arrangements soon, changes are sometimes too hard to get used to.. I keep telling my husband that I am moving to the Senior Citizens apartments, especially when it is time to mow the grass.. Sometimes the upkeep on our house gets to be too much.. Hope you have a great day and a visit from your son everyday.. Take care
2 people like this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
hi donna lawson yes you do get used to having them 'with you, and this was a big adjustment for both of us, but my son and I after some thinking decided this was the safest place for me for now until he could get a job and some money ahead.
• United States
22 Oct 09
Oh my, Hatley....I don't know how to say how much my heart has just gone out to you! To be stuck somewhere that you do not want to be has to be awful but luckily your son does at least visit. There are so many people living in retirement centers or still in their own homes who do not even get an occasional visit from their adult kids especially since these days a lot of families all live in different states or are too busy with their own lives to find the time to visit each other. So sad. Anyway, to get back to your question, yes I have felt elated when my son, his wife and our grandkids come to visit. It does seem to make all the other lonely times just magically disappear. We live in Ohio and our kids live in Tennessee so we don't see as much of them as we would like but my husband and I do make it a point to visit them in Tennessee every two or three months when we can. They try to come here to Ohio two or three times a year too but it is very difficult for them since they have four kids and three of them are in school or sports programs and so on. We are lucky to see each other as often as we do but every time we have to part again I feel the pain.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 09
hi sderringer yes it must be hard to say goodbye to your son 'and his wife,and of course the grandkids too. We Americans do tend to go all over the US. I was born and raised in S.D, moved to Arizona where I met my hubby, married there then moved to Ca when my now fifty yr old son was about three and a half. My hubby was born in Washington stare. so we all do get around.
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
22 Oct 09
well, I have no children, adult or otherwise, but I hope I make mom's day visiting her
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 09
hi ElicBxn oh you well definitely,you just do not begin to know how wonderful it is to have your adult kids take time out to come see you. I think with so many people its the little things we do for each other that we seem to remember the most. Like I remember my grandpa feeding squirrels that would run up and take nuts out of his hand.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
22 Oct 09
my vet clinic has a squirrel that does that - I liked to have not been able to get off the porch for being mugged by it yesterday
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 09
oh how cute, and I did not have the knack that my granddad had, them seemed to know he would never hurt them . he he.
1 person likes this
@rosepedal64 (4192)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Hi Hatley Oh yes..Many times over. I love my adult sons and when they come and visit with me or just call me lets me know that they haven't forgotten about me. I know when they become adults they have their own life and to think that they can work me in on their busy schedule just makes me real happy. As you know my one son isn't around close but he does write and calls me too. It was funny that he called me the day that everything went crazy for me. You have a great day and keep smiling.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
yes I will do ,and you too.Its so wonderful when your son come to see you or even just phone, I know the feeling so well. a phone call or a letter or even an email it just helps so much. a gift of time someone called it and a gift of love.
• United States
30 Oct 09
Hi Hatley Wanted to let you know that we are almost moved in the new place. I have been working on it all week trying to get things organized. I haven't had the chance to go down to my younger sons to get on the computer. I did make a few minutes today to try and do some catch up on here. They will have my internet on 6Th, so until then I will be on here just a little. Have a great weekend and keep smiling my friend.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
thanks rosepedal64 glad you are mostly moved in, as thats always such an exhausting experience. I bet you will be glad to have your computer all hooked up and ready to' go. have a lovely weekend. hugs.
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
26 Oct 09
That's just lovely Hatley...my kids live far away, the one that drives works full time. They are both pretty self involved and have little time to visit with me. The elder one comes a couple of times a year, I've seen the younger one once in 5 years. They live in the city, I live in the bush...it's a rat race down there and I have trouble finding my way round with all the new, faster roads. They are cross with me because I don't visit them and when I explain I'm no longer up to the long drive or used to the new roads and faster conditions they don't listen. For me to visit means leaving my animals and I can't trust anyone to look after them properly. My best friend won't even follow my instructions about feeding times and play time and so on...if I go I worry about my 4 legged friends; if I don't go, I'm a uncaring, selfish mother.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi mstickle I am like you ,I could not just live any animals that depended on me. my dad used to say this, we do not eat supper until the cows and horses are fed, and he meant it.,so his hired hands were quick 'to get the animals cared for. It is sad when one's kids get so self involved they have no time for their own'mom and cannot go that extra mile to see her. It sounds to me like its much easier for them to come see you than for y ou to struggle and try to see them. hope they 'do come soon and visit with you soon,
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
30 Oct 09
They'll be coming for Christmas Hatley.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
ohmy gosh Mstickle I just realized how close Christmas is .wow. I am really glad your kids are coming for Christmas, that will be wonderful for you all.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
22 Oct 09
If my adult child came to visit me I would be really shocked because I only have one daughter and she is seven! (LOL) Seriously I can certainly appreciate how that would make your day; it is a reminder of why you are doing what you are doing. I hope and pray that when my daughter grows up and moves on with her life that she remembers her old mother every once in a while and gives her a call or better still takes her out to lunch! I hope those blues have stayed away Hatley.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
hi paula 27661 yes that would be rather hard to pull off. ha ha.,Yes I also hope when your little girl grows up she remembers her old mama and comes to see her often. a visit is much better than any gift.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
30 Oct 09
Oh, I agree Hatley that is all I pray for; that my daughter and I will still be good friends and love each other like we do now...
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi paula I am sure she will as she is being brought up to be a good person.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
22 Oct 09
Hi Hatley! I know exactly what you are saying and how you felt. When our children grow up, and get busy with their own lives whether it's continuing on a path or is transitioning into a new one, it's heartwarming and gratifying when they make time to spend with us. I've always thought that the greatest gift a child (grown or not) can give to a parent is the gift of time. There just isn't anything that says "LOVE" more than that. I'm glad you had a great day!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 09
hi catdla1 that is it,just plain old simple time,its so 'easy to do and so many just don't think of that. But I am very lucky. that does say love more than some expensive gift.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
22 Oct 09
Exactly! Who wants more junk to dust, I don't care how expensive it was. An hour or two of a child's time has so much more value.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
yes that gift of time is much more precious than some gift that you unwrap and just stick it away. it means to much to me.
@vandana7 (67709)
• India
22 Oct 09
Oh Hatley, I wish u were staying somewhere near me. I would visit u every day. :) And even make u some nice tea, and bring in some fruits. :) I can understand how lonely u must feel. And ur son - god bless him - he truly loves u! U really knew how to bring up kids. :) Pity, he couldn't keep u with him, and as u understand his problem, I think it is a gr8 bond based on love and understanding that u both share. :) Wish I would also have something similar. :) But u know Hatley, out here, there are folks, rich Indians, they give their parents a room in the house, and treat them like unpaid nannies, cooks, housemaids. Realy! And one of the sons I knew even insults his father left and right, for not having saved enough wealth for him, even though this son has a very secure government job. When i think of people like this, and I compare with ur son, I think it is the way u instilled values at right age. :) Have a great day. :)
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 09
thanks so much vandana7 I am just blessed with a great son thats all. I am sad to think that some rich Indians treat their parents that way. of course there are some people here too who put their elderly parents in a nursing home then just 'sort of forget them. thats so cruel and unkind. have a wonderful day vandana
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
hi tingtong sorry for your upset. wanted to tell you I have two indian friends,Shiv and his wife, and they are so sweet with each other, and their adult kids are still with them, the young woman is studying, and the son has been in and out of petty trouble but they care for them and its so great as the son is straightening up his life and the daughter just graduated and has got a job. they did not kick their kids out and let them fend for themselves, they were family and they helped them. I loved that in Shiv and his wife. also I learned theirs was an arranged marriage which surprised me as they really do love each other so much.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi vandana I do so admire indians keeping their young people with them and helping them as I have always loved to see families helping each other.
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
23 Oct 09
Hello, Hatley. I live in Spain, and all my children are in England, so I don't see them very often, although we're often in touch by phone and email. Last week, I was feeling quite ill for a couple of days, after being badly bitten by mosquitoes and suffering a reaction. One of the kids - I have 2 sons and a daughter - called, and I said I didn't feel so good, but it was nothing to worry about. The next day, all 3 of them phoned, at about one hour intervals, to see how I was and ask if I needed cheering up. They all chatted for about 15 minutes, so that really made my day. At least I know where my kids are concerned, it's not out of sught, out of mind.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi Sandra you and your children really are sperated by' many miles. I am so glad that they do call you and they do care as you found out when you were ill. I once got sick from mosquito bits,and we never did figure out if it was an allergic reaction or what. but I know i was really sick. So they really do think about you all the time.thats lovely.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
error alert really I do know how to spell separated.
@Wizzywig (7859)
22 Oct 09
Absolutely. When my youngest son went off to Uni, I was gutted... the full "empty nest" bit. On the 3rd weekend he just turned up on the doorstep with a bunch of flowers. Two Christmases ago, there was a knock on our door at about 10pm & it was my older son paying a surprise visit. He and his girlfriend had driven over 200miles after their Christmas lunch. It is always wonderful to see either of them &, just getting a text/email from them can really brighten my day
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
hi wizzywig oh absolutely emails letters, phone calls you know they are really thinking of you and when they do come to see you its the best gift in the world.
@Wizzywig (7859)
29 Oct 09
I've just got home from visiting my younger son for the day. We just "chilled", strolled around town, had coffee & talked about nothing in particular - what could be better
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
22 Oct 09
Here's hoping that one day soon you can be in a better situation than that retirement home...but yes, it really must have made your day to have your son visit you--how is he doing? Any better job prospects coming his way? My thoughts and prayers are still with the two of you
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 09
thanks pyewacket that means a lot to me. He did not really say but I suppose that meant he had not got a job yet. but we did 'so much other talking and since we both are music nuts we did some comparison on our various tastes.he is trying to convert'his classics loving mom into one with more varied tastes. he he.'more fun,
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
oh Alice I am old and yes I like some of the same things he does and some I just cannot dig. We are having Murry a guy who plays music on some fancy keyboard and sings along. i go down to watch him mostly because he does not get a lot of audience here and I feel sorry for him, but he uses this synthetic sound thing and after awhile all his songs all sound the same.some people just do not bother but I feel sort of sorry for him. he did come here to entertain, so why not listen to him.
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Well, I was never able to have kids of my own, but I do have 2 God daughters that I keep in touch with from time to time. They both now are in their late 20s and live in other states now, but it does my Heart glad for sure when I can hear from them. One of them just got married this last January before moving away from Eastern WA, and I shocked her and suprized here by showing up at her wedding. It was a wonderful time indeed.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Oct 09
hi tina how wonderful that you showed up at her wedding that must have made her day too. Its nice you have God daughters that can keep in touch with you. One of my mylot friends is also unable to have kids and I feel sorry for her as her personality shows she would 'have made a great mom. I was just lucky myself.
@bunnybon7 (37460)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Oct 09
oh God yes! i know what you mean. i love my son here but when my youngest comes over im so glad to see him because he hardly ever gets to come by. he always brings the 2 babies. his boy 3yrs and little girl 9mths. im so glad your son comes to see you. it sounds like hes a special guy.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi bunnybon7 it must be so great to see your grandkids and I do so enjoy my son when he comes to see me too. have a great weekend.
@salonga (27955)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
My only son still lives with me and my husband. But it is always a joy to be with him when he arrives home from work and the 3 of us eats our dinner together. Oh I just love to with my family and I do understand you my dear why a visit from your son really made your day! I hope he makes the visit more often!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi salonga you and me both.no I am sure he had something come up which is why he did not make it this Wednesday but know he will come as soon as he can. glad your family is altogether. thats lovely.
@malamar (784)
• Canada
30 Oct 09
Hi Hatley, Even when family and friends get separated by miles, a telephone call or an email can brighten the whole day. I refuse to believe we cannot spare a few minutes once in a while to contact a loved one. If the world ever gets that crazy, I hope it stops spinning long enough to let me off! I am happy for you that your son lives close enough to visit you. I too am overjoyed and "settled" after a visit like that. I don't care how old our kids get, or how busy their lives may be, I think it is vitally important for us to stay in contact with each other. I hope you are feeling better, and wish you many more happy visits with your son and your friend.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
oh yes malamar just an email or phone call and it feels like they are with you again.We all have to take time out to visit our loved ones and know how much it means to them. better than a pile of presents, as it is a gift of love and time. I am smiling again. happy again.
• Australia
29 Oct 09
A visit, but more often a phone call - definitely yes. I have five wonderful sons, but they are all living a distance away. One was in England for 12 years and another in England for 7 years. They are all back in Australia now, but the nearest is a four hour drive south. One is a 12 hour drive north and the furthest is an 8 hour flight, plus more time spent in an airport between flights. All the boys phone regularly and it is always a happy occasion. I have so often hung up from a call from one of the boys or from a friend, thinking how timely the call was and how much I appreciated it. I would love it if my sons could just "pop in" and I would love my grandchildren to be able to do the same, but I am thankful for modern technology that allows us easy communication. What a wonderful world!
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi cloudwatcher I am glad you get those phone calls from your children. I am so lucky my son is only three miles from where I am so he can get here pretty quickly . I can imagine how wonderful it is if your kids could just pop in.
@sweetie1026 (1723)
• Philippines
28 Oct 09
Of course it will make my day, i think any mother would be so happy to have a visit from their son or daughter. Specially, when we are on a retirement center like you are now. I hope that you did enjoy your day with your son dear friend.Take care always!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi sweetie I always enjoy his visits and my best friend nelda calls me every Wednesday so that also helps immensely. Then too I have mylot friends here to also' talk to so I am doing okay now.
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
23 Oct 09
[b]Hello my friend Since I am with my daughter I never had this happen, but its always wonderful to see our kids no matter how old they are, I know this made your day my friend, it makes me smile just knowing you had a great visit with your son, you talk about your son alot my friend, so we all know how much he means to you, I hope one day you can be together again my friend, that is something I look forward to reading from you as well I can't wait to read that discussion. Smoochessss my friend[/b]
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Oct 09
hi kitty oh I will sure let you know,I keep hoping and praying too. yes I do talk about him a lot,he is the only near family I have left now. I also have aq cousin in Idaho that I have never met but we keep up a lively email correspondence. I have been widowed since 1991 so my son and I joined forces as I was working part time and that way the two of us could pay the r ent on one apartment.
@littleowl (7157)
22 Oct 09
Hi Hatley, My daughter doesn't come and see me as often as she used to so I don't get to see my grandson an awful lot, yet of recent she has been popping around a bit more which has meant a lot to me..it may seem silly but it is those little things that our children do that can take a weight off our shoulders...hugs LoLo
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 09
hi littleowl that is it exactly and sometimes I do not think that they realize how much that means to us. just little things to them but they mean a lot to us.better than gifts, because the visits are out of love.